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» LymeNet Flash » Questions and Discussion » General Support » Good Words For Maddog

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Author Topic: Good Words For Maddog
Tincup
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
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Maddog is going thru a ruff patch. Thought maybe we could take a moment to send him some love and happiness.

(Wish RoadRunner were still here. He had the BEST jokes ever. I sure do miss him!)

And this is a question for Maddog. Maybe he knows?

Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings?

It’s hardly ever for them.

[lol]

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Posts: 20353 | From The Moon | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Tincup
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A sign said, “Do not allow your dog to chase, 
injure, or worry wildlife.”

How is a dog going to “worry” wildlife? Run up to a bird: “Hey, I think you’ve got something on your beak. It could be a tumor.”

[lol]

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hiker53
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Joke: What's the difference between a catfish and an infectious disease doctor?

One is a scum sucking slime eating bottom dwelling
scavenger and the other is a fish. [spinning smile]

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Hiker53

"God is light. In Him there is no
darkness." 1John 1:5
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TF
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Question: What is the difference between a doctor and God?

Answer: God knows He is not a doctor.
Posts: 9931 | From Maryland | Registered: Dec 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Tincup
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No, No you two! Don't make me laugh out loud just before trying to go to sleep!

Got me goofy and giggling now. Thanks!

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MADDOG
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OH crap, you all got me laughing!!!!!

THANKS so much!!!!!!!!!!

One day I am crying over loosing a reptile friend.

My iguana pet and friend of 13 to 14 years.Peaches

The next day i am celebrating catching a reptile to eat.

A snapping turtle.

Am I strange or what????

I miss my Iguana !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It is so strange not having her here.

I go over to the empty cage to talk to her or just see her and she is not there.

I did not know I did that so much.

It is like trying to turn on the light switch when the power is off.You didn't know you did that so much.

It seems so strange.

MADDOG
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Tincup
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Glad you were able to laugh! Just sent you an email. Didn't know you'd seen this post.

And yes, you are strange. BUT, you are in luck. Here at LymeNet we try to fix strange things!

My suggestion would be take the snapping turtle- if you haven't eaten it yet- and put it in the empty cage.

Then every time you go over there to talk sweetly to Peaches because you miss your dear iguana, you'll get a nasty hiss and a hateful snap instead.

That ought to make the turtle soup taste much better in a week or so, and break you of your habit of wandering over there too!

Hey- strange people get strange responses! Like it or not!

[group hug]

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Tincup
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Ok. Here's another one... or two... or six...

Why did the dog cross the road?
To get to the "barking" lot!

What do you get if you cross a gold dog with a telephone?
A golden receiver!

How is a dog and a marine biologist alike?
One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.

What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog?
A dog that can lick you from the other side of the road!

What happened to the dog that swallowed a firefly?
It barked with de-light!

What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A collie-flower!

Why didn't the dog speak to his foot?
Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw!

What is a dog's favorite food?
Anything that is on your plate.

[lol]

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Tincup
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What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic?
His bark was much worse than it's bite!

Why do all dogs go to Heaven?
Because Michael Vick won't be going there.

[lol]

--------------------
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Tincup
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Two buddies were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the other had a Chihuahua.

As they sauntered down the street, the guy with Doberman said to his friend, "Let's go over to that bar and get something to drink."

The guy with the Chihuahua said, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."

The one with the Doberman said, "Just follow my lead." They walked over to the bar and the guy with the Doberman puts on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in.

The bouncer at the door said, "Sorry, Mac, no pets allowed." The man with the Doberman said, "You don't understand. This is my Seeing-Eye dog."

The bouncer said, "A Doberman pinscher?" The man said, "Yes, they're using them now. They're very good." The bouncer said, "Come on in."

The buddy with the Chihuahua figured what the heck, so he put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in. He knew his would be more unbelievable.

Once again the bouncer said, "Sorry, pal, no pets allowed." The man with the Chihuahua said, "You don't understand. This is my Seeing-Eye dog."

The bouncer said, "A Chihuahua?" The man with the Chihuahua said, "A Chihuahua? They gave me a fricking Chihuahua?"

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me
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https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=OZmDdo8K-7o

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Just sharing my experiences, opinions, and what I've read and learned. Not medical advice.
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TxCoord
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What do you name a cow who's legs are shorter on one side?

Ileen.

If you have a table full of odds and ends, and one falls off, which was it, an "odd" or an "end"?

What do you name a cow that has no feet?

Ground Beef.

How many Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

None! They ain't afraid for the dark!

(someone take the keyboard away from TX)

I crossed a kangaroo with a sheep, know what I got?

A woolly jumper with big pockets.

(seriously, take the keyboard away!!!

"Mama I'm tired of running in circles!"
"Be quiet or I'll nail your other shoe to the floor."

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I have a good time wherever I go!
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TxCoord
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Why do ducks have flat feet?
To put out forest fires.

What did Tarzan say when he saw dozens of elephants wearing sunglasses charging through the jungle?

Nothing, he did recognize them.

Why do elephants have flat feet?
To stomp out flaming ducks.

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I have a good time wherever I go!
Posts: 665 | From Lost Wages, NV | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Tincup
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Laughing too hard on your first set to respond! Laughing now too!

[lol]

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Lymetoo
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Love the ducky ones! [Big Grin]

--------------------
--Lymetutu--
Opinions, not medical advice!
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MADDOG
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Good ones everyone Thanks!!

TC that explains my sisters dash hound ,it can lick your chin from 2 feet away. It is part frog!

TX the duck jokes are just to funny!!

I am just a little bit looking for a Red Ackie.

I am not jumping into any thing this soon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0x2IZACO5Io

MADDOG
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TxCoord
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Just for you Maddog

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bohI-J9pe4c

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I have a good time wherever I go!
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TxCoord
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Keepin' you in mind!

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I have a good time wherever I go!
Posts: 665 | From Lost Wages, NV | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
just don
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Why not buy a MAD DOG and see if you can tame him??

My grandson has some special dryland (I think desert)turtles,,,They make a great pet.

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just don
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me
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True story that happened today:

You know you have Lyme Disease when the billboard at Mc Donald's reads, "Try our new Lone Star Stack!"

Guess what I literally "read" at first?

"Try our new Lone Star Tick!"

You know, take away the "s" in "stack" and replace the "a" with an "i." I can totally see how that happened, right? Geez. Wow.

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Just sharing my experiences, opinions, and what I've read and learned. Not medical advice.
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