written on my grave marker.
Posted by lou (Member # 81) on :
Yes, frequently families are not as supportive as we could wish. Friends also.
Posted by kam (Member # 3410) on :
RB
I would not have even responded to that email. Wasted use of precious energy and added stress which we don't need. I heard one person say that she learned when she first got sick to seperate those things which she can deal with and those she can not.
She called it not my monkey. Sorry, can't recall the whole story.
I recall reading or hearing about a report on so called "American Made Cars. Honda had the highest percentage of using the US for different components that it takes to build a car.
All the companies have parts made in different countries now.
Hoping you will have people in your life that even if they don't understand they still make life more do able.
I find those people are few and far between and it is a gift that most people do not have.
Posted by METALLlC BLUE (Member # 6628) on :
I usually respond to these threads and my question is always the same. If family is the most fundamental unit that enables our survival, then why do they always respond with the same exact patterns in response to Chronic Lyme Disease?
It's always the same.
Either they don't believe you and alienate you and do just about everything that is opposite of what you need to recover.
Or
They believe you but are skeptical that it's Lyme or that you're sick, but not "that" sick.
Or
They support you entirely without a doubt.
Am I wrong here? The patterns are nearly identical across the world and I don't grasp how family units that are generally healthy mind you -- not dysfunctional families -- and do this?
Dysfunctional families are expected to treat people like ****, same with marriages or other relationships that are poison, but the average family without prior issues?
It's insane.
Posted by METALLlC BLUE (Member # 6628) on :
Even worse is the trite and trivial things that they harp about on the chronically ill. I mean seriously, a foreign car purchase? Jesus Christ. These people make it seem like we go out of our way to **** them off and disrespect them.
When I recover, there is no way in hell I'm going to carry on a relationship with any of the people who doubted me or didn't support me. I might forgive their ignorance but why would I ever befriend or maintain a relationship with someone who won't be there when the hammer falls.
Posted by RESOLVED. (Member # 24991) on :
"Jesus Christ", Metallic? Not trying to be confrontational, but please let's not reduce His name to a curse word.
Posted by cjfrank (Member # 26985) on :
I think that my parents have become members of the Infectious Disease people. They seem to think that since I had the doxy for 10 days and then again for 10 days that I should be all better.
I can't discuss any of my issues with them at all. They now want me to find a new doctor and not tell him/her anything about the Lyme and get a new diagnosis.
They refuse to listen. Simple as that. So now when they ask me how I am I just say fine and leave it at that.
Posted by lou (Member # 81) on :
There is another category, Mike, that you didn't include. The family members who know you are sick, believe you, but keep their distance, never ask about your health, mostly don't want to know, because they might be expected to help. In short, the ones who are sick and tired of your problems, even if you haven't expected or asked for much help.
Posted by nellers78 (Member # 26774) on :
I can totally relate. I get more sympathy from people when I tell them I have the flu. Seems like most people have a hard time giving sympathy if they can't relate.
Posted by METALLlC BLUE (Member # 6628) on :
quote:Originally posted by lou: There is another category, Mike, that you didn't include. The family members who know you are sick, believe you, but keep their distance, never ask about your health, mostly don't want to know, because they might be expected to help. In short, the ones who are sick and tired of your problems, even if you haven't expected or asked for much help.
That was actually the second one, -- or...well at least that's what I intended.
It's so frustrating!
Posted by novy (Member # 25987) on :
kam hit the nail on head ... i can't back it up with actual factual proof but i don't think any car made in america is made of solely american made parts-
my husband and a few of his friend's had gotten into that debate to the point of it actually putting pressure on the three relationships involved- evidently, it's a delicate subject-
as far as family support is concerned ... i was faced with the same type of stuff, all while being so sick and feeling that you wouldn't wish what you had/have on an uncle who was 7 times removed even if he didn't believe you were sick-
but i watched this documentary called the horse boy, about a family with an autistic son whose condition improves when he's around horses and other animals, and how they travel to seek out help for him from shamans in Mongolia- anyways, during the documentary, some doctor talks about how the Mongolians don't shun their sick but in fact do the opposite and raise them up to a higher position in the tribe or whatever, making them feel more included, more normal- loved-
can you imagine that?!
Posted by arkiehinny (Member # 26546) on :
I guess I've been really fortunate that the majority of my family is very supportive, especially my husband & sister. Hubby watched 'Under Our Skin'. My overly intelligent brother is a bit skeptical.
He says, "how do you know it's Lyme if your test wasn't postive?" Ding! You know the deal, but he has been concerned. The only real doubt darts thrown my way have been from outsiders.
Posted by jeffe (Member # 13034) on :
I think its a cultural issue.
half of the people out there like to push people down to push themselves up. Also if the doctors don't know it puts primal fear in people if you are right they need to do more for their health. Its easier to demonize someone then admit change is needed. Also misery likes company. chronic lyme i think has a genetic disposition. alot of family have lyme dont know it and protect their own symptoms by pointing out others. They are so engulfed in this self protection they cannot see what they are doing or that they are sick themselves. Also lyme decreases conscieness in some people which i think would increase ones ego and self rightiousness.
Posted by kam (Member # 3410) on :
Novy...I saw horse boy....still gives me chills.
Posted by mtree (Member # 14305) on :
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mtree