LymeNet Flash: a real doctor exists

This is topic a real doctor exists in forum General Support at LymeNet Flash.

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Posted by she7 (Member # 11244) on :

I begged borrowed and sold everything I could to gather the $ to go to springfield.

I have no idea how I will afford the treatment yet.

But thank God for this doctor. I was paranoid, out of my mind and had little hope.

BUt he was kind, and listened, and took the time to review my information and history.

He told me I wasn't crazy. He told me I DO have lyme, borreliosis, etc....

He told me he would treat me -that I could improve.

He treated me like A HUMAN BEING.

If I never do improve- that in itself was the best thing to happen to me in years,

But leaving his office I had hope that I will improve. And I realized that my prayers were heard and answered.

I cried in his office. from relief, from sadness at all the doctors who mistreated and misdiagnosed me. At all the "experts" that couldn't give me the time of day.

But mostly from gratitude.

When I began the drive home I had to pull over and break down emotionally.

For years I have been pretending I was ok to maintain a job, to get by. To keep people from recoiling.

I decided a few years back that i would tough out the pain I experience everyday. I ignored it. I ignored the hallucinations and fevers.

I hid my vomiting and my nausea from anyone around me- always put on a smile and brushed my teeth. On my first date with my ex boyfriend I said I thought I had eaten bad fish. I lied.

I learned that telling doctors in st. Louis that I had pain caused them to write me off as a person who wanted pain meds- or because they didn't believe i had lyme- they said I was making it up. I believed I would be in pain the rest of my life. In silence. sometimes i pretended that it was the "bed of nails" thing- like I had to hurt to stay in a higher state of mind. I gave in.

The doctor mentioned that many of his patients complain of pain as one of their worst symptoms. I realized that I had not even written it down for him- I am so used to hiding it.

So on the way home I finally cried. I screamed. I got angry. I let myself feel all of the last several years. And the protective layer of anger that has fueled me to keep moving just broke away. Now I cant stop crying.

I felt something spiritual on my trip. something inside me knows that it was the right thing to go.

i know there is a journey ahead- but at least there is a direction to travel in.

This man in springfield- I am grateful that he exists. There are real doctors. He is proof.

Thank you for encouraging me to seek further treatment- to keep trying to find help, for reassuring me that there was help to be found.

I am still upset that there is such terrible ignorance about this disease. I am still angry that people suffer this way.

But I am so glad that some one tries to help. that someone cares about us.

With out hope I was dying inside... I had pretty much given up.

I am so glad that there is a lyme flash.net

I feel hopeful- and although all the tears I've stuffed inside for years seem to be coming out now-

I am so glad I went to see this doctor.
If my health does not improve- something has healed already. Some part of my heart, and this is such a valuable gift.

Posted by Kendrick (Member # 10990) on :

Wish you well in fighting this terrible affliction.

Posted by bettyg (Member # 6147) on :

happy you found him and were SATISFIED; can't stay awy; going to bd. [Wink]

Posted by heiwalove (Member # 6467) on :

so happy you found him. i have heard so many wonderful things about him, he is truly one of the best doctors there is.

i wish so much that lyme docs had some way to financially help patients who just can't afford such expensive treatment.. some sort of scholarship fund or sliding scale or SOMETHING.

i wish you all the best. hang in there. you WILL get better.

xoxox
heather.

Posted by Cathy DeVoe (Member # 11271) on :

She7,

I can relate so well. The tears, the profound sadness and the unexplainable hope that you had lost.

The ability to let go and full be true to yourself about just hoe bad this disease is.

You sound so brave...courageous. You will heal over time. Keep us updated on your progress

Cathy

Posted by Michelle M (Member # 7200) on :

Awesome news, She. It IS sad what we have to go through to get diagnosis and treatment! Focus on getting well. That hope you now have will help a LOT! I too am grateful for LymeNet and being pointed to my present LLMD, without whom I seriously believe I'd be dead.

Keep posting through the ups and downs!

[group hug]

Michelle

Posted by Geneal (Member # 10375) on :

Dear She,

Your experience sounds a lot like mine when I first saw my LLMD.

I prayed found Lymenet.

I prayed and Tutu helped me find my LLMD.

I prayed and my LLMD is truly a gift from God to me.

I wondered how you were doing. The gift of hope is priceless, really.

I am so grateful that you went.

We are here for you as you begin that journey down the road to feeling better.

It is at times a bumpy road with potholes and obstacles in the way.

You hold on to that Hope with both hands, and when you need someone to give you more....we're here.

Hugs,

Geneal

Posted by stymielymie (Member # 10044) on :

I'M VERY HAPPY YOU FOUND A DECENT LLMD

if the doc decides rocephin is the treatment
you can look into this website for help.

http://www.rocheusa.com/programs/patientassist.asp

good luck and keep in touch.

docdave [group hug]

Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :

I'm so glad you were able to get there. SO GLAD!!!

Be sure to continue coming here for support, OK?? We'll hold your hand when you need it. We'll offer our shoulders to cry on.

Posted by just don (Member # 1129) on :

She,

My suggestion,,,from your other thread, I do follow your situation.

Call your ex, as you call him, right now,appologize profusely for smacking him on the way home. Explain it wasnt him,,,it was YOUR frustrations you were lashing out at.

Offer to make it up to him in some small way. Dont burn this bridge behind you. You MAY need his help again,,hope NOT,,,but you 'might'.

My congratulations with going also,,,the longest journey back to health begins with this first step!!!

Now keep formulating a plan,,,might not work, but keep trying,dont ever stop!!!

Now IF I can get enough credibility built up,,,maybe I can make enough sense to HELP someone!!!still being--just don--

Posted by Yashin (Member # 11159) on :

that is great that you are finally diagnosed correctly! i wish you the best with your treatment.

Yashin

Posted by savebabe (Member # 9847) on :

I am so glad to hear that you found a llmd that gave you some anwsers, but prepare yourself for the long journey ahead. It can take years of treatment and a ton of patience to pull through this disease. The good news is that many of us get better, and continue on.
Good luck with the start of your treatment. Please keep us udated on your progress. [Wink]

Posted by mississippilyme (Member # 11205) on :

You go girl! [group hug]

You must know how happy I am for you.

Just to finally talk to Dr. C and know you aren't the only person in the world with this mess helps, doesn't it.

I can't believe you had to go alone. You are a very strong person, with Gods help and the knowledge you now have you will get better soon.

I know the amount of information he gave you is overwhelming. I'll be glad to help you figure out any part of it. Please feel free to ask.

I have read for 37 months and still run across things that I missed. I am learning. You must learn too how to survive this mess.

With the proper tools, now in hand, get ready, get set, GO.

Happy healing. I love good endings, don't you?

I am sure he told you about the rabbit and the turtle. I have been the turtle and I'm still winning the race. You can too!

Sherry [woohoo]

Posted by HEATHERKISS (Member # 6789) on :

Dear She7,

We are all so very happy you have and LLMD.
You may start to feel some relief sooner than you think.

I had Lyme undiagnosed 7 years before getting treatment. After 5 weeks of biaxin I felt the pain in my hands go away.

I hope you start to feel relief very soon.

Something that is very helpful is keeping a pain journal and medicine journal.

When you look back months from now you might see some improvements. I was floored when I looked back.

Love and Healing

Posted by Tincup (Member # 5829) on :

Hope you don't mind.. I shared your wonderful letter with some LLMD's so they will know their efforts are helping folks.. and to give them an example of how patients really feel.

You will certainly lift their spirits with your kind words. And that is something they REALLY need.

Thank you!

[Big Grin]

Posted by chroniccosmic (Member # 7789) on :

She,

I share your sentiment as I too cried in his office. You are right, he is wonderful and I am getting better each day. Getting to that doc's office was the pivotal turning point for me. So happy for you.

Send me a PM if you like, I'm right across the river. [hi]