i am with you...thank GOD I have a great family and they have been very understanding.
The bio-idential homore therapy (Progesterone) and the meds for neuropathy have helped some (neurontin and cymbalta), i still an a "little" (hahahahaha) difficult to live with '
I have noticed certain things tend to make it worse..bad pain esp. so i go get in tub or on heating pads and try to do something distracting (read, prayer, whatever). wish pain would get under control. feel like on enough meds to put a horse down and not touching the pain. hopefully appt with pain guy will bring good results..i pray
i know that i cant handle too much noise, distraction, lound, and can't multifunction at all!!! and that makes me very irritable
my poor kids, they know if mommy on phone do NOT ask anything, or if i am playing cards with them no one can talk if I am the dealer, etc.
oh, and yeah lots of brain involvement for me. docs told me at least 3 major areas affected and looks like may get stuck with some of it, was on steroids and immunosuppression for yrs. before got "real" diagnosis...so brain outlook is a little grim..but hopefull anyway!!
Posted by jlc (Member # 18061) on :
I am noticed I seem to flip alot easier. Yes, too much noise, especially whinning really puts me over the edge. I feel like raging lunitic. I scare my kids. They are little 2 and 5. I feel awful. I have never hurt them, but the fear of emotionally hurting them def. comes in to play. Don't get me wrong I fill this with lots of love too! My kids are happy, but I just wish I could handle myself better. Some times I can pull it off. The bad thing is I see me in them when they get flustrated too. Yikes...
Posted by Wimenin (Member # 15294) on :
To answer your Qs...yes. Lyme affects the brain/CNS, and therfore all the senses, emotions, motor skills, memory...basically, everything in the body. It disrupts, causes chaos, and makes everything function wrong, poorly, violently, etc... Be patient with your brain. It may take months, years, decades to be truly healed. So long as you can see signs of improvement over time, stick with it and forge ahead.
Posted by TerryK (Member # 8552) on :
I agree with others. Lyme and co-infections do cause irritability. Seems like most people who are chronically ill are somewhat cranky.
I found that sleep quality or lack of it made a big difference in my irritability level. Of course pain is also an issue but even severe pain did not affect me nearly as much as sleep quality.
Finding out that I had sleep apnea and getting treatment for that helped a LOT with irritability. Seems like a lot of lyme patients have sleep apnea so please get that checked. Irritability is a classic symptoms of sleep apnea.
I also sleep a lot better since I started treatment for methylation cycle issues. Specifically the active form of folic acid seems to help me stay asleep.
Terry
Posted by METALLlC BLUE (Member # 6628) on :
Absolutely. You become someone else.
Posted by Need Lots of Help (Member # 18603) on :
I cry, but people tell me that I always LOOK mad. They are scared to even talk to me often because I look so mad.
I do get aggravated with others quickly, and I have even said things to others when I felt like they weren't following the rules. Like the person who parked right in front of the store. I told them, that was ridiculous, they could walk. I am tired and if I can walk, they can too.
I know, it isn't my job to police people. I think the reason I get cranky so often is because I am so tired.
I really love people, and wish I had more time and energy to do the things I want. I really can only get done the things I HAVE to do.
Shalome
Posted by randibear (Member # 11290) on :
oh my, you should hear me when i'm driving. all that rage just comes out.
you can learn a lot of bad language from a marine and i apparently have learned a lot....
lucky no one is in the car with me...
Posted by clairenotes (Member # 10392) on :
Acupuncture helped me to stablize my emotions among other things. Here are some links to Traditional Chinese Medicine's (TCM) philosophy... Note that they associate liver imbalances with anger:
yes, i'm like the rest of your on irritations to noise, smells, lights/glare/reflection, etc.
Posted by lymielauren28 (Member # 13742) on :
Are you treating Bartonella?
I'm a MUCH nicer, calmer person after a few months on Zith. The first 4-6 weeks of treatment made me crazy though, and I mean crazy.
My rage and and crying spells were horrific, but after that my moods finally stabilized.
Lauren
Posted by Geneal (Member # 10375) on :
Whining is one of my biggest flares too.
For some reason both of my children do this.
Constantly.
It's like they know it is my magic button,
And they just sit back and wait for the fireworks to
Explode from my ears.
However, whining has always been a pet peeve of mine.
That and hearing someone chew their food.
Yuck!
My kids know that it irks me, yet they do it.
They also know that Mommy sometimes has a hard time
With things like that so when I say that I need 5 minutes alone,
They leave me alone.
Too much auditory stimulation can do me in too.
It is a balancing act.
Most times I win but sometimes my kids do.
Hugs,
Geneal
Posted by Radha (Member # 8464) on :
i cannot thank all of you enough for your honest
replies, its just nice to know i am not alone and
that its not my fault, but still i feel so guilty
when i talk and act in ways i know is wrong, like
always finding faults with loved ones, and always
ready to start an argument when i really have no
strength to be arguing with anyone! thanks again
for sharing, the big problem i have is i herx too
too strongly on any herb or abx so i am not on
any treatment, and i am only getting even worse.
Radha
Posted by Rambler (Member # 18794) on :
I have never felt so at home!
Thank you all for being here. The validation is literally life affirming for me. I am not alone.
It's so sad, of course, that we've become crazy people, but some of your replies are fantastic comedy, too.
Severe mood issues are what finally took me down-I don't know who the hell I'm going to be when I get up in the morning...
I try to let my loved ones know which hat I'm wearing at any given moment. God, can imagine living with that?
My world has gotten so much smaller. I've lost people as a result of my moods and I think some folks just freak out and run when they hear the word "disease".
It gets lonesome. I'm really glad all you hot headed, bad behaved people are out there- I really am.
Posted by Julie F. (Member # 15956) on :
I have mood swings and my patience wears thin pretty quickly. I feel like I'm either the nicest person in the world or the crabbiest--nothing in-between.
I think part of it is the bart, and part is being on all of these meds, which always seem to have mood/behavioral changes listed as possible side effects.
Also, I think the isolation I have experienced since becoming sick has just exacerbated my feelings. A lot of my friendships have withered since my illness. Luckily, I have a great family, but it makes me sad to think about the friends I have lost.
The worse I feel, the better my kids behave. Of course, when I'm feeling good they revert back to their squabbling, whining selves. That's become my barometer for how my recovery is going!
Posted by randibear (Member # 11290) on :
rambler and radha, glad i could contribute.
somebody said my posts always make them laugh....
being a down home country home apparently has it's advantages....LOL...
don't ever feel alone tho, because we've all been there.
you'll meet some wonderful, caring people on this board.
they help me to maintain some semblence of sanity...
Posted by lauirel (Member # 16640) on :
Bart was also the worst for us as well. Whew, what a house we had in the beginning of battling Bart!! Much better after abx pulse.
Posted by 2roads (Member # 4409) on :
Ugh.......
I'm on the list too.
I am not on meds anymore, and cannot say that pain is my anger source, because, although I have physical discomforts, I'm not really in pain.
BUT, I"M ANGRY!!!!!! I'm angry that my family and I got this disease. I am so mad.
Unfortunately, I feel like I just keep getting the short end of the stick, ex:just bought a home that was fully inspected, and cracks which were covered up are appearing out of nowhere and a structural engineer who just visited says I've got issues.
That's just one other thing. There just always seems to be a black cloud hanging over my head, and when I find someone to expound too (they recriprocate), I eventually loose them.
I am learning to say very little. Talk about lonely. My impression of everyday people has changed as well. People don't want to know people. "I'm doing just fine", is the correct answer. it's all so shallow. There also is no integrity in the workforce anymore. Very little is done without the almighty dollar speaking the loudest, whether morally right or wrong.
How can a person just drop dead in an emergency room for hours before someone even notices? ..or get run over and left to die while passerbys move along?
I'm sorry....I guess I need to go away and leave myself alone.
2roads
Posted by Rambler (Member # 18794) on :
2roads,
y'ain't alone! I swear, it's like hearing myself talk.
Lyme has been about loss in so many ways. You just gotta cry a river every now and then.
I don't have any fricken idea what I'll be left with when this is all over, but it's been one hell of a ride!!
It's very interesting to observe the differences in my mood and how I am able to interface with the rest of the world from one day to the next.
I went to the grocery store the other night and I realized a veil existed between me and all the other people in the store. It is a very lonesome feeling.
It's just a matter of learning how to be a nutball. No biggie....
I just gotta laugh.
Posted by 2roads (Member # 4409) on :
Yeah......it's like a stepford wife mentality except we aren't robots....it's just "the big coverup". I can just see you now in the grocery.....like I just saw myself 30 minutes ago.
I always run into somebody I know which really sucks, it is such a small town. It happened to be an ultrasound therapist who realised on appearance that my infertility status hadn't changed and she seemed surprised to see me so bubbly.
Your right, you gotta learn how to be a nutball. One half of me was walking around like the pope, and the other part of me just wanted to shout across the grocery that I have had more problems "since then", so I'll just have to revisit my infertility later.
With the coverup you're lonely and without it you are too.
Thanks for coming into my bubble for a moment. It's not always a happy space but its an honest, caring one.
Posted by randibear (Member # 11290) on :
William Shakespeare - All the world's a stage (from As You Like It 2/7)
All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players: They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts, His acts being seven ages. At first the infant, Mewling and puking in the nurse's arms. And then the whining school-boy, with his satchel And shining morning face, creeping like snail Unwillingly to school. And then the lover, Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad Made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier, Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard, Jealous in honour, sudden and quick in quarrel, Seeking the bubble reputation Even in the cannon's mouth. And then the justice, In fair round belly with good capon lined, With eyes severe and beard of formal cut, Full of wise saws and modern instances; And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts Into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon, With spectacles on nose and pouch on side, His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice, Turning again toward childish treble, pipes And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all, That ends this strange eventful history, Is second childishness and mere oblivion, Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.
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