I've been having a lot of trouble with depression and anxiety recently.
Lyme causes some of the issues, and then starting a new job + having to re-start treatment and find doctors is EXTREMELY stressful, especially because my finances are tight.
I often find that even if I am exhausted I dread going to bed.
If I read a book or watch a tv show online or something, I can distract myself from the real world.
I saw a quote by someone with depression where they said they hated going to bed/sleep because that meant the next day would arrive and they'd have to do it all again.
That is how I feel.
The problem is- the WORSE I feel, the more stressed I get
(especially because the worse I feel the worse I preform at work, which then makes me start worrying and obsessing about how much I need to do the next day)
The more stressed I get- the less I want to go to bed and face the next day. But those are also the days I need sleep the most.
And half the time when I do go to bed, I can't sleep for hours anyway.
I don't stay up to 3 or 4 in the morning- only like 11, sometimes 11:30, but in an ideal world I'd be in bed by 8, and if I am not in bed by 9 or 9:30 I am a zombie and feel terrible.
I set alarms for 8:30 telling myself to go to bed, but even those don't work most of the time
Has anyone else ever felt like this? Do you have any hints on how to make myself go to bed?
Posted by jimmy1 (Member # 33504) on :
NicoleDenise, I have exactly the same problem. Nighttime is the worst for me, both physically and mentally. I really start going down hill in the early evening. Confusion, sadness, weakness, pain, twitching. It's like I'm losing myself. I'm almost nervous about going to bed.
Let's focus on some positives and maybe it will help both of us:
1. Sleep is one of the best things we can do for ourselves. It is healing, it is rejuvenating, it makes us think better, look better, feel better, and we deserve it. One of the few treatments we have that doesn't cost a dime.
2. You know those times when you'd give anything to be in your beddybye? Like on some long airplane flight when you're shoved into a middle seat, exhausted? Ah, what you'd give for your nice comfy bed. Oh, wait ... I get to have my nice comfy bed right now. Ahhhh.
3. Indulge yourself. Get some really soft pillowcases. If you don't have sensitivities to fragrance, try storing your pillowcases with a sachet or lemon-scented soap - something that reminds you of happiness.
4. No creepy TV or crime dramas just before bed. End your day on an up-note.
5. None of us need more drugs going into our bodies, but my doctor has given me approval for an occasional over-the-counter sleep aid like AdvilPM. One pill helps me tremendously.
6. A nice relaxing sleep in your bed is something that you've earned. It's yours - all yours.
Here's hoping you get a good night's sleep tonight!
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Posted by lyme in Putnam (Member # 11561) on :
I used to get like that, I'm on GABA, taurine, I'm not anxious and hate waking up to another dy of depersonalization. I'm on OCD Meds and it's calmed it down. A lot, but I so much not feel like myself, at least I was scared, now I just feel dead. I had my first good nights sleep on Monday, first in 2 years, didn't wake up confused, it was great but short lived. I too feel like I lost myself hoping something wakes me up to me. I take low dose melatonin too.
Posted by karenl (Member # 17753) on :
LDN will help.
Posted by Nicole_Denise (Member # 20620) on :
I also find that I have a "window" when I can go to sleep. If I am too late, I get wide awake again. And the problem is sometimes I go from so tired I can hardly brush my teeth to awake again after I brush my teeth.
Posted by dbpei (Member # 33574) on :
I have had sleep and depression issues with Lyme as well. I have been helped by two supplements - Gaba and lithium orotate. I take 5 mg of lithium orotate with my 3 meals (it is cheap too!) and I take the gaba a little before bed time. You can order both from Amazon.com or Iherb.com.
I now am able to sleep a good 5 - 6 hour cycle without waking up. I do often wake up at 3 or 4 a.m. and sometimes can't get back to sleep, but that 5 or 6 hours is the most healing.
If you are sleep deprived, it definitely will affect your mood and outlook. The lithium orotate is a natural mineral and its dosage is a fraction of the version of lithium that MD's prescribe for bipolar disorder. Studies show it is extremely safe. My LLMD believes in it.
Before taking the lithium orotate, I had major mood swings and could cry for hours without being able to stop. I am doing so much better now. I hope you will consider giving it a try. Of course, discuss with your LLMD first.
Also, a quiet peaceful routine each night helps. I watch TV with my husband in a dark room an hour before bed. I keep my bedroom very cool, too.
I hope this helps. Best of luck!
Posted by 2roads (Member # 4409) on :
I'm not much help here.
I like going to sleep. I just wish I didn't have to wake up.
Sometimes in the morning I arrouse and all my problems come flooding back at me.
But when I first go to bed now, I think, a moment without the memories of the hell, before I awaken to live them all over again.
I actually think some sleeping pill swould be good, and maybe safe them up for a night I don't want to wake up anymore.
Only two things keeping me from that. One, I've already ruined most of my sons life, taking the little left by my death would be cruel. Not to mention my daughter would feel unloved and I love her so much too.
Also, I'm a Christian, and I don't want to spend the rest of my life after death, in hell. This life was hard enough.
But when I go to bed, I feel like maybe I could just naturally go...you know, catch a break somewhere.
Anyway, finagling some sleeping pills from a doctor would atleast give me peace knowing I have options. Live in hell, or live again in hell.
Wow, not as many options as I thought.
Take comfort in knwing that it's your life that might be struggling, not someone elses because of you.
Posted by Carol in PA (Member # 5338) on :
quote:Originally posted by 2roads: I like going to sleep. I just wish I didn't have to wake up.
I actually think some sleeping pills would be good, and maybe safe them up for a night I don't want to wake up anymore.
. 2roads, Your depression has gotten very bad, if this is the way that you feel.
This is not good...it makes both your life and your children's more difficult. Please call your doctor, as you may need medication to help you through this.
You can tell him that strangers on the internet are worried about you.
When a mother has mental health issues, it affects everything about her children's life. They grow up ~knowing~ that something is wrong with them.
If you are always anxious or worried or angry, it colors your children's perception of how the world works. If you are depressed enough to wish for death, you're not likely to take good care of yourself.
There are some things you can do for yourself, like take magnesium and good quality fish oil. Low magnesium can cause anxiety, depression, stress.
Fish oil will reduce inflammation and improve blood circulation to the brain, which helps depression.
I wish someone had told me this years ago.
Posted by Dogsandcats (Member # 28544) on :
2Roads, I am chiming in with Carol.....
Sometimes when you are so low, help seems near impossible. But it isn't. Please call your doctor and see what options are available to you.
Is there someone at your church that can assist you?
God is with you right now and He will not leave you. I will be praying for you. There is hope. Even though you can't maybe see it, we can. PM me if I can help.
Posted by dbpei (Member # 33574) on :
So sorry 2Roads. This is an awful illness that can damage you physically, mentally and emotionally. But you can feel better with the right support.
I am praying for you and hope you will get the support you need. You can beat this!
Posted by 2roads (Member # 4409) on :
I prey for my sons healing constantly.
I need a miracle folks.
Please help me prey that his hyperactivity, nervousness and tic-like behavior go away as quickly they came three months ago, whatever the cause.
Please help me prey that he will be restored. His name is Jakob.
I have all this blood work three doctors want to do. I'm trying to get it all done at once.
There is an MRI scheduled in two weeks.
All this will freak him out more then he already is.
I don't want to subject him to anymore.
I just want the good Lord to heal him.
Please prey for him.
Please ask your preying friends and acquaintences to prey for him.
I need a miracle-
Hugs,
2roads
Posted by Nicole_Denise (Member # 20620) on :
Hi 2roads,
It can be hard to see with people so close to you, but diagnosing your son and getting him the proper treatment, while difficult, is SO much better than subjecting him to be ill for the rest of his life.
I got Lyme when I was 18 -in between being an adult and a child. I can't tell you how lucky your son is.
I think there must be many many children out there who are ill and getting sicker because their parents believe the Infectious Disease doctors, or don't believe their children when they say they hurt.
Just by believing your son and getting him help is Amazing. It might feel like you are subjecting him to a lot, but you AREN'T!
When he is better, and able to run and play sports and do everything healthy children do, he will thank you
And if it isn't lyme, he will still thank you no matter what happens. You are fighting for him and he will know that!
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
Praying for you, 2roads and Nicole-Denise... Posted by Carol in PA (Member # 5338) on :
quote:Originally posted by 2roads: Please help me prey that his hyperactivity, nervousness and tic-like behavior go away as quickly they came three months ago, whatever the cause.
. Are you taking a good quality fish oil? Omega 3's will reduce inflammation and improve the quality of the cell membranes. This improves blood flow to the brain, which improves functioning.
The inflammation is caused by the body's immune reaction to infection, and is a problem with people who have tick borne infections.
Posted by Nicole_Denise (Member # 20620) on :
Lots of fish oil (horrible stuff but I feel like I drink it by the very-expensive gallon)
I do take epsom salt baths but not as often as I should. Thanks for the reminder!
Posted by Keebler (Member # 12673) on :
- Nicole & 2Roads,
Some excellent replies above for both of you.
Just looking at PANDAS, we think it's just for kids but adults also can have this and it's just just from lyme but strep - mycoplasma - etc.
Getting to the bottom line, the CAUSE really matters. Finding good doctors who really know their stuff is the key as we just can't do it all ourselves.
I've been at a loss as to what to say to help. I just can't seem to put the words together that work. However, I know from times I've gone thorough similar things, sleep, good food, water, and key adrenal support has helped me very much.
Day by Day. Stop everything you can and just focus on what matters now, this hour, this day. Feel love and imagine light.
While also getting to the cause, along the way, adrenal support can help very much to balance mood - and also the ability to sleep. ------------
Links to articles & supplements -
Posted by Nicole_Denise (Member # 20620) on :
Thanks Keebler
My ND has mentioned she thinks I have an adrenal problem. I don't think she has put me on anything for it yet- she has started me on a bunch of different things recently, and things are so shaken up I don't think she wants to add something just yet.
Does B12 help for adrenals? I started doing those shots, and they helped a lot with energy (although not enough that I don't get horrendous fatigue SOMETIMES, just not all the time)
I also started a supplements with B vitamins and some other stuff that is supposed to help with anxiety. It seems to be helping.
Posted by steve1906 (Member # 16206) on :
Depression/anxiety is one of the most devastating symptoms with Lyme disease, it was me too. I see a lot members gave you some really good advice, I'm sure you both know most of this but, I'll give my two cents.
Depression drains our energy, and our drive to do day to day events, making it difficult to do what you need to feel better. Feeling better takes time, but you can get there if you make positive choices for yourself each day and draw on the support of others - you can also get more personable with people like us her on ``Lymenet''. On days you're feeling really bad and down, you cam PM someone here - PM me anytime you'd like to talk.
I try and login at least once a day. The things that help the most are the things that are most difficult to do. But there's a difference between difficult and impossible. Take walks, long ones if possible - exercise if you can, even just little. I promise you this works!
Keep yourself busy, with things you love to do. Cut down on work if you can. Eat nutritious meals - get plenty of sleep if you can - try to relaxation as much as possible - Tai Chi - yoga - Acupuncture - saunas - meditation, or deep breathing. Get help from family and friends, and again lean on us as often as possible.
Try to keep up with social activities even if you don't feel like it. Have lunch or coffee with a friend. The key to depression recovery is to start with a few small goals and slowly build from there. Draw upon whatever resources you have. You may not have much energy, but you probably have enough to take a short walk around the block or pick up the phone to call a loved one. Take things one day at a time and reward yourself for each accomplishment. The steps may seem small, but they'll quickly add up. And for all the energy you put in to your depression recovery, you'll get back much more in return.
I've heard that (Garum Armoricum ) can help with stresses from work or personal life, and can support healthy sleep patterns, energy, memory and mood. Also helps with anxiety and depression
Nicole_Denise & 2Roads never ever give up, we're all in this together, and we're here to help one another. Work on finding ways to get better/longer sleep, you will get better. I know it's hard enough having Lyme and co's - but some of us have (kids) and other family members with these diseases also. We have to try our best to take care of ourselves, so we can also care for our loved ones.
Supplements that can also be very helpful, in building up adrenal function, multivitamins, the ``B'' vitamins (especially B-12), vitamin C, magnesium and zinc.
Don't forget, you can PM me when you're feeling down, or just need someone to talk too.
I'll be wishing you both a good night's sleep tonight!!! Sweet Dreams!!!
Posted by lululymemom (Member # 26405) on :
I agree that the B vitamins are extremely important and were the first things perscribed when we started treating. Depression and anxiety are common with Bartonella.
Posted by Liz D (Member # 16739) on :
Sleep is one of the few enjoyable things left and it takes sleeping pills to achieve it. I have deteriorated to not only being reclusive but only feeling 'safe' in my bed. Waking up is another issue as many have said. Its just one damned day of issues after another.
Posted by gagamooppop (Member # 34314) on :
Havent been able to sleep in over a week...will fall asleep for like an hour or so then wake up all wired. I am hating it...
Doc prescribed a sleeping pill...am very nervous to take it b/c i hate pills...
Are sleeping pills the best way to go??
Posted by steve1906 (Member # 16206) on :
I would try the alternatives first...
Posted by farraday (Member # 21494) on :
For many years insomnia was my top issue. I have gone at least 9 nights without sleep. I was in the hospital and they finally persuaded the doctor to give me pills.
After my lyme diagnosis my LLMD, my psychiatrist and my pain doctor all agreed: I needed to take meds to sleep period. They said that I cannot fight the terrible infections in my body without sleep.
I tried everything to avoid pills. I was even hypnotized many times. Even now I take less than I am supposed to take. I hate them, I wake up after bad dreams and feel terrible for a few hours. But not sleeping is far worse.
I agree with Carol re magnesium and fish oil. I take lots of both...throughout the day. I try to take an Epson salts bath early evening. I read, listen to classical music and prepare for sleep. I take the sleep meds at 9 and hope to be asleep by 12...or sometimes 1. (I take a low dose anti anxiety med aroung 4 pm). I use lots of down pillows. I keep the room cool and me warm. I turn on my air cleaner to muffle noise and clean the air.
Having a routine that starts in late afternoon and early evening helps a lot. Take meds at the same time, give yourself plenty of time to wind down, listen to music or to the wind...breathe slowly and enjoy your life one minute at a time.
I take Seroquel and Temazapan for sleep. My whole life I have been very difficult to sedate. I remember counting backward in the hospital operating room and when I got to 49 they asked "Are you always this difficult?" I sighed and said "Unfortunately yes."
I think some people are just wired differently and I have had sleep problems since childhood. But I did not need real meds until I developed lyme disease. My neuro symptoms are severe and I think the sleeplessness is part of it.
BTW, depression really lifts once you start sleeping regularly. I am grumpy and in pain in the morning, but once I wake up and spend time with my heating pad I feel ok. In fact I have often been told that I am definitely too cheerful to be so sick. I just point out that I have always been an outstanding actress! Yes, I did have a theater company once in my career.
But my best audience is myself. I try very hard to act happy and positive and it usually works. It also helps that I am married to a man with an incredibly funny sense of humor and wit. Even better, he thinks I am hilarious. If I can convince him, then I must be doing something right!
Not sleeping turns me into loony tunes and I do not recommend it for anyone!
Posted by jimmy1 (Member # 33504) on :
So much great advice and positive energy from everybody writing in. You guys are the best!
Nicole-Denise, how are you feeling these days? Resting better, I hope?
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Posted by Nicole_Denise (Member # 20620) on :
Hmm, well, I've got rid of a lot of the anxiety. But I think in the last week something else has gone wrong (thyroid, adrenals, hormones, something), because my sleep schedule is wacked. I can't drag myself out of bed in the morning, but I have trouble getting to sleep at night.
It's on my list of things to talk to my doc about next week
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Sweet Dreams!!!