Topic: should i ask for a picture back (this is long)....
randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
my son in law has left his wife of 9 years for a woman with two small children.
i really disapprove of this. husband says he just wants him to be happy.
but here's the catch.
when mom died, it had only been a day or two maybe at the most, they came over (his current wife, the one he's leaving). and she actually walked in the door and started saying "oh i want that, i want that". now she had only met my mom ONCE, ONE G....DA.... TIME...
my sister was in shock as we all were. but my genius husband said "oh yeah, can she have that?" my sister was floored and said "uh, yeah" so his wife took this picture.
well we find out it did not belong to my mother at all. my aunt gave it to her with the understanding that it be returned to her if anything happened. we didn't find this out until afterwards when the aunt asked for it and went ballistic off the walls furious when she found out my husband's son's wife got it. i mean, over the moon rage...
well now that the son is divorcing this woman i want to ask for that picture back.
my husband went off on me saying that if we didn't want her to have it we should have said so, it's our fault, yada yada yada.
i really want to contact his son anyway and ask for it back but husband would probably go into a rage over this if i did. it would really put some hard feelings to rest in my family tho if i got it back.
my sisters and the aunt are still mad at husband for forcing my sister in that situation to give it to her and i'm still fuming years later.
i didn't get anything of my mother's and would like to have it before this woman takes it out of the house and it's gone forever.
what would you do? i wish my husband would support me on this but he is totally against it.
i figure his son is leaving this woman and that picture belongs to our family and she shouldn't have asked for it in the first place.
am i so wrong in asking for it??
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- How about standing up for yourself, going independent of anyone's wrath.
Don't blame anyone or try to sort out how this got jumbled.
Don't ask for it back. Just explain to whoever has it - in two sentences - the situation.
Say that it means a lot to your family and that you would really appreciate having the original -
because you later found out it belongs to your aunt who had loaned it with the express understanding that it be returned to her.
Quickly add that you will make a good quality copy for them and send that to them within a week.
LazerQuick or the like can make very good copies these days.
That should make everyone happy. -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
Well husband is defending his son and his soon to be ex at all costs. Being very very vocal about it too.
I think if the son calls and husband is not around I'm going to bring it up. it's a family honor thing and one I'm willing To take.
My mom did not like his son or his wife and my sister took the aunts wrath over this. It needs to be resolved finally.
My husband's sister has 3-4 months to live and he's not going to see her. His choice. He's totally clueless about family relationships
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- That's all just clouding the issue.
The issue is that your aunt's property was mistakenly passed along. Now that you are aware of that, it's only proper that she gets her property returned. Period.
Leave everything else and everyone else out of it. It's between you and whomever has the picture. Period. Communicate directly with them and them alone.
Don't dredge up how this happened or any of your feelings about anyone or any event. Just say that now that you are aware of the mix-up, you have to correct it.
It's not the business of anyone else. Don't even discuss it with anyone else, at all. Take care of your business and move along.
If anyone has a problem with that just tell them to KISS it - as in "keep it simple, Sweetie" but that it is not their business.
It's just between your aunt, yourself and the person who will receive a nice copy in exchange for the original.
A copy of the picture will be nearly indistinguishable to anyone but the original owner. -
[ 07-30-2012, 05:12 PM: Message edited by: Keebler ]
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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OptiMisTick
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 399
posted
[ 05-22-2013, 03:06 AM: Message edited by: OptiMisTick ]
Posts: 1338 | From Above the Clouds | Registered: Nov 2000
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- OptiMisTick has a good idea, even better, actually as I forgot about copyright law and it would not be okay to just copy a work of art if it falls under copyright law.
A similar thing happened with a painting done by my late grandmother. My aunt made us all copies of that - but copyright law did not apply.
If the person who now has the art is intent on that, you can probably find an inexpensive print of it via the web.
To run with OptiMisTick's idea to find other art in the same vein, just find the artist's signature and then just cross search their name with the term "similar" - or find a similar work of theirs.
They did not know the work was not yours to let go of and may feel a loss when it leaves their hands.
So, it's a nice courtesy to offer a trade mostly because I believe that anyone attracted to a piece of art is drawn to it out of the need for beauty in their life -- or the need to escape or transport their consciousness for a moment's respite (as with landscapes or other places in the art).
It's good to facilitate beauty - & even daydreaming through art - as much as possible.
Even if you don't like this person or their ways, it just seems really important to honor the spirit of the art in this case. It can't hurt and it could help in ways that you may not even be able to imagine. At the very least, it's an honor to art, itself. And that matters. -
[ 07-30-2012, 06:13 PM: Message edited by: Keebler ]
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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