Today I dragged myself out of bed and took some goodies and a gift to my special-needs son because today he turns 12.
When I got to the school he was lying quietly on a beanbag in the corner of the room. The teacher told me he has an aura of sadness about him since he left his caregiver last week.
I was so hoping that he wouldn't think of her much. He always used to live in the moment but he's maturing and understands more than he did.
He gave me a little bit of a smile when I gave him his birthday present, then he grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the door. He wanted me to take him home. It broke my heart.
I so wish I could keep him with me. He looked clean and well-cared for so I'm happy with the emergency respite lady who is caring for him for now. I just can't stand that he is grieving and can't tell anyone because he's non-verbal.
I had to leave because I was crying in the classroom and I didn't want to upset the children. I miss him dreadfully.
I am going to lie down now.
- Julie
Posted by jlp38 (Member # 27221) on :
now i'm crying for you. so sorry.
Posted by Misfit (Member # 26270) on :
My heart is breaking for you. I wish that i had some words of comfort but i doubt they exist right now. Just know that you and your precious son are in my thoughts and prayers.
Posted by INEBG (Member # 27690) on :
My heart aches for you. It's always sad when we see our children's sorrow, especialy so when they can't express themselves. Your son has moved to a new home; it is natural for him to feel some loss as he adjusts to his new situation. I hope soon a permanent placement will be found. Thank goodness he has the continuity of his class, and of the love of you and the rest of his family.
Posted by jlp38 (Member # 27221) on :
been thinking of you and your son all day. hoping he adjusts to his new situation quickly and easily
Posted by sammy (Member # 13952) on :
Julie, I'm so sorry. It is such a heartbreaking situation all around. I've been thinking of you and your family today, praying that God will comfort, bless, and provide for you all. Hang in there.
Posted by we'll win (Member # 11112) on :
Julie, I don't know the whole situation- this is the first I am reading of it.
But obviously you and your son are going through much pain.
I wish I had a magic wand, but don't. All I can offer you is my empathy, sympathy, and support.
It might be a cliche, but I do think time makes things better.
You and your son are in my heart.
We'll Win
Posted by lymeladyinNY (Member # 10235) on :
Thanks, everybody. Your encouragement and support means more to me than I can express.
Tomorrow my husband and I are going to get Nicky for a weekend visit. I can't wait to see him. Mommy is going to shower him with love and affection.
He also has another new toy waiting for him here. It's a toy piano. He just loves to listen to the demo button on toy pianos. He gets so excited about them that sometimes he smashes and breaks the toy. We'll keep providing so long as the Dollar General keeps selling them!
I'm hoping that frequent visits with us will help him as he grieves for his old care provider. I'm going to try to be upbeat for him.
Love to you all - Julie
Posted by Tammy N. (Member # 26835) on :
I am so so sorry for this sadness and struggle. I can't even imagine. Life can be so challenging. I hope bright, happy days are ahead in the not-too-distant future. Thoughts are with you and your son.