Hey all. Title says it all. I don't trust myself to e left alone. I have been having episodes where I get really depressed/anxious and have a decreased tolerance for frustration and I feel like I'm gonna snap.
It comes and goes and I have been having these feelings the last two days. Much more so today.
I have expressed my concerns to family but no one really seems to even care. I literally feel like I'm on the verge of going crazy and I don't like it.
If things go as they normally do, I should feel better tomorrow. Seems to come around every 3-4 days or so and last for about that long too.
I thought maybe I had PPD but because of the pattern, I'm thinking no.
Anyway...I just needed to get this all out in the open. Just typing helps me let out some frustrations and feel better.
Posted by Keebler (Member # 12673) on :
- Adrenal support saved my life from such cycles. Medical mushrooms, magnesium and Fish Oil, too.
I just have to jump in with what helps. I don't have the energy to properly write a reply on the emotional level but I've been there.
At the worst what helped was figuring out that I did not have everything in place to end it THAT day and just decided, well, okay, it won't be today. I'd never leave on a vacation without having my home in order. All loose ends would have to taken care of.
I also really don't like pain or like to throw up. Nearly any "exit" plan involves either intense pain - or (if from pills) the likelihood of severe vomiting, convulsions, induced heart attack or worse. Pass on all that.
While serious, I hope this brings a bit of a smile to know that it's just very hard to make a clean, comfortable exit that will not leave a volcanic destruction behind. Too much work.
I could relax to a degree, know that I might still FEEL like leaving but also felt some reassurance in my (then, nearly daily) decisions for: not today.
Also, at that time, even if just nature out my window, if there was one thing I enjoyed about planet earth, I wanted to stick it out and enjoy what I could.
I had no family or friends at that time with which I was close (due to illness and poverty) still, I knew there were people in my life who would be deeply hurt. And there was still the chance that I'd get better enough some day to have good relationships and be able to get out again.
The best help was facing that I would like FEEL like I wish I could just be gone and just accept that as a feeling. It's understandable, after all and really not surprising. But with tenderness and love, that feeling did not destroy me.
Just shine some light on it. Feel the love that is underneath all this. And then grab on to something you enjoy about this planet and the people sharing it with each other. -
Posted by Keebler (Member # 12673) on :
- MAGNESIUM & FISH OIL - TODAY !!! Also:
I mentioned that adrenal support literally saved my life. Those horrible crashes were about infection, sure. But - it was the adrenal support that level it out. And within days.
Topic: NATURAL SLEEP & ADRENAL SUPPORT -
Posted by Keebler (Member # 12673) on :
- After re-reading your post, I may have misinterpreted. By "not trusting yourself" that normally voice feelings of wanting to end it.
But, if this is not in that vein, sorry.
About "snapping" - not sure how that would be but, again:
MAGNESIUM
FISH OIL
ADRENAL SUPPORT
Is there anything you might be taking that is creating this neuro-excitatory action?
If you think you might snap and hurt someone, or yourself, please do call someone who can just be with you -- or you may just need some time alone to be quiet.
Adrenal exhaustion involves exactly what you describe. Really.
Whatever direction you are being pulled towards, don't let the wind blow you over.
Just lie down and let it pass. Feel warmth and light in your heart. Breathe. Put on some music. Keep hope.
And if all that has you rolling your eyes, do that, too. A deep appreciation of irony is good, too.
As for possible snapping. Same with other serious actions -- it's a lot of mess to clean up and emotional relationship are very hard to mend.
So, you need a PLAN for if you feel close to snapping.
Stop. Breathe. Wait. Retreat. Rest. And love. -
Posted by philly78 (Member # 31069) on :
I'm on magnesium and fish oil. No adrenal support right now but I'm sure i have something in my arsenal of supplements.
Thanks so much.
Posted by Keebler (Member # 12673) on :
- Be sure the magnesium is a good kind, and high enough dose (1,000 - 2,000 mg a day, divided 3 times - never all at once or just once).
You may need more fish oil. Maybe 1 Tablespoon TWICE or THREE TIMES a day.
- explores the neurological and toxic ways that lyme and other tick-borne infections can affect emotions, thoughts and behavior - and psyche.
------------------
I assume you are getting treated for lyme & co. Be sure your LLMD is aware of all this as there may be some changes to be made. -
Posted by philly78 (Member # 31069) on :
Thanks. I'm taking Omega Brite. It is the children's liquid and my son and I share it. I will try upping the dose.
I have marco mag, mag malate and magna calm. Lol. I can add the magna calm at night before bed.
I saw my LLMD yesterday and we actually just changed a bunch of things.
Posted by aklnwlf (Member # 5960) on :
Don't know if this'll help but I take Super Mag Instant, Advanced Sleep Formula, eat canned or grilled wild-alaskan salmon 4x week, drink jasmine green tea and Kava Kava tea.
Can tell in a couple of days if I don't do the mag and get less sleep.
Vitamin Shoppe makes the Advanced Sleep Formula and it's got melatonin, 5-htp, gaba, l-theanine and a couple of other goodies in it. It's the best sleep formula I've found so far.
Hope this helps.
Posted by MannaMe (Member # 33330) on :
For adrenal support, my husband uses Dr. James Wilson's Adrenal Rebuilder, Adrenal C, and there was a third one but I can't think of the name right now. He also used herbal drops that were for the adrenals from the same place.
My husband noticed improvement in a week after starting those supplements.
Hope this helps!
Posted by Keebler (Member # 12673) on :
- MannaMe,
Excellent reminder about Wilson's book.
philly,
Wilson's links are in that Adrenal thread above. -
Posted by glm1111 (Member # 16556) on :
Good suggestion from Keebler about adrenal support. Don't remember if you are treating for parasites?
Gael
Posted by glm1111 (Member # 16556) on :
Philly,
Just tried to reply to your pm...your mailbox is full
Posted by philly78 (Member # 31069) on :
Oops. Deleted some messages
Posted by Keebler (Member # 12673) on :
- Came back to mention parasites but see Gael did suggest that connection. I mentioned adrenal support but, ultimately, you'd need to figure out what made that go so kaput.
In addition to lyme, PARASITES can be the underlying cause of many of the symptoms you describe.
Heavy Metals, too. Hope your LLMD know about all this. If not, do pursue both possibilities.
Now, it may feel too much to think about today. So, tomorrow. And as stressful as added stuff like this can be, remember, that treatment for both parasites and heavy metals can bring remarkable results. -
Posted by Dogsandcats (Member # 28544) on :
I am so sorry you are having a rough time. Are you currently working with a LLMD? It might be a good idea to call and let him/her know about this.
Maybe even check in with your GP, it sounds like you need to have a medical check, just to be sure.
Lyme is hard, please try to get some help. I will be praying for you.
Posted by philly78 (Member # 31069) on :
Thanks. I'm feeling a lil' bit better. In the past, when I would get stressed out, I would bake. So, instead of baking, I made a batch of marinara style cultured veggies.
It kept me occupied and focused on something else for a bit.
Posted by Dogsandcats (Member # 28544) on :
Food has a way of helping things be all better...glad you are feeling better.
Posted by FamilyFive (Member # 37206) on :
Philly, I felt this way when I went through a period (year or so) of pretty severe anxiety (started when we had to get a restraining order against a babysitter and leave the state to keep my children and I safe.... talk about crazy).
I was overtired, emotionally depleted, and stressed constantly. I was frayed and on-edge... then when another stressor landed on my plate, I felt like I was going to lose my mind.
It was as if I couldn't process the anxiety, fear, and frustration and i would just snap... at my husband, my children, even my parents!
It took a lot of magnesium, melatonin for sleep, prayer, two dear friends, and finally an anti-anxiety med (lexapro) to get me through.
It was the WORST period I've ever been through in my life. My LLMD is convinced it is what triggered my lyme again.... I will keep you in my prayers and hope the remedies work for you!
Posted by lpkayak (Member # 5230) on :
i have the thinking im gonna lose it again now too. im going thru a move...stressful mentally and physically.
im glad you talked to your llmd. judt wondering if you are fighting bart right now cuz that made the sx the worse it has ever been for me...but after 2 weeks it went away.
somehow...as i get older...and go thru more stuff...like really being suicidal and then deciding...no ... i want to stay and experience3 as much as i can even tho it is not the way i thought my future would be.
i finally have some kind of calm strength...my faith has a lot to do with it...but getting older helps.
i just do the best i can and when i am anxious i just figure if i do the best and it doesnt come out right then maybe its supposed to go in that direction...i dont know. ive lost some fight and gained some acceptance of the way things are i guess.
the drugs made me worse but they help many so are worth a try