Mind connection, heart not there, time distorted, sense of self almost vacant....what's yours. Long term memory ok, short shot. Loved ones, no familiarity, family, friends. On OCD Meds to cope with obsessing why. Have seconds of reality, self, my life, then goes back, anyone else and how do u cope? Thx
Posted by aperture (Member # 34822) on :
It's like the opposite of deja vu.
Posted by lyme in Putnam (Member # 11561) on :
Like its the first time for everything?
Posted by little_olive (Member # 28063) on :
I don't know how you're supposed to cope. It's like you're dreaming and you can't wake up. An awful feeling. Only treatment helped it go away, but in the mean time...just awful.
I remember once I found myself curled up in the corner of my room and not remembering how I got there. My family thought I was doing it for ATTENTION.
Hope you can stick to a bartonella treatment. I did:
deja vu is unfamiliar things/situations feeling familiar, so the opposite would be "jamais vu" where familiar things/situations feel unfamiliar, if that makes any sense.
Kind of like a detached feeling, almost like your watching everything going on, but don't feel a part of it. Like watching it on TV.
It's a horrible, creepy, scary feeling.
I had that feeling my first day on Doxy. I almost feel like it must be some kind of brain herx, in my case. Who knows??
I had it again today after herxing pretty bad this past week. I had to take Klonopin for it.
Oh yeah, like you my long-term memory's ok, but short term memory is now completely obliterated.
Posted by Haley (Member # 22008) on :
I feel as if I am floating, detached, can't remember anything, feel stupid, can't converse, drugged, like I am no longer myself.
There are days when I think it is better and then I go out and start having a conversation with someone or a group of people and I instantly notice that I am super slow.
Posted by lyme in Putnam (Member # 11561) on :
I know klonopin well these last few mos. aperture.
Posted by joysie (Member # 11063) on :
Under glass, there but not, slow, stuttery "soul-less" but aware
Posted by aperture (Member # 34822) on :
I like that metaphor joysie, "under glass", very fitting.
Posted by derk diggler (Member # 31903) on :
somebody please tell me the best meds to get rid of the dp/dr ive had this for two years and never treated for lyme once, cuz i dont no if i have it but i think i do, this is the most horrible way to live i want it gone so so so so so so so so bad please if you no how to get rid of this symptom you will be truly saving my life, my family my career, my spirit and my soul thanx for any POSITIVE feed back uuuuuhhhhhhgggggg
Posted by lyme in Putnam (Member # 11561) on :
Bartonella treatment. Rifampin, levaquin are two. There's other ways I'm trying to figure this out now. Again. Did it before on Iv rocephin and Iv Zithromax. Not this last time. It got me good.
Posted by lyme in Putnam (Member # 11561) on :
Monday had sense of self for a few hours, then this came back with a vengeance. Llnd today. HELP. The OCD Meds I'm on were upped and I'm Parkinson's like shaking, legs and arms muscle weakness. Down on the anafranil hope that goes away. Brain is bak in limbo.
Posted by been (Member # 23127) on :
Derealization...
Posted by lymielauren28 (Member # 13742) on :
I feel detached...like aperture said, it's almost like watching tv. It sucks and I'm sick of it.
Posted by Susie R (Member # 30780) on :
Here are just some herbal suggestions to add to your abx to bring up with your LLMD:
1. japanese knotweed (I'm finding it REALLY helpful with lyme plus Bartonella) 2. pinella: I haven't used this but it's marketed as a brain cleanse/support and a friend uses it and says it's made a huge difference for her.
Other measures: try eating a lot of sardines, herrings, salmon for the omega 3's which are good for the brain. Also try eating liver which has tons of B vitamins. (I get chicken livers from truly free range and organic chickens since the livers concentrate toxins and I only eat "clean" livers).
Try eating a brazil nut and tablespoon of pumpkin seeds daily (antioxidants selenium and mineral magnesium).
Magnesium oil topically helps with sleep at night, diminishes twitchiness and calms the jumpy brain. So will an epsom salt bath with 2 cups of salts in the tub.
Susie
Posted by map1131 (Member # 2022) on :
I can feel so detached mentally...and then I find myself detaching physically from family and friends for long periods.
Susie, I was craving chicken livers and wanted to go to Cracker Barrel tonight to use Christmas gift card.....
I hope CB has clean livers? lol
Pam
Posted by lyme in Putnam (Member # 11561) on :
Posted by pooldog71 (Member # 21722) on :
Mine is not severe (I think?) But I do have memory issues, more short term. I recently rented a movie, brought it home and my wife asked if I wanted to see that again! We had seen it 4-5 weeks before and I had no memory of it and enjoyed it again! I guess I have more movies to watch! Also, remembering new names has gotten very hard.
It especially affects my ability to concentrate and comprehend more complex reading. It is like my reading level has dropped a couple of grades.
Posted by back2game (Member # 23927) on :
great comments, makes me feel not so alone. have real trouble recognizing faces -- in person and on t.v./movies. can't really follow cuz lots of faces look the same.
really s***s, know how you feel about intelligence level.
Posted by tickssuck (Member # 15388) on :
OK...I don't know if I should describe mine as "brain fog." I really don't have a lot of cognitive issues, at least currently.
However, I do have periods where it feels like my brain/head is not connected to the rest of my body. It's a struggle to make my arms/legs do what I want them to - I can do it, but it's very weird and takes way more effort than a "normal" person.
I have also had periods, more of a "spell," where I feel like I'm on the outside looking in, out of body sort of feeling, as others have mentioned. This has only lasted for a few minutes at a time. Hate, hate, hate it. TS
Posted by norcal (Member # 29829) on :
Alice in wonderland.Dementers from Harry Potter.Just existing. Sorry you are going through this,when it ends ,life is SO good! Keep with the treatment.
Posted by katiebobatie (Member # 28753) on :
i feel like i am in a dream when i go out in public... i look at people, but its like i can't focus on them, and i just feel totally out of it... it's hard to explain!
i've also noticed that certain lighting makes it worse. i stopped going to my favorite salad bar, because it makes it impossible for me to have a conversation with my husband.
at home i seem to have just regular brain fog, where i have trouble focusing, can't remember words, and use the wrong words. i just can't concentrate. it's SO hard for me to read or write emails, i've given up.
this past week i've been on a break from IV treatment, and ive actually been able to think well enough to post here! i am amazed by how much i've been able to read and write. just goes to show that my problem is lyme related Posted by katiebobatie (Member # 28753) on :
i also make the dumbest mistakes and just come across really stupid because i can't think straight.
if i go to the airport, i can't figure out how to work the simple machines, and everyone thinks i'm totally ignorant to travelling, even though i've been all over the world.
i just make silly mistakes one after another. if i'm at home it doesn't bother me, but if people are watching i get super nervous, and then i can't stop making dumb mistakes!
i had to quit driving, because if someone would honk at me it'd be my immediate reaction to drive into the other lane. i just can't think straight!
Posted by katiebobatie (Member # 28753) on :
oh, and when watching tv, i constant rewind shows and play the same part over and over again, and i still can't figure out what is being said and what is going on!
it's like whatever i'm seeing or hearing doesn't register!
also, this may just be me, but i cannot understand people with even the slightest accent. it's impossible! they might as well be speaking a foreign language Posted by Adey123 (Member # 29328) on :
Just saw this thread and wanted to contribute.
Mine ranges from the minor memory issues to depression whilst always feeling I'm in some kind of dream.
I have a physical feeling in my head (not so much pain but more of a pressure which feels like it's slowly shutting my cognition down).
Speech isn't great and I'm emotionally numb. Does feel as if i'm going mad sometimes
Adey
Posted by malala (Member # 21848) on :
Opposite of Deja Vu is a very good description, aperture.
I describe it like when you come back from six weeks away, and you walk around your home thinking "This is where I live?" Like I know where to find everything, but the perception is just wrong.
I really think we are down the rabbit hole.
Posted by pme (Member # 31621) on :
Good descriptions. I have a lot of the same. What exactly is depersonalization?
I cannot cope with interacting with people. But I have kids who are active in sports so I have to. I hide as much as I can to avoid interaction like just today I hid in the car watching my daughter prActice somi didnt have to talk to any.one Short term memory is shot. Underwater feeling. Its like drilling through concrete instead of gliding on water to get information out of my brain.
I want to cry because of watching everyone else easily converse with each other and knowing how tough even that is.
Posted by lyme in Putnam (Member # 11561) on :
Still stuck in hell. Had a week a few weeks go, back with a vengeance. It's taken so much me away from myself and familyband friends. Today I just wanted to die. Went to Lyme walk, raised close to 250.00. This is a punishment no one deserves. Sorry all stuck. It truly is hell on earth.
Posted by LymeCFIDSMCS (Member # 13573) on :
For me at times it feels like amnesia, but I *can* remember some things -- they just don't seem connected to me or my history (since I don't feel connected to me or my history), so I can't register that they are what they are.
Time goes by in a flash. Each day seems like nothing. It's as if imagining time is just too exhausting and my body only wants to go from sleep to sleep.
A waking dream, but not a creative one. My creativity is gone. Imagination is gone. Ability to deal with basic things or even make a list is close to gone.
I forget to stay connected to people. It's not that I feel antisocial, it's just that I don't feel an emotional connection to anyone any more the way I used to, and often that leads to me just forgetting about them. This is kind of a good thing since I'm too sick to socialize anyway, but still weird to not have the drive.
Not sure if bartonella or babesia is the main culprit for me. I have babesia duncani and not microti, and many of these symptoms started with babesia and not with bart (which I got 3 years before babs), but my case of bart is really bad too so who knows.
I hate it! But I'm grateful for this thread as it's really helpful to read other people's accounts of this.
Posted by lyme in Putnam (Member # 11561) on :
Anyone this bad, what treatment ate you on, what relieved hell. Little olive, got yours. I'm on rocephin almost 7 weeks. Oral zithro. I hate going to bed cause i hate waking up to this and another day in paradise.
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