These are from Church Signs (pg.158 Walk with Me today Lord - daily devotional)
1. Don't let worry kill you, Let the Church help.
2. Thursday night potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
3. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our Church and community.
4. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
5. The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
6. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
7. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
8. Weight Watchers will meet at 8 P.M. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double doors at the side entrance.
9. Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and the deterioration of some older ones.
10. The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
Laughter is the best medicine. Some of these I have never heard before - How about you - do you have any accidental "funnies"?
Posted by glm1111 (Member # 16556) on :
Peedie,
These are hilarious and just so speaks to why the Buddha is laughing. Thanks for posting. I needed that,
Gael
Posted by Peedie (Member # 15355) on :
To "error" is human Perfection is divine
11. Free Coffee, Everlasting Life Yes, Membership has it's privileges!
12. The Easter Bunny didn't rise from the dead.
Posted by Geneal (Member # 10375) on :
Our next song is "Angels we have heard get high".
"Tuesday at 4:00pm we are having an ice-cream social. Ladies who are giving milk, please come early."
"Scouts are collecting aluminum cans, bottles and other items for recycling. Proceeds will be used to cripple children".
"Ladies Bible Studay will be held Thursday morning at 10:00. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship hall after the B.S. is done."
"Ladies don't forget the rummage sale. It is a good time to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."
Hugs,
Geneal
Posted by Peedie (Member # 15355) on :
Ohhh....that's good! So Funny! Keep the "funny" coming!
Posted by Tincup (Member # 5829) on :
Posted by bettyg (Member # 6147) on :
check out LYMETOO'S LAUGHTER POST; whenever she started there with 1 joke, i've added daily/weekly since ... over 500 - 1000 jokes/links, etc. there!
Posted by steve1906 (Member # 16206) on :
Question and Answer Valentine Jokes
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? A: Forget-me-nuts.
Q: What did the valentine card say to the stamp? A: Stick with me and we'll go places!
Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope? A: I'm stuck on you.
Q: Who sends a thousand valentines cards signed', guess who' ? A: A divorce lawyer.
Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch? A: You turn me on.
Q: Did Adam and Eve ever have a date? A: No, but they had an apple.
Q: What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus? A: Can I hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand? Valentine Joke
Q: What did one snake say to the other snake? A: Give me a little hug and a hiss, honey. Knock, Knock, Who's there? Olive Olive who? Olive you!
Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune? A: Because it couldn't get a date.
Q: What is a ram's favourite song on February 14th? A: I only have eyes for ewe, dear
Q: What travels around the world but stays in one corner? A: A stamp.
Q: What happens when you fall in love with a French chef? A: You get buttered up.
Q: What is a vampire's sweetheart called? A: His ghoul-friend.
Q: If your aunt ran off to get married, what would you call her? A: Antelope.
I hope your laughing!!! Steve
Posted by Silverwolf (Member # 9196) on :
Hi there <<<<< Lyme-rs >>>>>,
Did you hear about the new corderoy pillow cases? They're making headlines everywhere!!!
One of TxC's work buddies sent this groaner by e-mail! OY!!!
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