I've been treating for Babesia on and off for the last year, my predominant symptom being overwhelming fatigue and lots of neuro psych issues. My anxiety seems to have increased and I've developed the dreaded "lyme rage" over the last few months. I feel like a maniac. I cry all the time. Sometimes I lay in bed and I feel so paralyzed that I can't even get up to go pee. FOR HOURS. I just lay there feeling dread and paralyzed and gripped with this feeling of doom and terror. This was not ever my personality before. Now my chest is tight and my stomach in knots. Other times I am so apathetic that I just lay in bed and don't even eat, I've just lost the will to live, to keep trying to get myself better.
Okay, I totally digressed from my question. I do have a question. Is it possible to have Bartonella if you've never had any of the foot pain or rashes or headaches?
I have had all sorts of neuro stuff over the last several years (insomnia with night terrors, very spikey mood swings, OCD, ADD, etc.) Oh, that's another major, major symptom. I've developed really bad ADD. I get completely overwhelmed by simple tasks. Making decision has become overwhelming, my mind goes completely blank.
My doctor has clinically diagnosed me with Bartonella (my lab tests were negative). (BTW, probably unrelated butI was bitten by a cat and went to ER and had an IV drip of abx about 8 years ago because my finger swelled up. Have no clue if that could be part of this). My last known tick bite was about 22 years ago.
Well, I've never written a post this long because I'm always too exhausted. But I took a sample stimulant medication this morning that my doctor gave me so I am able to concentrate enough to write (I hardly ever take this med because I think stimulants are very bad over the long term and they also make me crash really hard).
One last thing, how do you deal with family and friends who don't understand lyme? It is so incredibly isolating. My step-mother (who knows nothing about lyme and has never bothered to learn) keeps insisting that I have a "mental health issue." It's so stigmatizing and innacurate.
I have no idea how to explain why I'm mostly bedridden and then once or twice a month something shifts and I can have half of a good day. So frustrating. I don't understand it, so how am I supposed to explain it?
Posted by scorpiogirl (Member # 31907) on :
Hi, I'm sorry you're not feeling well. I am sure many people have Bart that didn't have a positive test, so you could very well have it. Plus not everyone presents w/ the same exact list of symptoms. Yours overlap some of mine and I am Bart positive.
You could ask your Dr to treat you for Bart and see if your symptoms improve.
As far as trying to make people understand you can't. It's a losing battle, not worth spending the time or energy trying... it will only upset you more. People are simply too busy living their lives and they can't even fathom the hell we're going through. Until they are in a health crisis they are just not capable or willing to learn about or understand Lyme. I only have my husband, mother in law and 4 friends that believe I'm sick. The rest of my family/friends pretend like nothing is going on. Even when they see my central line no one asked a question! NOT ONE! I have more strangers asking me what was that line hanging from my chest than my own family. So whatever... I'm done convincing people. And I'm done defending my illness!
Posted by Jamers (Member # 28016) on :
jalama-I treated Babesia for 4 months and then all of the symptoms you listed above came raging back out for me. This MUST be bartonella. The test are hardly ever positive, mine is negative.
However, I have the anxiety, obsessive compulsive, fearful, and apathetic. I too feel I have lost all faith and will to live. Its so overwhelming. I honestly feel that this disease is hard on our sanity but Bartonella causes all of those symptoms. I feel like Im constantly plugged in, I can't sleep at night because Im afraid...of what? I don't know!! Im also depersonalized, like I don't remember who I used to be and Im very antisocial and isolated.
You don't have a mental health issue you have Bartonella.
Posted by BugBit (Member # 7829) on :
The symptoms you describe, for me, were all heavy metal related. Mercury, in particular. My understanding is that until the metals are out, you will not win against bacteria or other bugs because the metals allow them to be hidden from the immune system. I have an outdoor cat, scratches me all the time so I took Mepron for a couple months, no change. I so understand this struggle, i am 55 yrs now and it has been my life. No one 'gets it' and no one gives a hoot. The best advice I can offer is if you are isolated as I am, develop interests and hobbies that make you happy. Do things you can, that make you feel happy. It's the best medicine. I was ten years in bed, no one visited. I developed my inner space, my inner connections and my spirit. We do what we were intended to do, sooner or later.
Posted by Jamers (Member # 28016) on :
BugBit-Cats can transmit Bartonella through scratches, its very common. Mepron is for Babesia not Bartonella so it would not do anything to help your issues from the cat scratches.
Posted by Beagle (Member # 29698) on :
BugBit.........wish I could do what you did..developing that inner space - connections and spirit.
It's the isolation that will be the death of me long before the disease!