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Posted by Laura_W (Member # 31491) on :
 
I'm being made fun of by several kids here at the apartment complex. And, I believe some of them are my 9 year old sons friends.

Last week it happened on the bus ride home for the kids, as well as at the playground. Times where I was not around.

It is hurting my kids. They are torn. My daughter just told me last night, and felt guilty because she didn't tell me sooner. I'm sure my son is embarassed as well as angry.

From what I got from my daughter, I'm being called fat, lazy, mean, and maybe gimp?

I have depersonalization/ lack of empathy issues, from the Lyme for the last year or so... and I won't let my son's so called friends bully him when I see it.

And, my kid's friends are always able to come over to our house to play...(we are the only house here in the complex that lets multiple kids come to play) but, it is normally a mess. I am a single mom, and there are days where going up the stairs to my apartment wipes me out, let alone house work.

So, I do see how they think that I am lazy.

I'm not sure how to help my kids cope. They are already hurting because of my Lyme. I already can't do soo much with them because of this disease. And now their "friends" are making things worse.

My children do see a counselor, and I will bring it up in the next session. But, would love some of your experienced insight.
 
Posted by linky123 (Member # 19974) on :
 
So sorry to hear this. It's hard to see our kids being hurt. You're a great mom to do what you do in spite of being ill. Try not to let it get you down too much.

I will keep you and your kids in my prayers.

Take care and God bless.
 
Posted by James1979 (Member # 31926) on :
 
Yes this is a very sad story. Kids can be very mean sometimes.

I just want to mention that I was bullied a lot when I was a kid, and in some ways I believe it builds character. In other words - it's not always bad.

Of course sometimes there can be too much bullying which could cause psychological problems on the kids. But most times I think the kids learn how to create their own defense strategies, and it helps them through the rest of their lives.

I hope you start feeling better soon.
 
Posted by scorpiogirl (Member # 31907) on :
 
Educate them... if you have not seen Under our Skin, sit down and watch it w/ your kids.

We watch it at least once a month... a great resource but also a great reminder how sick Mommy really is. My kids know Lyme Disease so well they are educating other kids! I also talk about my disease every chance I get to anyone and everyone.

The only way to fight ignorance is education. Remember kids learn from someone... I doubt that your kid's 9 years old friends care about your messy house, my hunch is they are hearing it from other adults!! People judge b/c they don't understand... educate them. Good luck.
 
Posted by Marine6624 (Member # 28052) on :
 
Laura , I am sending prayers your way , no one should have to have salt poured into their wounds ( being sick and enduring ridicule along with it ). The Lord sees what you are going through and he has not left you alone . I pray that Jesus will give charge of his angels to be a mighty fortress around you and your children . God bless

Feel free to stop by the Christian believers thread in general support and post any daily prayer requests you have . [Smile]
 
Posted by Laura_W (Member # 31491) on :
 
Thanks for everyone's support.

Although it does bug me... about the teasing...

I'm more upset that it has upset my children. That they have to endure more because of me.

Scorpio, I agree with the education... although I'm not sure how much my kids are up to handling.

I just signed up for netflix, and am in the process of watching under our skin. I've watched the first 30 min so far.... and I think its a bit to much for my kids (ages 5 and 9).

But, I do agree about education and I will be taking that approach
 
Posted by map1131 (Member # 2022) on :
 
Bullying has become very serious for school systems. There has been too many stories nationwide about effects of bullying.

Young man from Rutgers college that killed himself over a bully filming a sexual encounter with a male...bully is in court being punished now.

Found guilty, he is going to do up to 10 yrs in prison. It's time to teach our children how to fight the bully.

Schools are covering their arses these days from potential law suits. I made my daughter report twice this year when bully at school was picking on my 7 & 10 yr old grandsons.

I made my daughter be very firm with school that it will NOT be acceptable and school must address it or else, the second time it happened.

Pam
 
Posted by scorpiogirl (Member # 31907) on :
 
Laura,

My girls are 6 and 12 now but we let them watched the DVD with us since last year when they were 5 and 11. Initially we didn't let them know anything about my condition only that I was sick and the not knowing scared them even more!! Once we realized it we had to demystify the disease in order put their minds at ease. They actually thought I was dying!

Now they know how you can get Lyme, what symptoms to look for, how sick you can get, what you need to do to get better, etc... My girls know all about organic foods, how to read labels, what foods to avoid, they even know all about juicing, detox etc...

They have become my biggest supporters and biggest helpers. In our case the knowledge made them less afraid. So ask them questions to see how much they know and then take it from there.

Pam bullying is getting out of hand everywhere! We taught our girls that the first time it happens you address it. Second time you ask assistance from the teacher. Third time you have our permission to protect yourself. We don't believe in violent, and our kids are NOT taught to start anything. They are however, taught to DEFEND themselves and they can do that well.
 
Posted by Laura_W (Member # 31491) on :
 
Scorpiogirl- part of my issue with under our skin is that it informs about mothers being able to give Lyme to their children through pregnancy.

My children know that I contracted Lyme when I was a kid. They know it was from a tick bite.

And, I am wondering about the possibility of my children having Lyme.

But, I have not discussed this with them. And, I don't want to stress them out. I tried our pediatrician, but she is a DUCK.

My lyme dr, is only lyme aware not literate... so I will have to lie to him to get him to test the kids... and even then I'm not sure if I can get him to use Igenex... [Frown]
 
Posted by METALLlC BLUE (Member # 6628) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Laura_W:
because of me.

But it's not you....
 
Posted by METALLlC BLUE (Member # 6628) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Laura_W:
Scorpiogirl- part of my issue with under our skin is that it informs about mothers being able to give Lyme to their children through pregnancy.

My children know that I contracted Lyme when I was a kid. They know it was from a tick bite.

And, I am wondering about the possibility of my children having Lyme.

But, I have not discussed this with them. And, I don't want to stress them out. I tried our pediatrician, but she is a DUCK.

My lyme dr, is only lyme aware not literate... so I will have to lie to him to get him to test the kids... and even then I'm not sure if I can get him to use Igenex... [Frown]

On an issue like this, I don't think it's a good idea to hide it from them. They could be having problems and not understand why they feel what they feel, and they may not talk about it.

You may want to rethink explaining that. Ask them what they feel, what they are experiencing -- but you don't have to let on that you're looking for symptoms.

If you suspect symptoms, then you need to inform them that it's not their fault.

If I was a child and my parent didn't tell me......
 
Posted by John S (Member # 19756) on :
 
Talk to their parents. They probably won't stop on their own.
 
Posted by Laura_W (Member # 31491) on :
 
@John S... The parents are the root of the problem for one of the kids... not much I can do with that one... like talking to a brick wall.

But, with the rest of the kids parents... I have been informing/educating about lyme and what I'm going thru so they understand.

@metallic blue, I agree... but also trying to figure it all out... the best way to do so...

But, I have concerns that my daughter (age 5) might be making some of these things up. I can see her symptoms either way... but, if she is making things up or exajerating the symptoms then discussing the symptoms in detail will only give her more ways to continue.

(She normally only complains of things when she isn't doing something fun, or doesn't want to do things)

However, I don't want to dismiss the symptoms either... which is why I had tried the pediatrician. But, now have to go further.
 
Posted by METALLlC BLUE (Member # 6628) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Laura_W:
@John S... The parents are the root of the problem for one of the kids... not much I can do with that one... like talking to a brick wall.

But, with the rest of the kids parents... I have been informing/educating about lyme and what I'm going thru so they understand.

@metallic blue, I agree... but also trying to figure it all out... the best way to do so...

But, I have concerns that my daughter (age 5) might be making some of these things up. I can see her symptoms either way... but, if she is making things up or exajerating the symptoms then discussing the symptoms in detail will only give her more ways to continue.

(She normally only complains of things when she isn't doing something fun, or doesn't want to do things)

However, I don't want to dismiss the symptoms either... which is why I had tried the pediatrician. But, now have to go further.

At 5 years old, if you think she's faking symptoms, then you need to talk to other parents with children who do have Lyme, and have your daughter evaluated(as you mentioned). At 5 years old, you aren't going to get straight answers I would think and the symptoms are going to be more subtle since children don't know how to communicate them well. I thought you were talking about a child around age 9-10.

I would certainly talk to other parents. They'll have strong insight.
 
Posted by scorpiogirl (Member # 31907) on :
 
Laura,

My girlfriend has Lyme Disease for at least 7 years now. She was diagnosed 2 years ago. About 3 months ago BOTH of her girls ages 3 and 5 were diagnosed by the world renowned Dr in CT. They think she passed Lyme to both girls while pregnant. Her kids have very strong symptoms though... light sensitivity, noise sensitivity, joints pain, and very very fatigue to name a few.

You must do what you feel comfortable with your kids. But we just feel that when we are open and honest w/ our kids we can help them process the info better. Kids when feeling out of control tend to blame themselves! So we are always reassuring them that they didn't cause my Lyme!
 
Posted by Laura_W (Member # 31491) on :
 
dang.... forgot about that noise sensitivity was a symptom... its not a big issue for me.....

but is for my daughter... Vacuum cleaner makes her go running, she will walk around the fair with hands over her ears.

I'm going to have to bite the bullet... I'm going to call Igenex and have them send me test kits.. I know that I will qualify for their low-income discount...

Then I will start with getting either my primary or my LLMD to sign off on the paperwork to do my kids bloodwork... at least my daughters to start with.
 
Posted by METALLlC BLUE (Member # 6628) on :
 
Smart move.
 
Posted by Laura_W (Member # 31491) on :
 
Thanks Everyone!
 
Posted by apljack (Member # 14233) on :
 
Nothing to add except sorry this is happening and I hope you and your family gets well ASAP.
 
Posted by mom2kids (Member # 31972) on :
 
My house is messy too, but we always seem to have a buttload of kids here. One told me once "I love coming to your house, it's always such a mess!". At first I was embarassed, but then I realized it apparently didn't bother her or she wouldn't love coming here. I also realized that the kids feel more comfortable here because it is a more relaxed atmosphere and that's because I had to give up on my OCDish ways when I got really sick. If all the kids are coming to your house then I wouldn't worry too much about the "mess" part.
 
Posted by map1131 (Member # 2022) on :
 
I told my grandsons that I wanted to know where this bully lived. Neighborhood school, everyone walks or car riders and boys were in my car.

They said why? I told them I'm going to his mom and dad's house and tell them their son is a bully and ask what they were going to do about it.

They said oh no Nana he will pick on us more. I told them to tell the bully my Nana is coming to your house to talk to your mom and dad.

The youngest 7 yr old 1st grader...I can just hear him telling the bully what Nana said. He would tell the bully you don't want my Nana at your house. She will tell your mom and dad what a bad bad person you are. Nana doesn't like bullies, she says you have an "L" stamped on your forehead for LOSER!!!!!!!!!!

Don't mess with my Nana dude! We call this child Little Man. He's trapped in little body with the smarts and creativity of an elder man.

Pam
 


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