I have been battling lyme, bart, and babs for two years now. I have been through hell and back, taken every antibiotic there is, followed the diet, exercised, blah, blah, blah,
I see a great lyme doc, but I feel like I just can't do it any more. I'm sitting here with tears running down my face, intensepain in my stomach and head, and want it to be over with.
I have good friends that tell me to hang on but when will it end???
I'm in such a bad place right now. I know it's probably a high herx, but I am on the ledge and want to jump.
PLease someone talk to me!!!
Posted by Jane2904 (Member # 15917) on :
Hi, I am sorry you are not feeling well. Battling Lyme, Bart and Babs is sure a tough.
Do you take anything for liver support? Probiotics?
Have you started any new meds? We thought our teenage daughter was doing better.
Then she just recently started a new protocol for Lyme and Bart. She is herxing now. Bart herxes seem to be difficult.
Please hang in there. Treatment is difficult. Have you tried talking to your LLMD, he/she might be able to suggest something to help lessen the pain.
We are here for you, Hugs, Jane
Posted by Hoosiers51 (Member # 15759) on :
I'm so sorry you are having a rough time.
We all have been there. If you know it's a herx, pushing through can be good. But it's also good to know when it's time to take a step back. Sometimes stopping medication can help to see "where you're at." Ask your doctor first of course!
I have taken breaks from all the meds before. Also, I've had periods where I've done just one drug in a "maintenence" kind of way, to give myself a break. No shame in taking some time off heavy duty treatment if you feel you need it....so talk to your doctor if you feel any of that applies!
Posted by lauirel (Member # 16640) on :
Ah Lyme987,
I have been at your place so many times. Its just so damn disheartening, when you spend all your money and time, and then the results aren't forthcoming as we would like.
I envisioned myslef old with grandkids someday soon, a completely different life. I had to think about if I stopped fighting, then what? That choice didn't sit well with me, and really its the only thing that keeps me going sometimes.
There is an answer to everything, sometimes it just isn't apparent.
I try not to look at daily progress but progress I have made in the years since this hell. I am going on four years!!!
Lack of substantial progress keeps me studying. It helps me to feel not so powerless and so dependent on others, including the LLMD's.
So when I think back to when I couldn't move, work, get out of bed, it seems much brighter than what I am feeling at the time.
Fear of the unknown is also a great depressor. I am scared, but I try to acknowledge that and keep plugging and learning.
There are so many wonderful people here. Some have suffered much longer, and lost much more. Lean on them, us, when you need it, but keep plugging.
Hugs....
LaurieL
Posted by lyme in Putnam (Member # 11561) on :
I know this isn't easy, it gets harder every time, but hold on. I feel like that - don't know when or if I'll ever get back to what I was. Day at a time, minute at a time. Take it easy - I try to tell myself the same thing. You'll be ok.
Posted by lyme987 (Member # 22148) on :
Thanks everyone for your kind words and replies. I went to my part-time job (3hrs) and I already feel a bit better emotionally.
thanks your support. It means a lot to me
Posted by f13girl (Member # 23844) on :
Wow if you can do a part time job you are doing so much better than many of us! Things are not so bad!
Posted by jennie46 (Member # 20953) on :
I am so sorry you are not feeling well.
I am there with you. Lately, I just want to give up.
We just have to keep battling day by day.
Hugs & Prayers for you, Jen
Posted by gwb (Member # 7273) on :
lyme, sorry for the suffering you're going through. Have you considered going the natural route with natural medicines? I did abx for five years and was near death last December. Today, I'm living again.
I can't tell you how many times in the last 4 years I screamed "I cannot live one more minute like this!" Somehow, I do.
I can only say, you aren't alone and really concentrate only taking it moment by moment when necessary.
There will be better days ahead and unfortunately bad days too. Hopefully we all eventually have more good than bad, that is the goal.
My LLMd always says, "LD treatment is a marathon, not a sprint, but you can get to the finish line".
Posted by sparkle7 (Member # 10397) on :
Many of us have been where you are. Just know that you are not alone!
I wish I could say something, some drug, product, or lifestyle that would cure you & everyone here but there are no easy answers.
Just keep hanging in there! Somehow we'll get through this.
Posted by BoxerMom (Member # 25251) on :
Lyme987 - I know you can keep going!
We all have our well-deserved breakdowns, but we all keep going. You are going to recover your health. You just have to go to he[[ to reclaim it!
Don't isolate. It makes everything scarier. Hang out with people, even if they don't understand you at all. And post here. Cuz we understand you.
Hugs and wags, BoxerMom
Posted by Beachinit (Member # 21040) on :
When I feel like this I have been taking 1 day off meds, taking supplements only and as many detox measures as possible seems to help a lot. For me its extra yogurt, lipoic acid, oat bran, vitamin C, etc,etc. Also try to take your mental focus off being sick for that one day. Kind of a mental health detox. Try to find anything you can to laugh at. If I feel pathetic I can laugh at that, If I've been taking antibiotics for 10 out of 12 months I laugh at that. Treat your self special for that day, kind of like a personal spa day. For me things usually look better the next day.
Hope springs eternal,
Beachinit.
Posted by sixgoofykids (Member # 11141) on :
I have been there so many times. You want to give up, run away, whatever. But you can't. Hang in there! I'm glad I did, I'm better today and so happy I kept fighting!!! Hang in there, not only can you, but you have to!
Posted by Erica741 (Member # 15186) on :
Have you done any IV treatment? Could be that you need that extra "oomph" to kill the infections. IV is also generally better at getting into the brain, where Lyme LOVES to hide out from abx, the immune system or any threat.
Posted by IMHisda (Member # 6998) on :
Dear Lyme987
Keep going!! I have had this for 20 years. Maybe your doc can pull back on your meds a little so you don't Herx as much- remember to keep up the antidepressants - lack of depression means you are in a better place for your body to heal. I didn't get diagnosed for 12 years (relapse from the first too-short trx) so don't use me as example but it's all we can do. I am doing better than I was a few years ago- don't look too far forward just put one foot in front of another - one day at a time. Going in for my second round of HBOT six weeks 7 days a week. There is a purpose Posted by WildCondor (Member # 434) on :
I used to be where you are...it does get better, people do heal and move on with their lives. Hang in there. You have to tough this out for the long haul, knowing that if you keep fighting you will win. Quitting is not an option.
Posted by RESOLVED. (Member # 24991) on :
lyme987,Just my opinion...when it gets like that, try to call on Him.
Posted by sickpuppy (Member # 23846) on :
I just posted about my staggering depression this past week. The feeling got a little better-for now. There's no doubt this is hard. I'm only 7 months into treatment and I often feel at my wits end. But as others have said there's no choice but to press on.
Lots of hugs!!!
Posted by sixgoofykids (Member # 11141) on :
Moving to General Support, there's a link at the upper left that will take you to the new location.
![[Smile]](smile.gif)