I know tx takes a long time with borrellia and bart and babs. I've been sick for 8 years and am 1 month into tx. I can't help but feel impatient and discouraged by the cost of everything. I always get like this a week before my period. I do so well being strong and courageous by myself up until now.
my thyroid is fine, and she said my wbc is 6.6? she said that was good. i don't even know what wbc is - white blood cell count? It confused me because i thought wbc should be over 60 or more (i'm thinking of the CD57 test, maybe i'm thinking t-cells?)
the 3 abx are low dose, she is letting me go back on diflucan for the next 2 weeks before starting abx again. i felt much better on diflucan. i'm almost positive i have some kind of parasite aside from babs maybe so she is issuing a stool test to be done.
I do a really dang good job at appearing normal to everyone, but inside i just wanna have a breakdown in someones arms. i have supportive peeps around, but i practically have to spell it out to them every time why im frustrated and sometimes i just dont feel like spelling it out.
i just want someone to know i need a dang hug, is that selfish? i hate when i get like this each month. i'm the type of person that will try to keep to myself and cry alone because i don't like putting my stuff on others. but being alone sux sometimes too.
Posted by Wolfed Out (Member # 23727) on :
FYRE,
I know exactly how you feel.
To clarify, the CD57 marker for Lyme is listed at 60 not the WBC. And, you're WBC does look good! I'm around 4.2, but I believe low is considered below 4.
I know you're probably just venting, and that's cool. I'm low on support right here in my own house, so I know what that feels like.
My own parents have never been to the doctor's with me, and turn their hands every time I get excited about a new direction that might lead me out of the Lyme pit.
It's frustrating and a person who's never been chronically ill could never comprehend what this is like. I've told my own friends this, and they agree.
Still, none of them call me, and I receive a rare text message. Honestly, I think they're more bent on pretending they care than actual act of caring, because no one stops by my house either.
I'm not gonna continue to rant on my end, just saying I know what it's like, but it sure does make you see everything in a different way. It's going to be interesting to see how my social life changes again once I'm healthy.
Get well, FYRE.
Posted by TF (Member # 14183) on :
Yes, wbc is white blood cell. A count of 6.6 is very good. So, your body is well able to fight infections. That's what you want.
Here is a hug for you.
Your hormones are acting up. Very typical with lyme. Many here have gone through this feeling every month while having and treating this disease.
You are strong, and in a few days you will feel strong again, even though you feel differently right now. We are here for you all the time, and you don't have to spell it out.
Praying you will see improvement with your symptoms very soon. Let us know, OK?
Posted by FYRECRACKER (Member # 28568) on :
thanks guys. yes this started as a medical question but quickly became a venting session.
it's easy to cut out friends that easily forget about you in your darkest hours, but family that you live with...thats hard. you can't cut them out. it's like they wait for you to be normal again, until that time, they steer clear like it's our fault. we shouldn't have to feel like we have to explain ourselves to get some love and understanding.
but, thats just the way my family is for now i guess. thankfully, there's lymenet.
thanks again...
Posted by lyme in Putnam (Member # 11561) on :
Posted by JunkYardWily (Member # 24271) on :
quote:Originally posted by Wolfed Out: My own parents have never been to the doctor's with me
hell my dads a dr and he goes around telling my siblings that im making the whole thing up turning my own family against me. needless to say he doesnt go to dr appointments with me or even call/text once a year to see how im doing.
in the end you have to just except that people dont care about you. its up to you to fight for you. its up to you to care for you. do you actually think doubters believe that people with lyme are making it up?? of course not, its just a convenient excuse to not have to be involved.
as far as being frustrated ive been there and still experience it a lot. try to prepare yourself for a long haul. however ive hear some people do get better.
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