This is topic I have no fight left in forum General Support at LymeNet Flash.


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Posted by KarenB (Member # 10510) on :
 
Hi all,

I have been having a rough time of it for the last 2 wks.

Went back to lyme doc on Wed. Changed my abx and added some other supplements.

Gave me an IV of vitamins to boost my immune system. Feel worse!!

Just finished breaking down crying with my husband (thank god for him). I think this is the worst i have felt.

What's worst is my children saw this. I hate this horrible disease. I'm sorry I'm so depressing right now.

Can't take it anymore. I want my life back

I've only just started here, but thank god I found all of you.

I am absolutely exhausted and if it were not for the fact that I love my children and husband I would ask god not to let me wake up tomorrow.

Just having a really sucky day
 
Posted by Andie333 (Member # 7370) on :
 
Hey, Karen!

I just wanted to let you know I read your message and am keeping you and your family in my thoughts.

You're right -- it's a nasty, awful disease -- and getting through it is really tough. Thankfully, you've got your husband's support and those kids...

Just hang in there and try to be easy on yourself. It all takes time, and it feels scary and awful.

But beating this is possible. That's the thing to remember when it seems pretty bleak.

When I was just starting treatment, my LLMD told me it would likely get much worse before it started to get better. And that's what happened. Worse...and then much worse. And finally, finally months later, better.

You take care of yourself and get some rest.

[group hug]

Andie
 
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
 
Been there and done that. You will have many bad days, or weeks or months....but you WILL get better! Keep plugging away and working at it.

The up and down stuff is really the hardest sometimes. Feel better one day, WHAM the next.

just keep the faith and keep hugging that husband....and your kids! [group hug]
 
Posted by am36 (Member # 9409) on :
 
hi Karen

I was there yesterday. not there today (yet?).

Crying is good. Nothing to feel guilty about. I did it for the first time in a while yesterday. Maybe it helped me feel better (emotionally at least) today.
 
Posted by Cobweb (Member # 10053) on :
 
When I have no fight left- I don't fight it- I accept it, I cry, I go back to bed, I tear up my to do list and tell myself to hang in one more day, and I give myself the day off. I hang on the words of those before me who demonstrate that things will get better. I go by faith. I stick with the winners.

Carol B
 
Posted by 3greatkids (Member # 3838) on :
 
Oh Lord Honey,I have been there too!

Fighting this stuff is the hardest thing I have ever
done in my life!Sounds like you have a good support system there,so,take a deep breath,know everything will be OK,communicate w/ hubby and use that "down time" to get better.

This is a time to have no guilt....this is a time for you to get better.I know it is hard,not being there for your family and having them to see you so sick.Many of us have been in the same shoes.Yes,it is hard.Throw out the planner,or better yet,fill in those spots w/ time to heal,time to heal.Take all of the help that comes your way,let them know down the road,you will do the same!

There have been many days,I have tried to get out of bed and instead pulled those covers right back up.So, the center of the house became the bedroom,couch.Take care of you Mom.

One thing to remember,while you are fighting this stuff,keep in touch w/ your kids.Let them know you are and probably will hit some bumpy roads,but you will get better!!!!! ;)Don't leave them out of the loop,hey,homework is fun sitting on the bed,piled w/ books,pencils,eracers!Ouch,make sure to get them off before you crash!!!!!

So,put on your fighting gloves,you can do it.We are here for you.Make sure those kids know, you will give it your all and soon you will be back in action.Takes time [group hug]
 
Posted by AZURE WISH (Member # 804) on :
 
I am so soryy things are so tough now.

Glad you have a supportive husband.

Even if they didnt "see" they would still know... kids are super observers.

Having been a kid once (although I havent been for eternitys now)

I can say it was always worse when something was hid from me... because I would know something was wrong and my kid imagination always thought up something much worse then what existed in reality...

so I think communicating with your kids is a good idea.

All I can say is hang in there. It does get better so please dont loose hope.

Best wishes [group hug]
 
Posted by KarenB (Member # 10510) on :
 
Thank you everyone for all the support

I'm still crying, oh well. couldn't sleep last night, drove around from 2am to 3am listening to Van Morrison

I know I will feel better and I hang on to that everyday

I need to go back to bed

Love and thanks

karen
 
Posted by LisaS (Member # 10581) on :
 
Hi Karen, Hang in there! I know what youre saying. It hits me in the shower evey day for some reason. I get in there and thats when I feel my weakest. My legs go numb and I start panicing about the day. I break down every morning. Then I gotta just continually tell myself, take it minute by minute. Im crying now but in a little while this mood will pass... I put on Better Than Ezra, my favorite group to try to distract my thought away from Lyme disease. So cheers to Van Morrison and Better Than Ezra and anything that can help anyone through this horrible disease! Ill pray for you also. Lisa
 
Posted by 5dana8 (Member # 7935) on :
 
HI Karen

Sorry you are having such a hard time. [Frown] It must be extreamely difficult to be sick & take care of little ones too.

I try to take each day at a time or minuet at a time.

Here's a site I go to to keep me going thru hard times.

Hang in there and rest when you can [group hug]

I got worse durning treatment but better over time.

www.positivepause.com
 
Posted by am36 (Member # 9409) on :
 
quote:


I'm still crying, oh well. couldn't sleep last night, drove around from 2am to 3am listening to Van Morrison

[/QB]

hey, I was down the other day, and found video clips of the Eagles Hotel California over like a 30-something year period. Saw it too many times, but kinda humerous watching all of us age!
 
Posted by KarenB (Member # 10510) on :
 
It's amazing how little things make me happy these days

Some people would call me a nutcase for driving around at 2am listening to Van Morrison

Gotta tell you, I sang my heart out

You are right about letting my children know what I'm feeling.

My 13 year old daughter worries but understands, my 6 year old son gives the best hugs

My 9 year old with Down Syndrome just lives everyday the same. Pretty much happy, very strong willed and silly.

He does get it believe it or not. He likes to kiss my boo boo (wherever that might be) He wears me out, but I keep going

Thanks all
 
Posted by hopeful123 (Member # 3244) on :
 
god bless and take care.

((((hugs))))
 
Posted by kumba (Member # 7733) on :
 
I so hear you Karen, as I cry everyday...at one point. am new to all this too, but have been feeling ill for a long time. I think in part, many of us have been misdiagnosed, treated with inappropriate modalities, been in b/t specialist that cant agree...it wreaks havoc on you. And the dx and rx of Lyme in itself is a tough one...add to the mix the controversy..and the evasive nature of the disease (other than the sx, lol). I enjoy reading the success stories as it uplifts me...but also people like you and others here who are going thru the tough times...we can share, learn and give emotional support. My best to you on your road to recovery.
 


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