Is anyone else dealing with this issue? I always thought I would have a baby but I'm 38, 39 in June, and starting to get very upset that this may not be possible for me. I know I should never give up but I can't stop worrying about it. Anyone else? BTW, it's not a fertility issue (that I know of), it's an issue of will I ever be healthy enough to do this
Posted by hatpianka (Member # 12244) on :
Hi there
Yes, I'm concerned about this. I'm 34, so I know that I have time, but time keeps on marching on and I'm worried about my health. I'm also not aware of any fertility issues, but my health needs to be better before we enter children into the picture.
Posted by tailz (Member # 10014) on :
Not to make light of your situation, but I'm 43 and had a hysterectomy. Given the fact that I was able to reverse menopause with treatment for Lyme, I now believe that one day I will be able to regenerate my uterus and left ovary and bear more children.
I wanted 3 kids when I got married - dropped it to 2 after a very painful delivery which my husband wasn't even there for - and then dropped it to only one when my husband didn't get excited about kids like I did and didn't help any.
So I'm 43 and have one daughter, and one day I vow to have more. Anything is possible, so do not allow doctors to put a cap on your child-bearing years. If I'm 43 and plan to get pregnant again with two-thirds of my reproductive organs missing, I'm sure you will one day, when you are well enough, have children, too.
Posted by Larkspur (Member # 5131) on :
thanks to both of you for your replies. Tailz - you give me hope. No one has "said" that I can't have kids (except my own mind), it's just now clear that I have at least a couple years of treatment left before I can think about having a child, and I've been so sad about this.
Posted by Aniek (Member # 5374) on :
I say that life has a way of working itself out. I'm 33 and engaged and know that I'm not healthy enough to have children in the next couple years. I hope to have my own children at some point, but I also know there are other options.
I would rather adopt then get pregnant if I think I might make my child sick. But I figure I can wait until it is that time to decide what the best option is.
However I have a child, it will be my child. The only real benefit I see of having my own child is that adoption has a lot of hoops to jump through. It will still be my child if that's the route I go.
Posted by not so sublime lyme (Member # 15185) on :
I had my three children without knowing I had chronic lyme.
I have a pretty strong disposition so even though I was having a lot of symptoms, (fatigue, joint pain, dizzyness,chest pain,etc..), I was told it was fibromyalgia, so I just kept going as best I could.
Looking back now, I realize a lot of my problems with my second pregnancy (twins) may have been lyme-related.
Over the next many years my symptoms increased and fatigue worsened, but I just always put my mom duties before other things and we've been okay.
I'm thrilled to finally be diagnosed and getting treatment and hope to be a fully energized mother at some point.
So, for those of you hoping to become moms, just hang in there for a little bit longer until you feel at least semi-normal and then go for it!
Don't let these bugs rob you of the joy of motherhood. Just make sure your energy reserves are there before you get started and that you have lots of support.
Posted by Tracy9 (Member # 7521) on :
This is the most painful part of my life.
I am blessed to have two children. I wanted more so desparately.
I have had five miscarriages, three of them at the very end of the first trimester, after seeing my daughters moving all around and waving and wiggling.
I dreamed of having a daughter my entire life. I picked out names when I was about 12. I have two sons.
I tried to adopt, but was denied because of the lyme disease. Another devastating loss after a year of working diligently with an adoption agency.
I tried fertility treatments for two years, and just got too sick and exhausted to go any further.
I wish I could say I will have another baby when i get better. Problem is, I am now 46. Time has run out. That is the saddest thing I will ever have to say.
I am devastated by this. I wish I could find a surrogate who will have a baby for me. I would do anything for another child, I am so sad to have had to let go of this dream.
It hurts to see my children growing and knowing it is the end.
This is, without a shadow of a doubt, the biggest loss I have had to Lyme Disease. I have been robbed of having another child.
I am sad, devastated, and still somehow hope for a miracle.
Posted by Larkspur (Member # 5131) on :
Tracy - I'm so sorry you have had those experiences. I can't beleive you were denied adoption b/c of Lyme dx - what grounds did they give? I would be very interested in hearing more about this b/c I know a lot of Lyme women feel adoption is a viable option for them.
I also have dreamed of having a little girl and have her name picked out too I have not completely given up (I have some years left in me) but it certainly is worrisome.
Posted by blinkie (Member # 14470) on :
Hi Tracy, I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles and not being able to have another child. My husband and I are going to start trying after my treatment but I have my fears that will will not be successful.
Can I ask why the adoption did not go through? Is that normal to be denied due to lyme disease? I would not mind adopting if we had to but now, maybe that dream is dashed as well?
blinkie
Posted by docjen (Member # 7510) on :
Larkspur...I feel like I could have written that note myself! I am 38 years old, closing in on 39. I have been in lyme treatment for over 3 years, and on so many drugs that a pregnancy is out of the question. I keep thinking, maybe by the fall I'll be well enough to try....then it's maybe by the summer I'll be well enough to try....and meanwhile the years march on, and I'm still sick. My husband is in his mid 40's, and really wants a baby, but has been so wonderfully supportive. I know that if I am able to get better and we have a baby, it will be wonderful. And if we don't, it will be OK. It would be nice, though!
Thanks for sharing your note!
Jen
Posted by Larkspur (Member # 5131) on :
I'm so glad I posted this because it helps to know that others have similar issues. Not that I would wish these issues on anyone, but I haven't had anyone in the same boat to talk to about it.
Some days everything feels impossible and some days things do seem possible
Posted by Robin61 (Member # 5470) on :
My heart goes out to all of you and i will keep you all in my prayers. I am now 46 as well and Lyme robbed me of another child. I adopted one child pre-lyme and had one pre-lyme and lost two post lyme and I know the pain that this causes. I have just prayed over and over again that if it is not meant for me to have another child that God would just take the desire away. I still wish i would have had the one's i lost but saddly i do believe the desire is starting to fade. I am now just focusing on what i have and trying to get my children well so they can lead normal well lives. As i said i will pray for you ladies I know exaclty the pain and wish everyone the best in their struggle with this....Robin in Houston
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I have not completely given up (I have some years left in me) but it certainly is worrisome.