I took a shower, (yeah) but I am done for the day. I am so tired. My head hurts. I can barely type this.
I just dont want to do this anymore. I know I get like this every once in a while. I take cymbalta. I know I am depressed but I am honest enough to know this is no life. Its not fair to my children. How do you live like this for so long.
Posted by ByronSBell 2007 (Member # 11496) on :
Lyme has caused me depression as well, some days I just wanna give up... whenever I get that way I always call a friend that has lyme and is doing well. I also research new treatments for lyme disease when I feel in the hole.
What helps me is to set out a list of things to do to help me beat the disease and write out in detail how I feel now and set a goal that is achievable in the future...
For example: I am doing Zithromax and little bit of flagyl here and there... now I am going to add in deep tissue massage to get the toxins out and I am going to start heat therapy (sauna/hot tub)when I get through this little hole I am in right now... Now I feel 55-75% functional, by the end of summer my goal is to be 70-85% functional, it's a stretch but can be achievable
Posted by EWT1638 (Member # 11315) on :
hi 'yourtroubl', we just do...I keep praying & I talk to others who understand. When I have some energy, I try to do something that I used to really enjoy (or laundry!). Also, doing something for someone else takes my mind of my problems, at least for awhile. Then I feel like I'm contributing to the world again, not just existing.
I have 3 active boys (10,12,15), they are sympathetic, but your right, "it's not 'fair'". They need us. If you have to be in bed, invite them to play a card game on the bed or a board game that doesn't require too much brain power (mine isn't working very well most days).
Watch a movie together. Surf the web with them for subjects they are interested in. My youngest likes turtles and English Country Houses!
I have suffered from severe depression all my life, only in the past 4 years have I really gotten a handle on it. But you have to keep going, you only have a short time with your children. And it is over sooner than you can imagine.
I hope this helps put it in perspective for you. Posted by Health (Member # 6034) on :
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[ 10. June 2007, 04:53 PM: Message edited by: Health ]
Posted by sixgoofykids (Member # 11141) on :
My husband told me it's my being that is important, not my doing.
Your kids need you to "be."
How do I go on? There's not much choice ... I do all I can to get healthy again!
I sauna, I exercise, I eat right, I take my meds, I take my supplements ... I do everything I can.
Some days it's hard ... when I can't do more, I go to bed.
Posted by Boomerang (Member # 7979) on :
I needed to read this thread today. Hubby said today he just doesn't think he's getting better.
I was so frustrated, I nearly burst into tears!
Some days you do just want to give up I guess. But we have to keep fighting.......
Posted by Health (Member # 6034) on :
Are you getting better?
Sometime I feel like this when I feel I am not making progress in this illness.
How are you with your LLMD? is he helping you? If not, maybe you can see another LLMD?
I read on Mathew Gross site, GET WELL, that is what is the key thing, without you well, you cannot do much, isnt that true?
So put aside what you can, and make getting well your priority, and if you have children, make sure they are pitching in, helping you get better.
if they were sick, you would be getting them well, would you not? get all the support you can, and make things as easy as you can for yourself.
Sit down, make some notes, and see what is going on? what NEEDS to be addressed to make this healing a heck of a lot easier, or just plain easier.
Sometimes the bach flower remedies are very good, I used them and am thinking to use them again. You can actually make up 5 if them, and take them. I have a local health store
that I tell to make up a remedy for me. I can pick 5 of the essences and they mix them up in water or something else. Here is a site, believe me, they worked for me, they got me out of a bad state, a dark black hole. Here is a site.
ALSO, you CANNOT just go on sometimes, things must be addressed to make the healing as easy as possible for you. You need to get well, and you wont feeling like this if things need to be addressed.
Whatever is on that platter of yours, and does not need to be there, try to get it off. I mean that, if you dont need to do something, dont do it, dont make yourself do things you cannot. If you cant make dinner, dont, get someone else to if you can.
I realized that I HAD to address things in my life, because I was so stressed out, and I could not take it, I addressed them, and I feel better.
Sometimes it can be herxing.
Hope this helps,
Trish
Posted by Greatcod (Member # 7002) on :
I remember reading ia Medical journal that depression is part of every chronic illness. Lyme tests our spirits, and sometimes it can just be overwhelming. My experience is that the dark mood lightens after a short period of time. Hang in there.
Posted by Health (Member # 6034) on :
I was thinking the other day in bed, how on earth our bodies can handle the herxing all the time.
I mean, it is like we are being beat up, over and over again, and the ones that have had it UNdiagnosed for years, some of these people can take a long time to heal.
over and over and oveer again, this healing, I know that feeling. It is not the depression,
it is what some of us have to go through to get well, I feel sometimes, I will die in my sleep, seriously, I mean, a body can take only so much.
When this happens, it is not depression, because I have gone into the healing feeling, lets do it, and then just having it go on and on, and
then other new symptoms can come up, and then you have to kill something else,
it is like, how much can a HUMAN take?
We all have a choice, wether we want to do this or not, and if we dont, then... that is our choice too.
Trish
Posted by Boomerang (Member # 7979) on :
I know, Trish. I can see that in my husband sometimes. He just looks like he wants to give up. And when he doesn't get better, I get that way too.
Not that I want to give up on him, but that I'm so frustrated that after 20 months of doing everything I know to do. His brain fog just won't go away.
Dr C assured me that he had seen many patients like my husband who got better.
I guess we're just at a low point right now.
Thanks for listening to my whining.
Posted by Health (Member # 6034) on :
Boomerang, that is good that your LLMD has seen others like your Husband, that alone is worth much.
Maybe you can then ask him, how long does it usually take then, to see his brain get better, if he has other patients like you or had that got better, then ask when the brain will get better.
My brain is getting worse, it started to get worse when I was put on Tetracyline.
I now am on Rifampin and actually about one week ago I thought, hmmmmmm I am SO motivated, but I was also so brain fogged, it was scary, I was worrying that I am loosing my brain,
I will know soon if this is good or bad.
One time, I was in such desparation,, I was lying in bed, about to loose my mind, the most horrid feelings in my mind I just could not go on, I was so tired of all this,
I thought I was on the brink of insanity, from on and on and on of this,I really did not know what to do, I thought I was going to pass the point of no return, and then become insane,
I was going insane at that moment, and I just prayed, and prayed and told God, which I actually had decided that I did not want him in my life anymore, but then at that moment,
I just said, you gotta take this from me GOD, you gotta take this out of my head, before I pass the point of no return here, you have to take this from me pleaaaaase, and I said, all this is gone from my head,
and it went, I had an empty head.
Moments like those take you for all your are worth, and leave you with nothing for a long time.
Trish
Posted by surg (Member # 6937) on :
You believe in yourself and have faith that it will get better. You ask the universe for help and when you get signs you listen to them and follow them.
Posted by tailz (Member # 10014) on :
I sent you a private message, but please get off the Cymbalta. Right after I stopped my psych meds, I finally tested positive for Lyme for the very first time.
I'm not sure about coinfections - I'm still testing negative - but that was evidence enough to me that those kinds of drugs suppress the immune system when you need it most. Please change your diet to only WHOLE foods.
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