It's really hard to live like you're dead. I thank God I'm alive, but I hurt and am tired. I
have a psych, am on meds, but nothing is getting me out of this. I miss my life so much. Any
tips - Klonopin calms it down, but its a depressant and I can't stop crying how miserable
I am. Sorry to vent, I'm just so sad. On iv rocephin, zith and mino. How did you do it and
get over this? I need help cause I don't know how. Due for monthly cycle today or tomorrow,
but how do you feel alive??? trying to keep distracted. Posted by greengirl (Member # 25316) on :
I am so sorry you're going through this. It sucks. I hope things look up a bit in the next day or two, as getting through my cycle is always a big help to me.
I feel this way often, too. Especially during what are supposed to be really happy moments. In fact, it is probably this feeling that had me in therapy for all those years rather than a medical treatment.
You are getting treated and you are moving forward. Coming here and talking is good. I hope it helps. If things get really bad, you may want to seek out a therapist, clergy or someone to talk through all these awful feelings with. Someone here suggested I search for a support group that deals with grief over illness.
Maybe seek out a different depression med??
I tend to pop in a spiritual CD by someone like Wayne Dyer or Deepak Chopra. Focus on the one tiny thing you can enjoy. I don't mean minimize what's going on with you, but pick one thing, a flower petal or nascar race or whatever it is, and focus on just that for a little while. Get a pair of comfy socks and a cuddly sweater and cuddle up with a nice teddy bear. Or, grab an Evanescence CD and listen to "Wake me Up Inside" I always feel like someone understands me when I hear that song.
Posted by feelbetter (Member # 21957) on :
I have depersonalization/derealization for about 3 years.
For me,physical pain is much harder than the dp/dr.
Posted by azdaisy (Member # 25357) on :
Hello Lyme in Putnam! Well, we are all soul survivors and very special people to live and even attempt to thrive in such ridiclous circumstances. I was misdiagnosed for more than 20 years and was told quite plainly that I was mentally ill. I agreed!! In my humble opionion there is nothing more mentally distructive than physical pain. and for me...when my physical pain gets me pinned down it flows over into emotional pain. Speaking of flow...the red menence is real and hormones add to the meloncoly and hoplessness. This is temporary!! I have smiled,laughed and had windows of me during the last two years albeit brief...I am still in here and so are you! I have been on maybe 11-15 different head meds in the last 25 years...and most all my posts mention Selegiline and lithium orotate as this changed my LIFE!!! I had a single dose of Lyrica and wanted a gun for 9 weeks. 3 + weeks of the selegiline and lithum and the sun came out. I am still very labile, but thats my nature and let's face it, this is sad hard work! I have had a PICC line in for 7 months and 1 year of ABX before that and only out of bed a few hours a day for a year now. I want to share what works for me - prayer which can be as simple as the word please. I love movies, my cats and the bird feeder. The little things like being so grateful its not worse. It could always be worse. there is a song at the end of the movie Inkheart...my declaration.. and I printed it out and have it on the wall... If you haven't watched underourskin..I strongly recommend the hour of bonus features and see them 2 years after filming. They all improved and got better!! and it was after at least 3 years of ABX ...so one more to go. Forgive my blithering but I also really want to share that In my lifetime I have smashed my face into my steering wheel going 50 mph, fell 3 stories, biten by a copperhead snake, overdosed on drugs and alcohol and I am still here. I have been way to close to dead to not know that God has a plan for me...and its NOT to die from a BUG!!!!! I would be happy to chat you up anytime. You make it, we all make it!!! Sister in healing,
Posted by lymebytes (Member # 11830) on :
This was my sons worst symptom - just awful. He started on Flagyl, then did long term high dose Doxy and then followed with Bicllin IM to the end of treatment. It took almost 2 years total, but these abx seemed to work well, in that order.
One LLMd I have seen believes this symptom is due to cystic form. I am not so sure I agree though, Flagyl didn't clear it for my son.
All symptoms had vanished except depersonalization through treatment. When he stopped Bicillin, within a few months depersonalization vanished.
Klonopin may not be the best choice. It really isn't a depressant, it should relax you. But Klonopin just didn't help me or my son. But Xanax made a world of difference and helped him throughout treatment and it works good for me too.
He was able to cut down and get off Xanax easily after 2 years of use.
I hope you find relief, this symptom is just awful.
Posted by azdaisy (Member # 25357) on :
for what it's worth, my sister is a pediatrician and gives her kids and me...proprananol. it is a blood pressure med used off label for anxiety with no impact on the central nervous system like xanax and klonipin. I used to work in a psychiatric hosptial and I can't tell you how many people checked in due to abuse and dependence on the above mentioned meds...all I know is that with our special Lyme affected nervous system...proprananol is great! I take 10mgs at bed and nosh on 1/2 a tab if I have anxiety. non habit forming and there is no sense of sedation at all, just relief. My panic disordered 13 year old niece takes 60 mgs daily and is her magic bullet! ask your LLMD! I took metronidizole for my cystic form with pulsed ABX for what that is worth. best!
Posted by Robin123 (Member # 9197) on :
Don't know if this is possible for you, but I always find it helpful to get involved with something I enjoy, whatever it is. Takes my mind off of me and puts it on something else. Then I find I have enjoyed that time more.
Posted by lyme in Putnam (Member # 11561) on :
thanks for the advice everyone. It's hard to know what I enjoy in this state. Its so weird when you are usually a person of conviction and self and feel like you don't know who you are. Scares the s_____ out of me, but I believe in God and I know there has to be reprieve. Hope everyone has good health in the NEAR future. (Like now would be nice). I miss me, sounds sick, but I was organized and would like to plan...Now its minute by minute till God willing it subsides and somehting kicks in. Feel good.
Posted by CD57 (Member # 11749) on :
I think it can be toxins also......have you tried a colonic?
Posted by CD57 (Member # 11749) on :
Azdaisy I googled "proprananol" and couldnt find it, did you mean propanalol -- the beta blocker?
Posted by nefferdun (Member # 20157) on :
Hi L in Punam, Sure wish something would kick in and work for you. I have been there and it is the pits. You know mine was bart related, not lyme, and treating that brought me out of it. I have some black holes to deal with but I am much better. Just hang in there. You will get better. And keep asking for help because everyone here totally understands.
Posted by lyme in Putnam (Member # 11561) on :
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