posted
One daughter and her husband are moving 1,000 miles away tomorrow. The other is moving to Paris next month. I feel like I've been belted in the stomach. I love them both so much. I do want them to be happy but I can hardly bare the thought of them being so far away. My husband says I need to let them go live their lives. I know he's right but can't stop crying tonight. Just had to tell someone.
-------------------- I'm not there yet but I'm closer than I was yesterday.---- Lyme Band 31,41,58. Being treated for Lyme and Bartonella. Posts: 149 | From Maine | Registered: Oct 2010
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GretaM
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 40917
posted
Oh Sheila
It breaks my heart how you described how you are feeling.
You sound like such a loving mom, I bet your girls will be just as sad about moving so far away.
I am hopping in my Transporter to bring you chocolate and tissues.
And you can borrow it anytime to jet over to visit your girls.
I will say a prayer for their safe journeys.
Greta
Posts: 4358 | From British Columbia, Canada | Registered: Jun 2013
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steve1906
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 16206
posted
Sorry you're feeling so down...
Be happy for them, now you'll have a place to stay when you go the Paris!
-------------------- Everything I say is just my opinion! Posts: 3529 | From Massachusetts Boston Area | Registered: Jul 2008
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-------------------- I'm not there yet but I'm closer than I was yesterday.---- Lyme Band 31,41,58. Being treated for Lyme and Bartonella. Posts: 149 | From Maine | Registered: Oct 2010
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posted
Very sorry to hear. I know how that must HURT!!
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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beaches
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 38251
posted
Sounds like a typical husband remark, but I don't doubt he'll be missing them a whole heck of a lot himself-just as much if not more than you do.
Do you have other children close by? If you do, that's at least somewhat comforting.
You've been dealt a double whammy. I'd be crying a river myself. And at the same time, I'd be contemplating putting the family home up for sale and exploring rental opportunities in that city 1000 miles away and looking into a vacation or two or seven in Paris.
Girls always need their moms, eventhough they often don't realize it. Turn these lemons into lemonade and make your travel plans accordingly. I am sure your girls will be thrilled to see you and their dad at their doorsteps months after their moves.
Take advantage of Greta's offer for tissues and chocolates! Those are two necessities during difficult times.
Best of luck to you!
Posts: 1885 | From here | Registered: Jul 2012
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posted
Thank you beaches and lymetoo. All your comments are comforting.
I haven't traveled much away from my bedroom since I got Lyme 4 years ago but it's something worth striving for.
This week I got chocolate for my daughter that's leaving today. We had supper together and had wine that I'd been saving that our two daughters had brought back from Paris 8 years ago. Guess I should've got chocolate for me too. (I need to take care of that today!!!)
In my mind I'm going to be borrowing your Transporter quite a bit Gretta!
I will try very hard to turn these lemons into lemonade. I really appreciate everyone's ear and advice.
-------------------- I'm not there yet but I'm closer than I was yesterday.---- Lyme Band 31,41,58. Being treated for Lyme and Bartonella. Posts: 149 | From Maine | Registered: Oct 2010
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surprise
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 34987
posted
On the other hand, aren't you blessed to have raised 2 girls who are now independent women, capable of taking care of themselves,
smart, confident, healthy- to walk into the world and experience their lives fully.
I will take to bed for weeks when one of my children finally leaves the coop, and will probably need a tranquilizer at the first high school graduation that's around the corner,
but I do have one child, a beautiful daughter, that will probably never be able to fully live on her own---her health and mind affected, needing care.
So think of the positives- and the incredible job you did as a mother to make this possible for your children.
-------------------- Lyme positive PCR blood, and positive Bartonella henselae Igenex, 2011. low positive Fry biofilm test, 2012. Update 7/16- After extensive treatments, doing okay! Posts: 2518 | From USA | Registered: Nov 2011
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linky123
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 19974
posted
That's a lot to deal with at once. I really do feel for you.
Do you have other kids close by? And are you able to travel?
Start making your plans to visit now and maybe that will take some of the edge off.
Will keep you in my prayers. Take care.
-------------------- 'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.' Matthew 11:28 Posts: 2607 | From Hooterville | Registered: Apr 2009
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lpkayak
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5230
posted
will pm you
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
I'm so sorry....it must be hard while being ill as well.
I think that's the difference, if you were 100%, you could feel more that their lives are flourishing. Sure, you'd miss them, but could make plans to make it fun visiting back and forth, SKYPE, etc.
With having TBD's, and how they hinder us, you're likely not in a position to be spontaneous and positive about the moves.
Also, being sick with your babies far away has to be really hard, no matter how strong you are or try to be.
Hoping you adjust to the change quickly and so understand where you're coming from.
Posts: 867 | From PA | Registered: Jan 2006
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Thanks linky123. No there are no other children. I would love to visit them if I can.
Yes, healthy, that is part of the problem. I haven't been able to have a part in their lives as I would have these last four years if I hadn't had Lyme. Thanks for understanding. So true--we do have SKYPE!
Thanks for sharing and caring everyone.
-------------------- I'm not there yet but I'm closer than I was yesterday.---- Lyme Band 31,41,58. Being treated for Lyme and Bartonella. Posts: 149 | From Maine | Registered: Oct 2010
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GretaM
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 40917
posted
Sheila-how are you doing today, on move day?
I use the Transporter an awful lot when I am having bad days.
I imagine jetsetting to exotic places and seeing new and exciting things.
It is always available for you to use to visit your daughters.
And it's big too, so just ask your hubby to wheel your bed in.
And there's always Skype
Always nice to see smiles. I don't have Skype myself but perhaps you can get some virtual tours of your daughters' new homes also
Anyways I am thinking of you today and I hope you are OK.
Posts: 4358 | From British Columbia, Canada | Registered: Jun 2013
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Ellen101
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 35432
posted
I know how hard this must be to have both of them so far away. As others have said I would try now exploring vacation possibilities in Paris and if you think your other daughter may be settling 1000 miles away for good perhaps a move closer?
Posts: 1748 | From United States | Registered: Dec 2011
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LisaK
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 41384
posted
hang in there. Life sure is hard and we , in this modern world, forget what life was like long ago when families split up all the time to move out to new lands.
I really feel for you as I am going thru the beginnings of this with a 20 year old learning to fly. my favorite niece just moved to south carolina and my favorite nephew(from another sister) just went into special ops and can't come home for three years and is not allowed barely any contact.
I am overly sensitive because of my tick diseases, etc, so I try and keep a rational perspective on my feelings, trying to tell myself that this is normal, this is normal......
My youngest just started high school and this really hit me hard that all my birdies are leaving me. I truly feel your pain. BUT, everyone here is right when they say that you helped raise these beautiful birds that can fly and live as real adults
making their decisions and starting new (possible) families to rear and see off for themselves one day.
It IS a circle of life and we cannot stop it no matter how hard we try, so try to embrace it and let yourself cry, but when you are ready put on your "boots", pull up your "straps" and get back to living!
There is so much out there for each of us, we only have to ask for it.
This is a loss and grieving is essential. Do not feel bad for feeling sad. let it happen. Maybe there is a close friend that can come over and sob with you? this always helps me in tough times
blessings and love to you!
-------------------- Be thankful in all things- even difficult times and sickness and trials - because there is something GOOD to be seen Posts: 3558 | From Eastern USA | Registered: Jul 2013
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dbpei
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 33574
posted
Sheila, thinking of you and sending hugs and tender support your way. You have raised 2 very independent young women that you should be proud of. When I read about those with young ones stricken with lyme, my heart breaks for them.
You are certainly entitled to grieve your losses right now. You have gotten some wonderful advice from the others, who understand what you are going through. Cry away... and in time, you will feel more accepting of this and perhaps even be strong enough to travel and even move closer to the one staying in US.
Posts: 2386 | From New England | Registered: Aug 2011
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linky123
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 19974
posted
Thinking about you today. Take care and God bless.
-------------------- 'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.' Matthew 11:28 Posts: 2607 | From Hooterville | Registered: Apr 2009
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