I had my tests done through Quest. Postive Elisa. Bands 23,41,93=Postive. Ehrlichia= Postive Fibromyalgia
After all I have been through this last year. Doc to Doc. 2 spinal taps, tons of blood work. Finally finding out I have Lyme Disease. Now seeing a LLND, who says I defintley have lyme, there are days I try to deny it and say "Perhaps it is something else".
But in reality, I know its not.
Only 20, Married, College student trying to become a kindergarten teacher. It just is hard sometimes, wanting a life that you once had before. Feeling like no one understands. Sometimes wishing you really had MS, Lupus or cancer because then maybe a friend or a doctor would want to see you get better, and help you.
Then ending up Getting suspended from my university for medical reasons because Lyme made my body take a turn for a worse.
I couldn't focus. My body Mimic Lupus and MS. There were days I could not move. I passed all my classes but clogging, because lyme disabled me from dancing. I can walk just fine, It is just once I start dancing all my joints become limp and heavy. The fibro comes back. I have been dancing since I was little, and now I cant. It hurts my knees and gives me shin splints to even stand a long time playing my violin.
I feel as if Lyme has taken away so much from me. My husband has been the only one and people here on this site who have been able to understand me.
Even though I have a postive test, I still try to deny the fact I have lyme. But I know I have it.
Has anyone felt like this? As if the world you once knew became different to you once you found out you had lyme? Did you see from a new perspective?
Sorry I just needed to vent. I guess all of us lymies need a day like this.
[ 06-07-2010, 10:54 AM: Message edited by: mcg08002 ]
Posted by bcb1200 (Member # 25745) on :
Yes...I still have these feelings.
Unlike you...I didn't test postive on my Elisa from Imugen. But I was IgM and CDC positive on my Igenex.
I actually asked the question last week...do I have lyme...and the lymies here all came back saying "you sure do...in fact you have it so badly the CDC says you have it and you have bands 83/93 (Lyme DNA.)"
The controvery of lyme is frustrating...as is the fear of the unknown. i.e. "will I ever be the same again? Will I have to be on Abx for the rest of my life?" And it is frustrating because people don't "get it."
But..for me I was GLAD to find a root cause as it explains everything. I would never want to think it was MS as there is NO CURE for that, whereas people DO get better with proper lyme treatment.
Posted by lyme in Putnam (Member # 11561) on :
I wish I can help. I believe its lyme, but with ocd, I believe I just cracked. No one could understand the frustration. Give everything time. I keep telling myself that. I adore my husband and son and wish I didn't have to go through what I m going through. God wouldn't watch suffering for no reason. You will get better one day and this will be a memory. Hopefully a bad one and we can forget once its over. One minute at a time.
Posted by Pinelady (Member # 18524) on :
I am glad you are taking it so well. I was so angry with my doc I wanted to pinch his head off....
You will get much better now.
Hope you have a wonderful LLMD to walk with you down the road to wellness once again....
Posted by Keebler (Member # 12673) on :
- First of all, lyme patients do not get the respect deserved. Lyme patients are put down by most doctors who know nothing they need to know regarding the range of tick infections and then, those with lyme are left to figure it all out with a thread of help.
Yes, it's life-altering. However, you may be amazed at the choices that will still be in front of you. The time table has for sure been shaken up but you can still enjoy some things along the way and pay attention to what doors close (maybe they needed to) and which ones open.
I wish I had known at age 20 (when I really got very ill but it was put off a "just mono"). Thirty seven years later, my life is very limited because I was not able to properly address this at age 20, or 30, or 40.
Learn what you can from the LL ND and from other sources. You may not be in university, officially, but just being a lyme patient is an education that takes a lot of effort - and has rewards, too.
As for how to gain the respect of those who don't know about lyme, this is just a suggestion: I think they would take it more seriously if you don't use the nickname "Lymie" - it makes it sound like some social club in the eyes of those who don't know the devastation that a spirochete can cause.
Lyme patients - or those dealing with lyme - deserve the same sort of respect as those dealing with other life-altering conditions. Lyme is a very serious infection. it's hard to admit that as we try to pretend nothing has changed. It has. But we just have to hold on to who we are as we deal with all this.
Hold on to who you are, what's important to you and your dreams for being involved in life around you.
And never let your eyes off the main job: addressing the infections adequately. Don't let up on that as you want to move past this someday in the relatively near future. And, a couple of years off the planned path may seem like a life time but, a couple of years working to get well will serve you for the rest of a healthy life. -
Posted by sixgoofykids (Member # 11141) on :