I really appreciate having this venue to share and ask questions. This experience is lonely and scary.
My worst symptom of lyme is what i would call an emotional numbness.
EMOTIONAL NUMBNESS..or a diminished range of emotions. It was actually one of my first symptoms which accompanied a depersonalization..but the
depersonalization is gone and the numbness still survives. I can't feel love anymore or any real
emotion for that matter. I will listen to a song or look at someone I love or talk to them..and no
emotions accompany these moments. Sometimes I can
feel a diminished or dulled feeling of anxiousness. But never good feelings. Only nothingness or dulled irritability or anxiousness. Has anyone else felt
this? And how does it go away? I notice that I'm really sensitive to supplements and when I take
tyrosine or tryptophan aspects of this symptom will subside for a short moment. Does this mean that the Lyme has depleted my nuerotransmitters? Does anyone
know anything about this? Or why this kind of thing happens?
Some things I want to point out about this. I know that this isn't just depression. Whatever this diminished emotional range is.. accompanies both my cognitive problems and physical problems.
This numbness makes me feel disconnected from myself. I don't even recognize myself in the mirror. Or anything for that matter.
I hope this wasn't too much information.
Maybe I can get some more feedback. Thank you to everyone for reading.
Michelle
Posted by skies (Member # 28064) on :
I'm sorry that I really don't have any answers for you. All I can say is that I totally identify with how you feel. I don't know why it happens or when it will go away. I also feel very disconnected and numb most of the time. I am irritable and anxious and I feel like a shadow of my former self. I don't feel love most of the time and I also feel like I've kind of lost my sense of humor. It's incredibly depressing. I don't feel like the same person anymore.
I don't have any answers for you, I'm still searching for them myself..but you certainly aren't alone..
Hang in there. Posted by eggplahnt (Member # 31432) on :
How long have you been feeling this way? And how long have you been treated for Lyme?
Michelle
Posted by skies (Member # 28064) on :
I've been in treatment for about 6.5 months. I've been feeling this way since I got sick, but it seems to have gotten worse over the last couple of months. I don't know why, but it seems like this symptom is getting worse and it's harder to handle all the time..
How about you?
Posted by eggplahnt (Member # 31432) on :
I haven't been in extensive treatment yet because I am waiting for my "official results" I've just been taking doxy. Can you describe to me exactly what your symptoms feel like?
Do you feel like it is depression? Apathy?
This feeling feels more physical than anything. Like that it is directly connected to something missing in my brain.
Posted by shazdancer (Member # 1436) on :
I had that "disconnected" feeling when I was ill, and was treated for Lyme. My son had the reduced range of emotions thing in spades, and it was one of the last things to ease, when he was treated for Bartonella.
Shaz
Posted by skies (Member # 28064) on :
It's hard to put the exact feelings into words, but you could say it's like extreme depression mixed with apathy..mixed with total lack of emotion sometimes.
I feel like I have no patience and little things push me over the edge. I feel really irritable all the time. I am super aggitated and angry one minute and sad and crying the next. It's quite a rollercoaster and it's miserable.
Well, I certainly hope you can get some good treatment.. Are you seeing an LLMD (or are you planning on it)?
Posted by eggplahnt (Member # 31432) on :
I am seeing a LLND.
For some reason medical doctors are not allowed to treat for lyme disease in oregon.
But he can do all the same things regular doctors can do.
I am not sure if he does IV therapy. I hope so.. because I know I'm going to need it.
Posted by MariaA (Member # 9128) on :
Hi Michelle,
I've had this experience and so has another friend of mine with Lyme. We suspect that it's endocrine- I think he even got some hormone tests and was low in testosterone, but that's no confirmation that that was specifically the cause for him. Anyway, lyme Disease does mess up your endocrine system quite a bit, which usually reverses completely upon treatment. Often people have both thyroid and adrenal system issues. Various supplements can help if that's the case- anyway, ND's are good at figuring out that sort of thing.
Anyway, one thought I had was that it's easier to be 'emotionally flat' than it is to be crying all the time, upset for no reason, etc, which is another phenomenon that many people with Lyme experience (also temporarily- it goes away with treatment).
Lots of people have gotten better without IV antibiotics, though they certainly have major advantages if you can get them.
For more background on the politics of why regular MD's are sometimes afraid to treat Lyme patients, there's a good video called Under Our Skin that is about to air on PBS this month and is available as a DVD, and there's a good book called Cure Unknown.
Posted by rosebuds mom (Member # 17435) on :
egg, You have described exactly how my daughter feels sometimes. She has had Lyme+co's for over three years and has felt disconnected to herself and her feelings many times during her treatments especially during herx's. I know its happening when ever I ask her a question and all she can reply is "I don't know". She says her emotions go to sleep. Her LLMD assured us it will go away with treatment, which is what I have seen as she has been slowly emerging again.
Hope this helps.
Posted by lyme in Putnam (Member # 11561) on :
Do a search on depersonalization. I've lived this way since 11/09. You'll find many posts, mostly by me. Its the worst of symptom. Physical there too, but emotional numbness makes you feel insane. People react and cope differently. If u do a search, you'll see how many people have this. Feel better.
Posted by seekhelp (Member # 15067) on :
I can 100% relate to this feeling. I hate it so much. It has really made life hard for me. Posted by norcal (Member # 29829) on :
It goes away with treatment.I know ,I had it. That was easily the worst symptom for me. Good luck to you.
Posted by coffee71 (Member # 17467) on :
I can relate to this, hate this state of mind and the way I have been feeling but... I hope you don't get me wrong... !!!this strange state of mind helped me to stay extremely focused on myself and my struggle with Lyme for past two years!!!
Before I crushed with big symptoms in August 2008 I thought I was depressed, sometimes I was so much disconnected with outside world that I thought I suffer form some sort of autism.
When physical symptoms went out of control and I was diagnosed with Lyme I found some sort of inner peace.
And it does get better with the treatment.
I still go through ugly period of physical and emotional flare ups but then I remember where I was just few months ago, six months or a year ago and I am like this is not so ugly.
Good luck to all of us
Posted by chiquita incognita (Member # 30381) on :
If it was me, I would be seeing a chiropractic neurologist. As well as treating the lyme. Best wishes, CI
Posted by apljack (Member # 14233) on :
It gets better with treatment. Be sure you are taking good probiotics. My LLMD has me on one and on Floraster & Nystatin. Doxy is very strong and kills EVERYTHING.
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