Topic: Strange neighbor lady coming after me with a camera cell phone.
MADDOG
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 18
posted
Hi Gang Today I was mowing my grass out front. The lady next door came walking towards me.
I thought she wanted to talk about the fire and smoke problem we had and patch things up.
Instead she headed right for me taking my picture with her cell phone.
What a crazy woman!!
I bet she thinks she can send my picture to SS and get my SS stopped because I was mowing.
I did not mow grass for a living.
MADDOG
MADDOG
Posts: 3997 | From Ohio | Registered: Oct 2000
| IP: Logged |
MADDOG
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 18
posted
So should I report it to the police!
MADDOG
Posts: 3997 | From Ohio | Registered: Oct 2000
| IP: Logged |
Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- No. Do not report it to the police, or at least not right now. However, what I would do is:
Go over to her house and - gently, and genuinely inquisitively, share that you notice her taking your photo and you just wondered if she might have just started a photography class or something.
Or maybe she wanted a picture of the mower to suggest to a friend?
that would open the door to say if it is especially easy, do mention that "this model is the only one I found that will work for my . . . wrists, etc. " - or "this one requires far less push so that helps minimize the after shocks my body usually faces from this."
State the fact as would be in your case if you are comfortable with that but, do not - do not - say this is a way as to solicit any kind of response from her. You are not trying to convince her. Do not look or wait for that, just state it clean and move on.
Do not explain or defend but - just in case it's innocent give her an "out" but also then if she is too nosey, at least lay out a tiny breadcrumb so her heart may be open to understand this would not mean you could go apply for a construction job.
Still, don't land on that subject. You might mention - in general, passing conversation something about that machine being kind (or not) to your body but do not use the word "disability" or any symptoms or any diagnosis. Keep it light, quick.
First, though, backing up, this link is just a start, you need to find out the law about such things first. Then, if it's not legal, share that as you would someone in a photo class that you might be taking / teaching. So that she is aware.
You might ask her to delete it as you really don't want your photo taken, for whatever reasons. Shy, privacy, your house or street address showing, etc.
but mostly, even if "legal" (which I question) it's not polite.
Share that you have a friend who did not know this. (myself) when I took a photo class years ago, I was snapping pix of cute kids at the zoo. Oops. I was clueless (it was decades ago and the security concerns were not huge then). I learned but made one mom nervous. My instructor should have guided us on this prior to the class visit to the zoo.
Don't be nervous about her being a SSD "informant" though as you have to mow the grass. That does not mean you can mow others' lawns or do it for a living. Just trust in the fact you have always been honest about your symptoms and that, if ever questioned, you will have the chance to explain all the variables - and the payback that usually comes from such task.
Do not stoop to her level that has you nervous. If that is her motive, do not allow yourself to be shaken. Walk tall (figuratively) and don't let her into your psyche.
Do NOT, Do NOT mention SSD to your neighbor for any reason at all. If you have in the past, just don't again. And if you get the sense there is ill intention with that neighbor, draw your boundaries. -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
| IP: Logged |
Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- Just a start. You might call your state Bar Association and ask if they have some kind of guidelines for this. Or call your closest law school and ask for a community clinic liason of sorts.
Street Photography and the Law: 7 things you need to know
by Sarah Wilkerson - Sept. 26, 2012
. . .
4. Just because a property is open to the public doesn’t make it public property.
. . .
6. Concerned parties have the right to approach you and inquire about your activity. . . .
[remember this article is aimed at the photographer so you would be the "concerned party" if the subject of someone's photo] -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
| IP: Logged |
Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- Oh . . . you might lighten the atmosphere by opening with "just want to be sure I'm not going to appear on some 'Fashion Don't' candid photo blog. I've seen some of those and they can be really rough!" -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
Hope all will be OK .. stupid person!! You are right .. they are crazy!
--
Very good point ... Do not tell people you are on disability.
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96223 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
| IP: Logged |
poppy
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5355
posted
Was she on your property when she did this?
Even if not, might this be a situation of invasion of privacy. Betting this woman hasn't a clue about what is legal and what is not.
Of course, if you can deal with this in a friendly way, that would be the best route, before bringing up definitely unfriendly conversation about invasion of privacy.
Posts: 2888 | From USA | Registered: Mar 2004
| IP: Logged |
MADDOG
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 18
posted
I yelled at them after they built a fire out of green wood in a 40 mph gust storm blowing it on my house.
And the smoke came in and made me get a motel for the night.
That was 17 months ago,I went over and apologized for yelling at them two weeks after that happened.
He kicked me off his place and said do not ever speak to us again.
I said fine and never have spoken a word to them again.
I am quiet ,I have no wild parties,I make no noise after 8 at night. I build no smokey fires, play no loud music.I don't get drunk and yell and laugh all night.
They are a couple of psychopaths !!!
MADDOG
Posts: 3997 | From Ohio | Registered: Oct 2000
| IP: Logged |
MADDOG
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 18
posted
She did not cross the property line.
They do not beleve in laws.
That night they broke tons of fire laws.
EPA law, size of fire ring they are 3 feet over size.6 foot fire ring.
EPA law, hight of wood stack they were way over 2 feet.
Association rules no fires when it is windy.
EPA law, wood must be cured fire wood not just cut green stuff and yard trash.
If the fire ring is over 3 feet you must have a special permit,it has to be 1000 feet from a building,you must put it out after 3 hours.And it cannot be over 3 feet fire ring in a town.
MADDOG
Posts: 3997 | From Ohio | Registered: Oct 2000
| IP: Logged |
sammy
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 13952
posted
Wow, I'm at a loss for words. That woman is truly crazy! So sorry you have to deal with her.
Posts: 5237 | From here | Registered: Nov 2007
| IP: Logged |
Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- It does not matter that she was not on your property if she takes a photo of you on your property. That can still be invasion of privacy.
And there is the question of who owns your own image. As a private person on your own property, you do. Were you to be a celebrity, even on your own property, you would (but not in pubic if a celebrity, sadly).
Hope you can connect with someone on the law - or find a very clear set of guidelines for photo courtesy.
Print out the law / guideline and hand to her so she has that in writing. Hopefully, if you can connect to some legal counsel on this, they will have a clear suggestion for you.
While she does seem to have questionable behavior and motives, clear thinking may not be with her (for whatever reason) the more you can treat her as normal and give her some kind of "out" explanation the better chance you have of getting her to delete your photo.
While your judgment of her behavior may be spot on, try to drop all judgment so you can "meet her where she is at" so to speak.
You have to think like her, how is it she thinks this is okay? Really, her line of thinking, etc. in order to connect. If you can connect, you may have a better chance of her deleting the photo & not snapping your photo again out of the blue. That's just such an invasive thing.
But do try to think of some cordial if quirky way to approach her it once you have some legal or photographer courtesy page for her. There is a fine line between trying to connect, being able to really have your heart in it - and manipulation. And people can smell manipulation so this may take some prep time.
Meeting her on a level like that may not be possible and you may need to just stick to the facts - give her a written page of the law or guidelines and tell her that photo is not for public property in anyone's phone system, to delete it.
Good luck.
[ 11-17-2015, 12:52 PM: Message edited by: Keebler ]
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
| IP: Logged |
poppy
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5355
posted
Or else take a picture of them when they are building smoky illegal fires, or whatever.
Posts: 2888 | From USA | Registered: Mar 2004
| IP: Logged |
Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
You could also start dressing as a different space alien - or old time Hollywood star - the next time you tend to yard work. If you must don a mask, do it in style!
While this could backfire big time regarding your standing the neighborhood with others, it would be fun and push her away at the same time. -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
| IP: Logged |
MADDOG
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 18
posted
I wonder if this is harassing the disabled?
MADDOG
Posts: 3997 | From Ohio | Registered: Oct 2000
| IP: Logged |
Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- You don't need to bring in the disability [best to keep that totally out of the conversation] --
- it's harassing anyone, period. But to find your local law would be a great help.
There is something about "reasonable expectation of privacy" in most laws addressing this. You might just call your local city hall and start there with your inquiry.
Perhaps your local newspaper or a journalism instruction at the nearest high school or college, too, if you hesitate calling the bar association (but they are the best to ask first - and can likely point you right to the law).
After finding the law (which may or may not cover this situation), then find a good source for basic common courtesy guidelines for photographers.
Arm yourself with a couple good sources, a hard copy paper list that spells it out.
[ 11-17-2015, 09:00 PM: Message edited by: Keebler ]
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
i would try and not add any fuel to the fire. yes pun intended.
Crazy is stressful and you do not need anymore stress.
Posts: 559 | From Lyme Land | Registered: Oct 2015
| IP: Logged |
poppy
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5355
posted
I agree with Kam/rosie. My suggestion to photograph them might fall into the category of adding fuel to the fire.
It seems very suspicious to me that they would photograph you mowing the lawn. This suggests they know you are on disability and they think this activity might be used against you. Whether it does or not, meant to intimidate you. But if they do anything about this, then it would be good if you had taken photos of their bonfire. Evidence that they had a grudge against you.
I'm sure you know the disability rules, what you can and can't do.
Posts: 2888 | From USA | Registered: Mar 2004
| IP: Logged |
Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- While it is highly suspect that she was in such a rush to snap a pix of you in action . . . you can keep that to yourself. If you bring that up with her - it could light a fire to this and she will think you are trying to hide something or fake something.
Just play coy with that and use the existing law - or courtesy photo guidelines - to be very clear that taking candid photos of ANYONE is just wrong. I feel very strongly that if you even hint at disability in this it will just give her a sense of false righteousness and misjudgment.
What she will think: that you did not want a photo as it may uncover your Superhuman strength and uncover your "game"
But you cannot be sure of that, anyway . . . maybe the sound of the mower was too much for her or some other odd reason. But if she does think you are Super Human in disguise, do not even go there - just don't give her any fuel for her script.
Keep to the fact that ANY person would find this unacceptable. -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
| IP: Logged |
MADDOG
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 18
posted
I am trying to find an ALF the alien mask.
If she tries it again I want to put it on and yell ,here Kitty Kitty Kitty.
Any alien mask to tuck in my back pocket for the next time.
I love the ones with the big eyes.
Rosie7 you are probably right .
My Grandpa had an old saying!! If you stir poop it smells a lot worse!!!
MADDOG
Posts: 3997 | From Ohio | Registered: Oct 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
That's good, Maddog - fighting back with humor is a good way to go and lets her know you're on to her. If you wear a cat or dog mask, you could miaow or bark, loudly!
Posts: 13117 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
| IP: Logged |
Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- Fun. Fun. Fun. Gotta have some fun with this, I say!
Actually, if there is anyway to diffuse the situation, it may well be by acting like a clown, invite her to laugh with you (I know . . . I know . . . still, if she can laugh with you, it might just turn this around). -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
I think a mask is a really good idea .. but I suspect she won't try it again.
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96223 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
| IP: Logged |
LisaK
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 41384
posted
yes, LOTS of people are nuts!!!!!arggggg
(I had a recent run in with a crazy woman too)
I am wondering Maddog.... they know you werent' happy wiht fire, BUT MAYBE another neighbor reported them and they think it was you because you were the person that told them to their face?!
It could be possible.
that might explain the lingering hostility. but then again, you may never know the real reason. some people take anything out on anyone. it could be that she suffers from a disease or that a loved one died or she hates her boss or her mother-in-law....
I see this as a nothing you can do about it scenario.
another thing is she may be complaining about you on facebook or something and is going to post her recording on there. yes, people do that. not a happy feeling , I know, but this is the crazy world we live in.
I hope it smooths out soon. I know how this can make you go crazy just thinking about it. make sure you document everything they do from nnow on that might be considered harassment.
-------------------- Be thankful in all things- even difficult times and sickness and trials - because there is something GOOD to be seen Posts: 3558 | From Eastern USA | Registered: Jul 2013
| IP: Logged |
WPinVA
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 33581
posted
Unfortunately, I think what she is doing is probably legal (really really yucky though). But there may be restrictions on what she can do with the image.
Did you say you are in a community or neighborhood association? Would they be any help? Because this is really creepy, unneighborly behavior!
Posts: 1737 | From Virginia | Registered: Aug 2011
| IP: Logged |
The Lyme Disease Network is a non-profit organization funded by individual donations. If you would like to support the Network and the LymeNet system of Web services, please send your donations to:
The
Lyme Disease Network of New Jersey 907 Pebble Creek Court,
Pennington,
NJ08534USA http://www.lymenet.org/
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
Printer-friendly view of this topic