randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
I know this isn't lyme related well it could be a s husband does crazy things.
we jus got all new appliances and I left ve my stove.
anyway he works with wood. he was putting some kind of fnish on this wood and it's cold so it wouldn't dry. right...he turns on my brand new oven a nd dries this gosh awful smelly wood in my brand new oven.
now when I turn it on it smells,awful. I'm afraid to bake in it and he's telling me he didnt hurt it and im crazy...yada yada yada...
please say my oven is not ruined....
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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just don
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posted
gas or electric oven?
What kind of wood?
What finish was trying to dry?
True story,,,cousin was drying gunpowder in warm oven.
His wife came home about then,,,didnt know anything was inside
Turned oven on high to bake a cake.
They got all new windows and doors in their house. Nobody hurt.
-------------------- just don Posts: 4548 | From Middle of midwest | Registered: May 2001
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lpkayak
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posted
Yeah randi...that could be dangerous depending on the materials
A lot of us get really sick from chemicals...paint, rugs etc
If he put paint or stain or something like that it could be bad
Once i couldnt go in house for 3 weeks...once after new rug i couldnt go in room for 3 monthths
I am so glad i am single...so cimplicated with other ppl around
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
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-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
it was stocks. brandnew electric whirlpool black top.
he had sanded them, filled with putty and put tung oil on them. he sanded again, baked and then put some kind of stain on them.
I had to leave the house. he always uses some kind of wood cleaning chemicals around.
I've pleaded, begged, cried, screamed, ranted and all. he's going to use them no matter what.
he uses them in an enclosed garage and anymore I jus tell him. he it's your brain not mine but I ain't calling the med squad when you collapse.
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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just don
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
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posted
If it is self cleaning electric,,,
pick a nice day
open all the windows
turn on the self clean
and go shopping and to doctors appts all day
treat yourself to a great lunch on him
BAN HIM from your kitchen
If he cant do that ban him from the house
its called new locks
-------------------- just don Posts: 4548 | From Middle of midwest | Registered: May 2001
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
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posted
- I would call the non emergency number for you closest fire department station.
Some drops of oil could have fallen onto coils, into stove. Some residue could have gone on the oven racks, sides, lights, etc.
Volatile oils would be a concern when the oil soaked wood in there, more so of course, but there could be some kind of filmy residue left behind. -
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lpkayak
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Tung oil is better than a lot of things tho, isnt it
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
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- No, it really is not "safe" for breathing. It needs to have a well ventilated working space & drying space.
Once VERY well dried, it may be better than other oil finishes for some people, in some ways but it can still be very strong for many with chemical sensitivities for the first month or two.
But to be the wet oil, in an oven in a home . . .
the fumes it will emit can be dangerous and it's
most certainly not safe regarding a fire hazard, it is not safe to put in an oven and turn it on. It may not be safe to operate that oven after the oil soaked wood is removed, either if any traces are left behind somehow.
Spontaneous Combustion of Drying Oils as a Fire Cause
- by Kelly Rampling -l/5/00 -
[ 01-31-2015, 04:35 AM: Message edited by: Keebler ]
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linky123
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posted
Is he crazy?
-------------------- 'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.' Matthew 11:28 Posts: 2607 | From Hooterville | Registered: Apr 2009
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randibear
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posted
that's why I said it may be lyme related. he will work in closed spaces, the garage, when those fumes come in the house. says I can leave if I don't like it...
like I said it's his brain so don't call me for help.
he has no sense when he wants to do something. chemicals are dangerous and he just doesn't accept it.
I don't understand.
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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linky123
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posted
So sorry you have to live with this.
I have MCS myself and know how difficult this must be for you.
-------------------- 'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.' Matthew 11:28 Posts: 2607 | From Hooterville | Registered: Apr 2009
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lpkayak
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posted
Randi. I can relate on two levels. The mcs but also dealing with someone i love having those behaviors and the fact they are probably broght on by un treated lyme
The person i care about that cts that way is an adult and totally closed to idea there is something wrong with his behavior and it could be brought on by lyme
Thank god i dont live with rhis person and altho it hurts i just have to distance myself and pray for him
Things seem to go in cycles with your hubs. Maybe it will settle down. But living in a situation where you are forced to smell poison and its possible as n explosion could happen is pretty serious
When the rug was put in my exercise room...about a 12x12 room...i could not be in there for three months due to off gassing of carpet
I read online how to hurry up the off gassing. 24/7 i had forced cross ventilatin. One fan blew good air in...one blew bad air out
Heating the room..was suppised to accelerate process so i did...up to 100 degrees...then blew it out...BUT MY CARPET WAS NOT FLAMMABLE...
It took a long time...
I hope your bedroom is far from oven and you have working smoke detectors
I hope you have thought about ways to exit if stove explodes
This is not a good way to live...esp when fighting a chronic disease
You need clean air good sleep stress free environment
I hope you can figure it out...would he pay for you to move into one of those motels with suites for a few weeks?
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
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randibear
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posted
crap...he came home this morning and is now closed up in the back bedroom using carb and choke cleaner to clean some metal parts. the fan is not on and the window is closed.
I could tell him it stunk and it wouldn't help. yes I believe it's untreated lyme and downright selfish behavior. he says he paid for this house and by god if I don't like it the get the heck out...
I'm getting so tired...am waiting for better weather in ohio and then getting one way ticket.
after all "you're nothing and you don't deserve respect"...
sigh.....
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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linky123
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posted
The cold Ohio weather might be preferable to a toxic/chemical waste dump.
Just sayin'
-------------------- 'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.' Matthew 11:28 Posts: 2607 | From Hooterville | Registered: Apr 2009
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Keebler
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posted
- Trying to stick to just the facts and what would make sense in light of how firmly he's stated his position regarding the air - over years, really. Nothing here is very new besides the new volatile twist.
There are no excuses, as I see it. It's who he has been for years. He has no emotional desire to make any change, even though you've voiced deep anguish from the way the toxic air clobbers you.
You're in Texas, it can't be that cold in the garage! 58 degrees today. Most hobbyists have specialty heaters and ventilations systems in their workspace.
He could do that if he wanted to but show no interest in finding a method that works for you both. This is just who he is.
The oiled wood in the brand new kitchen oven is certainly an eye opener if one was even needed after the history of this kind of thing, though.
But the point is that he is not crazy nor out of his mind due to some illness. This is mean. It's a pattern of abuse. It's with intent, fully.
This is who he is. Repeatedly, he has conducted various chemical offenses to your air space (hence, to you) and told you he intends to continue.
He's shown you who he is and proclaimed in strong word and action his priorities.
You've have various posts about chemicals in the back bedroom. This is not the first project to fume you out.
You have asked him repeatedly. He has voiced the fact he does not care and will not alter his chemical ways. Is this the kind of person you want to live with ? He's fully declared his no-change intent.
It is true. You either live with this or you move out. But I'd sure get quiet legal counsel first.
Today, I'd actually want to talk to the non-emergency folks at your local fire department, neighborhood station. Seriously. Keep it not a partner riff but a very real science / hazard potential question of inquiry.
And / or for today, there must be some very nice hotels not too far a drive where you would feel much better. Think pool, spa, star chef, massage.
He is putting you at risk of fire and chemical hazard. He's told you to get out. There are many ways you can go somewhere else that would be both more inviting and healthful to you. And more enjoyable.
Normally, as he is the abuser here, it's he who should be moving out but the toxic residue in the walls, floors, furnishings will do you no good. Although you could work on that. I sure would want to be around if that oven gets turned on, after it heats up a while with any tung oil residue left to do it's magic.
But as the air is bad right now, you have to make a mad dash out of there.
I'd be sure to take / keep key papers & documents with you.
And, oh, since this was his suggestion (he told you to go somewhere else) due to his making an unsafe environment in your home, be sure to use his bank card, not your joint one. Make sure they process your stay as you arrive.
I hope you will be able to see this clearly, in facts . . . and leave emotion out of it for the moment. These immediate facts matter to your very physical safety right now.
Please wake up somewhere where you will smell only the coffee! But to the bigger picture, this is not really at all about chemicals. But, as this method of warfare has been going on for years, seems the tung oiled wood in the oven is just a new tool du jour with the ole trick of fuming you out now from the back room as the trump card.
Don't go to the place that "this is not good for him, either" because - while that is so very true and he seems to just not care - that is not what this is about, either. It's just not his kryptonite but he knows fully well that it is yours.
The issue is that he fully aware of how it adversely affects you, you have posed several good methods to mitigate the situation.
Still, he repeatedly creates a toxic air space for you, in your home. The potential of fire / explosion, though, is now in your face.
Tung oiled wood drying in an kitchen oven. Certainly a wake up call. Even just the heat from an electric stove can create an explosion with the fumes.
Do you happen to have a gas stove top? Or a gas hot water heater? A gas fire place?
If so, a pilot light (usually not visible up front) is always an "open flame" - fumes from volatile oils can take some strange paths and go Ka-Boom.
Same from volatile oils from any room, they could find an air current right to those when the door is opened. If you have vents, that can travel right through the vents, even if they are closed off. They never really close all the way.
Still, as you voice the ill effects on yourself, he shows no interest in listening or changing. Again, he could not be much clearer. This has been his stance for a long time. And yours is to keep hoping he'll change. He will not. You can.
While I have a hard time writing, editing, being concise . . . that's part of why there is so much -- uh, saying stuff over and over . . . but it's also to try to make some kind of message get through. You can take action for your own health. -
[ 01-31-2015, 08:37 PM: Message edited by: Keebler ]
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
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posted
- As you deal with MCS, the folks at these places should have some good ideas for you and be able to answer some questions about your specifics.
Temporary MCS-safe lodging information, too. Right there in your own town. -
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LisaK
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posted
maybe he watns to die???
my husband does similar things. his lyme brain stupidity I htink, maybe your spouses too??
my dad has done some doozies too. one time started a fire by mixing paint stripper with amonia or something.
I would open all windeos an d crank the heat whenever he does something stinky@!!! if he complains, parrot back to him what he says to you. maybe it will sink in.
I was gonna say to put oven on clean too, but there is agood point made- if some oils/chem got on coils it could ignite. so check with someone about that, yes, then if it's ok put on clean and go out fo r a while and tell him if he does that again in the oven or anything etc, that you are leaving him. of course you may have to live with those results if he is doing this to drive you out anyway!
-------------------- Be thankful in all things- even difficult times and sickness and trials - because there is something GOOD to be seen Posts: 3558 | From Eastern USA | Registered: Jul 2013
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Keebler
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posted
- While my immediate concern is with any substances that could be coating the oven interior from the tung oil as it warmed up & create a dangerous reaction . . .
Somewhere in the "coping with MCS" materials over the years I found out what I wish I had known before the self-cleaning oven feature clobbered me years ago:
Those with MCS should not use their oven-clean option even under normal circumstances because the oven coils & interior are coated with some kind of finish. When the oven heats up to the very high temps for cleaner, that off-gases.
Even with windows open, that's a bunch of stuff for someone with MCS to manage . . . and it does not just disappear. Call the MCS folks who can better advise on this. I can't recall where I read that but I do recall having been around during such a cleaning, even with windows opened, it's rather noxious.
And, really, while is it is better to not be in the house during such time due to the off-gassing, it's also not good to leave the house with the oven set on the highest setting there is. We should be near by to keep an eye on it in case the settings malfunction.
While straying a bit from the matter at hand, it's never a waste of time to consider fire safety.
A multi-purpose (rated for all the possibilities) fire extinguisher should be in all kitchens, by the way. And check the gauge the 1st of each month to be sure it's holding its charge.
Turn it upside down and gently shake it all about at least once a month and before using (if time) as the contents can settle and not be as effective when sprayed.
Spray at the base of any fire - that's the only way to block the flame's fuel, not at top of the flames (unless the flame tips are near a person, of course).
I only learned this a few years ago, thanks to a lesson from a local fire crew when they were called to my apt. when fire shot through a wall socket from defective wiring. -
[ 02-02-2015, 01:09 PM: Message edited by: Keebler ]
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lpkayak
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posted
But lisa your husband knows he has lyme, right? This guy doesnt. Im not sure if he understands randi has lyme
My life is physically hard alone...but at least i can call the shots
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
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Keebler
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posted
- Even someone with illness would be expected to behave better. There is nothing in the many postings / accounts of his behavior that indicate at all that he might have lyme or any illness, actually. No excuses.
In general,
It's important that rude & bad behavior not be assumed to be because of illness. It is easier to think that, so that it does not hurt so much? Does it keep us from doing what we should do in the face of being treated badly?
Some folks just know they get a free pass because their voices are louder or they have more energy (or money or power of some kind) to be persistent in their bad behavior. And those who are ill are often just too tired and muddled to effectively resolve the patterns.
It's not a rare dynamic, actually. Fairly common. Sadly.
Some of us got a heavier dose of empathy than others and some of us, due to our illness, have developed a stronger idea of how a nice person should treat another nice person.
But, that's just not the way many people see it. Sadly. -
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LisaK
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yes Kayak, my hubby knows, but he tries to ignore it all. he is "tired" of lyme and has a very low threshold for following any sort of rules about liviing. he still hunts and lets dog go under bushes and trees. this is how she got ticks on new years day!
and most people don't know they have it anyway.
I think everyone has it. I dn't agree Keebler. I think most people that are acting irrationally are held up inthe brain by some kind of bug or whatever there. just what I believe, so no one else has to believe me.
in my husband's case he deffinitly is controlled by some of this. very obvious. TO ME, but to others he might just appear , well, stupid or a "guy" or an Italian, or whatever you wanna label it as.
but keebler is right, everyone deserves to be treated nicely and with respect and politeness.
-------------------- Be thankful in all things- even difficult times and sickness and trials - because there is something GOOD to be seen Posts: 3558 | From Eastern USA | Registered: Jul 2013
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How about just packing your bags and staying in a motel for a few days the next time he does something?
Just leave. Don't tell him when or IF you are going to return. Let him wonder.
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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lpkayak
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I think almost everyone has lyme too
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
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beaches
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LT if she leaves she should consult an atty beforehand. And actually randibear, it's high time you speak to a lawyer IMO.
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linky123
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Ipkayak, and Lisa, I agree. I think most of us have been exposed.
It just depends on the load and how our immune system responds.
-------------------- 'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.' Matthew 11:28 Posts: 2607 | From Hooterville | Registered: Apr 2009
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I was thinking that going away for a few days might wake him up.
He thinks she won't ever leave.
But yes, consulting a lawyer would be a good move.
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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Keebler
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- When we allow others to treat us a certain way, they learn that we will accept it. -
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