quote:

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Originally posted by aroth:

I just tried to fall asleep, but the buzzing in my ears kept me awake.

I could call a number of different people for support, and they would (with good intention) tell me things that I already know.

Sometimes I don't want to be reminded that things will get better, that the ringing will stop, that I will be able to run around effortlessly again.

In moments of clarity, these things comfort me- but when I feel sad and defeated, nothing makes me feel better in the present.

I like the prospect that someone here may know exactly what I am talking about.I am so tired of crying about this.

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Welcome again. Crying helps us get rid of extra stress too so don't worry about that.

My pc is on strike tonight, and I can't get into my wordprocessor for some newbie links of helpfulness.

So go to MEDICAL, 1st screen, and look for TREEPATROL'S NEWBIE LINKS! Print off the list of wonderful links, and check them off as you read the most important ones first. He updates regularly too.

Now read down thru the links, are you finding anything that may deal with your subject area?

We are ALL walking in each other's shoes; so that alone is very comforting to me.

Ringing/buzzing we all go thru; we just can't want until it quits! We'd ALL love to go into remission and have QUALITY OF LIFE back; that's all of our goals. Again welcome.

Next time, hit the enter button often for us neuro lymies; we just can't read/comprehend long continuous posts. Thanks so much for joining us.
 

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Posted by JeffM (Member # 8919) on :
 
I know how you feel.

When people try to cheer me up, sometimes it feels like they are minimizing how miserable this disease is, and how misable and hopeless I feel.

I think it is overall good to have hope.

But I think also sometimes we just also need to admit we feel helpless and discouraged.

I personally have to be very careful about those feelings, because neuropsych lyme symptoms can start up and it can trigger an unusual and atypical depression.

I am learning that for me every day some anger or despair will arise. I don't try to suppress it now. But I don't feed it, either.

This disease can feel like it goes on and on.

I am taking it one day at a time.
 

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Posted by bettyg (Member # 6147) on :
 
As I was reading my email tonight, I got this, and wanted to share it with you for what it is worth.

And God Said

I said, "god, I hurt."
And god said, "I know."
I said, "god, I cry a lot."
And god said, "that is why I gave you tears."

I said, "god, I am so depressed."
And god said, "that is why I gave you sunshine."

I said, "god, life is so hard."
And god said, "that is why I gave you loved ones."

I said, "god, my loved one died."
And god said, "so did mine."

I said, "god, it is such a loss."
And god said, "I saw mine nailed to a cross."

I said, "god, but your loved one lives."
And god said, "so does yours."

I said, "god, where are they now?"
And god said, "mine is on my right
and yours is in the light."

I said, "god, it hurts."
And god said, "I know."

Bettyg
 

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Posted by shazdancer (Member # 1436) on :
 
Hi aroth,

Sorry you're feeling so crappy just now.

Yes, LYME SUX!!!

Dontcha just wanna give it to some mean schmuck who deserves it?

Hope you can do something nice for yourself today.

Take care,
Shaz
 

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Posted by map1131 (Member # 2022) on :
 
betty, that was wow. I'd never read that before.

Thanks, Pam
 

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Posted by Biting Back (Member # 6018) on :
 
Hi there aroth. So sorry you're going through the ear buzzing thing. It's enough to drive you over the edge, isn't it?

Yes, in moments of clarity a well meaning friend can comfort you. When you're in the midst of a lyme crisis there just isn't anywhere to go to get away from the pain, depression, anxiety and sheer terror.

If we could only step outside our bodies until it passes. Sigh.

I know there's nothing I can say or do to make you feel better. I just wanted you to know you're in good company.

Hoping you have brighter minutes, hours and days soon.
 

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Posted by Linda LD (Member # 6663) on :
 
I don't get the ear buzzing any more--but I did when I was really little. I would never tell anyone because I was afraid they would tease me.

I remember how scary it was--hopefully it will pass--but you are not alone. We all know how miserable this dang illness is.

God bless,
Linda
 

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Posted by aroth (Member # 8934) on :
 
thank you all for your words- they give me comfort and validation.

I was particularly taken with Biting Back's statement about "leaving our bodies until it passes" I have been struggling with this- the dichotomy between wanting to nurture my body so it will make me better and hating it for letting me feel like this.

The toughest times may be when your mind is ready to go and work and explore- and your body can't muster up the energy. It makes me feel betrayed.
 

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Posted by AZURE WISH (Member # 804) on :
 
Sometimes I have buzzing and I know it is very annoying especially when it lasts a while...

I turn the tv up or listen to the radio loud.... it seems to distract from it a little.

I know what you mean about feeling betrayed by your body.

I am an artist and I have all these ideas for art projects that my body couldn't even begin to make... just not physically possible at this time....

Just know you are not alone and many of us are going through and/or have been thru the same things.

Best wishes
 

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Posted by BostonLyme2005 (Member # 7680) on :
 
Lyme F-ing Sucks!
 

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Posted by Andie333 (Member # 7370) on :
 
you said it, Rob!
 

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Posted by bettyg (Member # 6147) on :
 
roth,
Dana posted this site today for the feeling crappy post, and I thought you should have it now too.

www.positivepause.com ... fantastic movie and words. When you get to the end, you can view other things like this. How about bookmarking it for your "down" days/months? I just did.
Bettyg
 

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Posted by aroth (Member # 8934) on :
 
thank you for that web link bettyg.

I struggle to focus on the right now because everything with Lyme is stated in the future. "You will feel better soon. The side effects will pass." Therefore, I find myself looking forward to that moment in the future when I am better.

This is not to say that there are not up days to match the down days.

I really love my life- but I cannot participate in it as much as I would like. That destroys me.

What makes you all feel better when you are stuck in those really bad "lyme crises"?
 

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Posted by Moose (Member # 8545) on :
 
Yea, I've had the buzzing too, but I didn't realize it right away.

At first I thought I was hearing things, which I really didn't. It's kind of funny, cuz I am DEAF and am not supposed to hear things and suddenly I started wondering if I was getting some 'hearing' back or what.

I asked my other family members if they heard things and they looked at me like I was crazy. So I just try my best to tune out that buzzing, by focusing on other things to get my mind off it.

I know it's not easy to do, but that's just the best way to go in the meantime until it goes away.
 

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Posted by aroth (Member # 8934) on :
 
I have another question.
do the spouses/partners of people with Lyme disease ever write on these message boards? I am looking for an outlet for my boyfriend's frustrations.
 

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Posted by Andie333 (Member # 7370) on :
 
aroth,

In my short time on Lymenet, I've seen posts by parents, partners, siblings and friends.

Some seem to come for information; others for solace and some just to express their own fears and frustrations.

I know from my own partner and parents that it can be terrifying to see someone you love in the kind of shape so many of us are in.

This can be a powerful outlet.

Andie
 

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Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
 
Hi aroth! Welcome! We're so glad to have you!

I'm sorry you feel so lousy! I remember thinking all the time how much I hated my body. Then I would try being more positive toward my body [notice I said TRY!]

It was a constant battle to try to remain in a positive mode! AAARRRGGH!!!

But in the end, I WON! I still have plenty of things wrong with me, but for the most part I'm doing great!

Took a long time to get to where I am, but I'm here!! [or is it THERE???]

Just keep plugging away and you'll make it. Your friends here will be your greatest support, most likely....because we understand!

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betty...that really was cool what you posted!!
 

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