LymeNet Flash: It's O.K. to Put Yourself First

This is topic It's O.K. to Put Yourself First in forum General Support at LymeNet Flash.

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Posted by RDaywillcome (Member # 21454) on :

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/04/07/its-o-k-to-put-yourself-first/

Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :

Very nice!

Posted by surprise (Member # 34987) on :

I thank you for posting this piece, (and others) as it certainly struck a chord with me-

I find after rigorous Lyme treatment, I certainly am doing more activities than before, but struggle within as to what is 'normal'

questioning myself very recently as to whether I have some anti- social tendencies that (once again) I internalize as not being 'enough'

Further, I very much needed the reminder that it is okay (and necessary) to take care of myself and rest more.

Posted by map1131 (Member # 2022) on :

surprise, please don't beat yourself up for being anti-social. People that are NOT chronically ill have no idea how exhausting socializing is.

One on one or two I can handle pretty well. Larger groups absolutely drain me. Also become aware of those certain people that will drain you and actually are toxic to your being.

Time with those type toxic people should be very limited. You'll figure out who they are. Yeap, sometimes it's a loved one.

Pam

Posted by beaches (Member # 38251) on :

Thanks for posting this link RDay.

This piece is very empowering...

especially for moms as we're ALWAYS last on our list.

I will add that due to necessity and life circumstances, we are often last because we have to put our kids first. They're our priority, afterall, as they should be.

Posted by Dove7 (Member # 39546) on :

Thanks for the link. I liked the upbeat attitude, but I know I am not there yet.

As an introvert, I've always needed some solitude each day to recharge. With Lyme, that is multiplied several-fold.

I do care so about my husband and kids that I miss them and feel guilty when I need to go to bed or miss a meal with them.

Socializing is extremely limited and very challenging to plan for due to the day to day and sometimes hour by hour measure of how I am doing.

I will admit that when I read this piece, one of my first thoughts was "great, I don't even do chronically ill correctly." See, I just can't measure up to martyrdom whether it's being the perfect wife/mother/worker or facing my new normal "correctly."

Though I am being a bit tounge-in-cheek with that last thought, there is also a bit of truth in it, too.

Posted by beaches (Member # 38251) on :

Dove,

Please don't measure yourself by this article!
And don't even try to ``measure up'' by some random person's standards.

There is nothing wrong with being an introvert and/or someone who just needs to recharge!

I imagine you feel a great deal of guilt when you miss a meal with your family. Please let that go. Many moms have been there.

HUGS to you.

Of course b/c of your situation, socializing is limited and challenging and on the backburner for now. But if you have friends you can have a good time with, go ahead and enjoy!

And surprise, stop questioning yourself!

Posted by BoxerMom (Member # 25251) on :

Deep breath everyone. I doubt the writer even lives up to her own standards.

Short pieces like this need a coherent theme. And she chose an excellent topic. I could certainly relate.

But minds are mercurial and resolve wavers. She is writing about a lesson she learned from illness. And she is human. I'm sure she has many doubtful days, just like all of us.

I thought the most interesting line was, "Two months ago, my husband and I separated."

What a bomb to drop in the middle of a self-care article! What happened? Chronic illness leads to separation?

That's an interesting story, likely featuring warts and all. And can't we all relate to how illness challenges our relationships?

Anyway, just didn't like to hear how some felt they didn't compare. There is no right way to be sick. If there is, my "right train" left me stranded at the station long ago.

Honestly, the article reads like the relaxed insights I have after I take my Benzo. How's that for an angle? We should all write that story!

[Razz]

Posted by surprise (Member # 34987) on :

LOL! Love it. Still chuckling B. Mom.

My internal dialogue is too harsh, that's all I'm saying. Sometimes I'm not even aware.

This article was positive for me, cut me some slack.

Thanks friends here :-)
And Dove, hey, doing the best we can, right, and that's good.