Just wondering if any of you were able to forgive family/friends that accused you of making up/imagining your illness? I had a few that really crossed the line and so far I have just used avoidance. I seriously doubt that they will ever apologize.
Posted by lymie_in_md (Member # 14197) on :
Yes all the time. I don't blame them for what I feel is a condition response. We were all somewhat brainwashed by the Medical Community and their power over disease with drugs at very early ages. We were brainwashed by the ADA about the safety of amalgams. I know a DDS in my family, who still maintains their safety. He is strongly convinced and maintains the ADA viewpoint.
However, ignorance comes in all shape sizes and levels of education. You shouldn't blame yourself for their ignorance. If they have an agenda call them out on it. If they have a lack of understanding of the disease, just state if you truly care, here's a list of resources to review (always have a list ready: just added "Cure Unknown" to my list). When they had reviewed them, you'd have something to discuss with them, otherwise they are just plain ignorant of the issue and not worth anybodies time.
Posted by lou4656 (Member # 10300) on :
Sooner -- Don't forgive them for their own good. Forgive them for YOUR own good.
You are carrying enough with you right now in dealing with getting well. It does not help your healing to add the weight of anger, resentment or bitterness to the load you are already carrying.
And truly . . . medicine has taught people that when all the medical tests come back negative, that the cause of symptoms may be mental or emotional. So those people who had accused you of "imagining" your illness were only going by what they THOUGHT they knew.
Forgiveness is freeing! You don't have to forgive them to their face. Just forgive them in your heart. Let all those negative feelings go.
Imagine those negative feelings in the palms of your hands, close your eyes, and blow them away. Let the wind carry them somewhere else.
Please, just try it. You may find that you feel lighter and cleaner. It is worth a try.
Posted by bejoy (Member # 11129) on :
I realized that people who have not been through what I have been through can't possibly get what I had to deal with and what this is all about.
I had the choice of wishing my illness on them, or being glad that they have never had to suffer the way I have.
I chose to be grateful that they can't know what I am talking about, and hopefully never will. This allowed me to forgive and let it go.
That, and I know you guys get it, so I know I am not alone.
Here's a previous post on my process about that, if you are interested:
Thanks guys for all your responses! I know in my head that I should forgive them mainly for me. I truly think this has taught me more about the people around me than it did about myself. I mean what can you say about people that can see numerous brain lesions on your MRI and then tell you that you are just imagining all the numbness?
I LOVE the survival party idea! The invitations could be shaped like ticks...or spirochetes. I do feel like a survivor. I have a lot to be grateful for. My husband was really supportive, but it wasn't until he got sick also that he really understood. I guess I am tired of being angry and need to just blow it all away! I just want to REALLY live again, with no regrets.
Thanks, Stacey
Posted by sixgoofykids (Member # 11141) on :
Forgive them? Sure. Be their best friend? No. I know they're not there for me, which is a big part of what friendship is all about.
Them not believing me is a deficit in their character. Not forgiving them would be a deficit in mine.
And, no, I do not go out of my way to see these people. Thankfully, they live very far away.
Posted by Larkspur (Member # 5131) on :
This is my own personal take on the idea and where I am in my own journey.
I realize others may have a different view on this subject, just from my own experience...
I have learned to forgive the past.
That means I have integrated the idea that things/ people's actions /circumstances etc can not change - what is done is done
This is really "acceptance" - it's still a challenge sometimes.
However, I think not dealing with real anger and emotions, "making" yourself forgive before you are ready because you think you "should" is also dangerous and bad for our health
Feel what you feel and let it ride it's course. If you need distance from certain people, let yourself have it.
You will know when/if it is the right time to forgive those that have hurt you.