posted
I started a new job 6 months ago (when I thought I had just reached remission) I was very worried about mentioning anything about Lyme or chronic illness before I started. I was trying to make a good impression. Anyway, I'm not in remission, but I was in denial, so it took me 6 months of getting worse to realize.
I was orried about the amount of work I was missing for drs appointments, so I told my supervisor I had "health issues" (instead of saying nothing)
My brain fog has come back along with everything else. My work the last 3 months has not been up to my usual standards, and in the last 6 weeks it has suffered even more. I haven't had my review yet, so I don't know what they will say. As a new employee, maybe they won't notice...but I am worried I am coming off as lazy and inattentive to details, sloppy etc. I know several people are not happy with me.
If they have concerns about my performance at what point is it better to bring up my health concerns rather than stay silent? And should I consider mentioning brain fog specifically? I feel like unless they are seriously unhappy, I should not mention brain fog. But if they mention they are unhappy, should I tell them I have been having serious health issues that distracted me? (And which I am now getting treated for and getting better from?)
I am so torn. I'm scared about even mentioning a "chronic illness", let alone brain fog, but I love this company, and I know how important first impressions are.
But, working and trying to get a hold on this thing AGAIN is just about killing me. I've got 2 weeks of vacation coming up, but I don't know if I'll be able to magically turn my performance around by January. If they give it to me, having support from my company would be so helpful.
I was seriously worried about getting fired for a while, but I think being a new employee also gives me a little buffer room (for the "learning" process everyone has)
Posts: 503 | From Alberta, Canada | Registered: Jun 2009
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posted
As a funny side note: Despite my problems with concentrating and remembering, I was in denial for 3 months because I knew I would be hyper aware of stuff like that...yeah, well, one look at the ORIGINAL of the above, and I would have known better...
It was a literal word salad. My bosses were worried about my appointment, and I was in love with Lyme disease...lol
Posts: 503 | From Alberta, Canada | Registered: Jun 2009
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aklnwlf
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 5960
posted
Hey Nicole. I started a new part time job 8 months ago. I mentioned that I had an accident and lyme disease (past tense) as a reason for not working full time for 10 years.
In my situation, this info was received without sympathy or understanding. I mentioned to one of my co-workers about residual cognitive issues and she could really care less.
So, I kind of keep things to myself and don't beat myself up for not performing up to par. I tell myself how great I'm doing, all things considered.
I still vividly remember when a good day for me was going to the couch from the bed and maybe eating once a day.
You ROCK in my book. Hang in there!
-------------------- Do not take this as medical advice. This comment is based on opinion and personal experience only.
Alaska Lone Wolf Posts: 6159 | From Columbus, GA | Registered: Jul 2004
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BoxerMom
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 25251
posted
I know it's tempting to "save face" with employers, family, and friends by explaining that your challenges are related to your Lyme and not your intelligence (which is intact, just difficult to access!), but think twice about admitting this to an employer.
I think you risk more by owning up to a chronic illness (especially a "controversial" one), than by simply showing up for your review and seeing what is said. I think you are right that you will get some wiggle room with your status as a new employee.
Six months is too soon. Keep impressing them. Keep treating your Lyme. With more time, you may be able to confess your Lyme, but please wait until you KNOW it won't cause a problem.
I do think you can own up to specific symptoms. But I wouldn't say "brain fog," as that's confusing to healthy people. Go with "sinus infections" or "headaches." Anything that people can relate to. And do say that you are getting appropriate treatment.
And, remember, we are always hardest on ourselves. It's possible that your work is exemplary, or at least satisfactory, and you are worried over nothing.
Good luck with your review. Don't do anything that would jeopardize your job!
Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- If you have to explain anything at all, go with vertigo if that is one symptom you have. There are varying degrees of that and most can understand. "
It's also not tied to any one particular illness. It is mostly from an inner ear "upset" and can bother some more than others but the stigma & judgement usually does not go along with vertigo as it would with other conditions.
We all know what "brain fog" is but it is not an official medical term. And it can make one sound like an "air head" - you don't want to take that chance.
IDSA doctors have criticized lyme patients for "creating" the term "brain fog" so you definitely don't want to use it around any doctor other than an LLMD.
But, as others so wisely advise: DO NOT TELL
unless and until you first declare the need for accommodation for medical reasons, a disability to
your Director of Human Resources. They should not need to know why - just that you are declaring a disability for which you request REASONABLE ACCOMMODATION (it's the law).
If there are adjustments of schedule or your environment that would help you do your job, it's your right to ask.
You have to declare with HR FIRST to protect your job. You would still have to get the work done in a timely and satisfactory manner, of course.
If you have questions, call your local BAR ASSOCIATION and ask them for the names of attorneys who can guide you with the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act). -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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I already had to tell them that I "hurt my knee", because I couldn't go out in the field with it.
And I also told them I had stomach problems, because I couldn't ever eat the food they provided.
So far, I think they just think I really screwed up my knee and have some sort of digestive problem.
The only problem is that I'm seeing a therapist who recommended that instead of lying to literally everyone I knew about my health problems, I try mentioning it (not with specific details or mentioning Lyme)to some people, since the lying and making up excuses was making it hard for me to make friends and was stressful.
So I mentioned to co-worker that I might have some sort of arthritis, and that was why I never went to the gym/walking etc. with them.
Like with aklnwolf, they really didn't see, too interested, so they might just forget.
But if they ask, I can always just say it turned out to be a stomach problem that made my joints hurt (like Celiac).
That would explain why I keep eating weirdly at least.
And its not something that they would expect to impact my performance a lot...I hope
Posts: 503 | From Alberta, Canada | Registered: Jun 2009
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posted
Now I'm worried about what I mentioned to my co-worker though!
It would be nice if I could TELL friends (and co-workers who are friends) the reason why I was always cancelling or could never do anything.
I just moved to a new city, and making friends when you can make 10% of any activity they suggest is really hard! Especially when you can't give a good reason!
Posts: 503 | From Alberta, Canada | Registered: Jun 2009
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- I would bet that therapist is not ILADS educated nor Lyme Literate (unless she suggested never using the word "lyme" to work mates).
That changes everything.
Of course, a therapist is wise to guide a client to not lie. But, a LL therapist would know how to help the client keep confidential details that could cost their job.
Can you find a LL therapist? There are so many reasons that LL professionals - for whatever else-you need a professional for - well, they can't really help a lyme patient if they don't really know all about lyme and about the political bombs strewn all along the way.
Good luck finding a way to convey truth, but that will still not set you up.
You don't have to even get very specific. But do keep it all straight.
Don't make up ANY alternate universe explanation because they are just too hard to remember and can spin out of control.
I used to joke about "my parachute landing in the trees" and leave it at that. Or "this knee just can't do this" - or "my stomach won't allow that" - or "my body just requires more: rest, quiet, dark - whatever."
If asked why you aren't going to do (certain weekend activity) say that you PREFER reading a book right now (or whatever other "activity" you might like to do if not really just sprawled on the couch as they need not know that).
Allergies work as an explanation, too, if you have them. Allergies can make people sleepy, etc. and that can help explain enough to get out of jam. -
[ 12-11-2011, 09:12 PM: Message edited by: Keebler ]
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- Just re-read your last post and one thing jumped out.
You said that you felt you had to "explain why I keep eating weirdly"
Really, there is nothing weird about a healthful diet. But, as so many of us are accused of being "picky" I say we start saying that we "want to be very careful to take in the foods that really work best" for us and leave it at that.
It's painful to see those who are careful with their food plan feel like they need to explain their choices in defense, rather than in gratitude that foods from the earth fuel their cells and offer great taste.
It's really too bad that we are put in the position to have to explain ourselves at all. Maybe the most freeing thing is just to not do that.
It's not easy to do but two words can help there when someone asks if we are going to eat that, or not going to eat this.
Just "Yep" - or "Nope" and give a cockeyed smile. "Ay, Matey" is also fun to pull out on occasion. If I can make 'em laugh, they move on.
But, if we complain about what's on our plate, it just sets us up for critique.
We really do have to come to terms with it. Others will pick it apart, too, if we turn our noses up at our food as that sort of invites their comments. -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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I like that. In an alternate universe somewhere I am a treking through Nepal right now!
My therapist is not LL, but there is no way I will find one here in Canada.
We don't even have LL physicians, except for one in Ontario.
The problem with my diet is that a) I work with mostly guys (I am an engineer), and guys in their 20s are less likely to be health conscious than girls and b) People always want to know if I am gluten sensitive, or why I eat the way I do.
It's more when there are free lunches, or when I bring something really weird to lunch, or when we're on a road trip and they stop at a fast-food place where I can't eat anything.
But I had the first half of my review! And it went pretty well.
The first three months at my job I was in a different position and things were much better, and I got along great with my manager.
He gave me a really good review, so that helped set the tone.
As for the last three months, well nothing stellar and some things to improve, but nothing really terrible came up either.
In a week I go on 2 weeks vacation, and since I re-started antibiotics next week maybe things will be better in January
Thanks again for the advice!
Posts: 503 | From Alberta, Canada | Registered: Jun 2009
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lpkayak
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5230
posted
i was a teacher and learned right off i had to hide it-play it down-say it was treated-or just not admit it at all
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
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