Topic: Different look at people since lyme and company
kam
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 3410
posted
I know there is they just don't get factor.
But, I also have noticed I see people differently since lyme and company.
Like my mom who came to see me when I was sick.
I was laying on the couch watching TV as that is all I could do. I had just moved into a new place and had not been able to unpack.
Her help was kind of funny if it wasn't so sad.
Mom: why haven't you hung your pictures?
Me: because I have been too sick
Mom well, can I have them?
MOm: If you are going to just lay around watching tV why don't you get out of our sight and go lay in your bed (no TV in bedroom)
Me: I do not recall what I responded to that one but do recall they left for a few hours.
It is sad when family is like this but they were always like this and I just didn't see it before.
Same with other people with lyme and without lyme.
Posts: 15927 | From Became too sick to work or do household chores in 2001. | Registered: Dec 2002
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kam
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 3410
posted
I have learned to look out for my health a bi tbetter than I did before i got sick. I still have times when It ry and be normal when people are around and pay for it and kind of resent them for it.
So still learning.
Teh biggest issue now is being around people. They need to talk. I can only take in a word here and there.
And I do pay for it later.
But, I do get angry when they choose to use their words in a belittering, judgemental or attacking me kind of way.
I have just learned to stay away from them. It is difficult enough living with a chronic illness.
Posts: 15927 | From Became too sick to work or do household chores in 2001. | Registered: Dec 2002
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posted
My favorite is "You look great today!" My response is usually "If only I felt as good as I look" (or sometimes a bit nastier, depending on my mood.)
Actually, that's a lot better than what Kam's mom said to her. A lyme friend and I were tallying all the friends and family we'd lost since getting sick. The list was long.
-------------------- no bite, fatigue for 30 yrs diag Feb '13 (maybe) homebound w/ fatigue Dec '11 Posts: 14 | From W Mass | Registered: Mar 2015
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momindeep
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7618
posted
I know I look at doctors and the mainstream medical "club" way differently now...I gave up trying years ago to explain lyme to ANYONE.
I feel sorry for you Kam...mom's are supposed to have your back no matter what...when parents, of all people, lack basic compassion...it must be devastating.
Posts: 1512 | From Glenwood City WI | Registered: Jul 2005
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MannaMe
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posted
My hubby will sometimes say "If I looked the way I feel, I'd scare you!" When he gets the "you look good" comment.
Posts: 2251 | From USA | Registered: Aug 2011
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BoxerMom
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lpkayak
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5230
posted
Yes...i like that manna...tell him we said so!
Oh kam...i know. The interaction with ppl is so hard. Sometimes i can do a project....paperwork or cleaning or organizing at my own speed...slow and steady...for 30,40, even 50 min....
But i could never talk to ppl or really even one person. You never know what they will say and how to figure out how to answer
As time goes on i see my self kind of getting paralyzed when someone says something or asks a question. Esp when they say something nasty
Im so looking forward to seeing all my kids the beginning of april...but i am also terrified
When i see other ppl i often think...well they have lyme and dont know it and dont wnt to know it...and probably will never know
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
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MannaMe
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posted
I told him what you said - he laughed - then sighed.
Posts: 2251 | From USA | Registered: Aug 2011
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kam
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 3410
posted
your comments put a smile on m y face and gave me peace...for now Posts: 15927 | From Became too sick to work or do household chores in 2001. | Registered: Dec 2002
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LisaK
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 41384
posted
kam, yes, I see people as they really are now too.
I have a large extended family and the true colors really come out when someone is sick, plus it gives the sick person a hightened awareness of what's around them.
it's like if everyone at a party starts drinking and you don't. you notice how they start to slur, or become unstable.... it's kind of like that for me. I pick up way more now on their hurtful sarcasm, or their total blindness to others' feelings, etc.
sometimes I catch myself thinking I'd like for THEM to get really sick so they know how it is! but, of course I don't want them sick.
I just wish they would give a darn and educate themselves. people should try and wear other people's shoes. it is tough, but not as tough as the real person wearing them!
I find comfort in knowing that there are others like me- on here, and somewhere out there.
-------------------- Be thankful in all things- even difficult times and sickness and trials - because there is something GOOD to be seen Posts: 3558 | From Eastern USA | Registered: Jul 2013
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posted
Kam, you're very good at imagining places to go to, right?
Here's an idea for you: to imagine your ideal family, what they would be like, how they would talk to you, how you would converse with them, etc. You can either go with your first impulses or wait to see what comes up for you as ideal.
It's to give you an emotional break inside - you'll probably find it a relief to be with your imaginary family when you choose to. Your original family sounds rude beyond belief.
Posts: 13116 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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kam
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 3410
posted
Robin...good idea...i had a taste of a kind family with a lady who started helping me where i use to live.
To this day I am in awe of them. I slept at their house before the drive here.
It felt like heaven to me. The stars were so bright when we went outside to leave before dawn.
The husband had made breakfast for us.
All were treated with kindness and respect. They live on a ranch that their parents had built.
Posts: 15927 | From Became too sick to work or do household chores in 2001. | Registered: Dec 2002
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kam
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 3410
posted
I was invited back once I was well enough. They said they would drive me around the ranch so I could take a tour.
I would love to do that. But, I do not even know if they are still alive at this point or how they are doing. I know they are getting up there in years and have out lived the norm.
Posts: 15927 | From Became too sick to work or do household chores in 2001. | Registered: Dec 2002
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kam
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 3410
posted
Another thing I have noticed is I need to feel safe when around a person...more so than when I was well.
Some people I am around I have noticed I have the need to take care of them which drains me...nothing to do with them as a person
There are just a lot of people living at the complex I live in who are old or disabled who need help.
If someone drives me to a doctor's office, I have high anxiety until I know them a bit better.
Some I am fine with and have a feeling of saftey if something were to go wrong.
Posts: 15927 | From Became too sick to work or do household chores in 2001. | Registered: Dec 2002
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linky123
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 19974
posted
I have never understood why being sick is so offensive to people, esp. family.
It does make us look at people differently because we know we can't trust anyone.
Sad.
-------------------- 'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.' Matthew 11:28 Posts: 2607 | From Hooterville | Registered: Apr 2009
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MannaMe
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 33330
posted
I can't figure out why some people would rather say we have a mental problem than accept that we have Lyme and co's.
Especially people who should know us. I find we tend to simply avoid them as much as possible because you cannot explain anything to them that they hear.
"having ears, but hear not and having eyes that see not" or however that verse goes.
Posts: 2251 | From USA | Registered: Aug 2011
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