My relationship of 5 years ended about 6 weeks ago.
("I don't know how to be around someone so sick")
Were the words used.
And I went on a blind date on Friday. My IV hep lock drew attention.
Suddenly, I was viewed through different eyes.
I am the same person hep lock or no hep lock.
Very grim.
Posted by faithful777 (Member # 22872) on :
**moving to general support**
Posted by just don (Member # 1129) on :
When you get it all figured out let me know.
My SO moved out on March.
15 years ago.
Posted by oceangirlSA (Member # 40873) on :
A few years after my husband died, I finally felt ready to start dating. As a young widow, I felt like I had plenty of time on my hands and was not in any rush.
Shortly after that, however, I became ill with Lyme, which stopped any plans I had at the time. So now I just feel like my life is on hold until I am well again since I have read much about how chronic illness can burden relationships.
I am so sorry for all those here whose SO left them because of Lyme. I find that so hard to hear. It totally stinks!
Posted by Anthropologista (Member # 35483) on :
VV, Greta, Just Don--when I hear about SOs who leave because of chronic illness, I want to shake them. Not only because leaving someone who's sick is about as ****ty as you can get, but also because they must be stupid. You are some of the most amazing people I know.
How often do we meet people like you, who take the time to help others, even when you need help yourselves? And who work to understand and treat an illness of mind-numbing complexity. And still manage to laugh and make others laugh.
Greta, I'm upset and angry to hear about your boyfriend, especially about his stupid reason. How could he do that to you? And the blind date guy was rude as well as stupid. He did not deserve a date with you. I hope you let him know that.
People as wonderful as you don't exactly grow on trees. Some people will realize that. Those that don't are idiots.
But I'm so terribly sorry about the pain these two people caused you. I wish I could give them a piece of my mind. Many, many hugs.
I looked through that site and few others I found but they are hard to navigate.
Some of the disability dating sites have rather poor designs.
I tried searching on OkCupid, but searches like "Lyme" or "disability" only bring up a few matches for the whole U.S. (and funny enough I knew one of them already).
Greta: ("I don't know how to be around someone so sick")
That was pretty much what I got too. "Why does everything have to be about Lyme? Can't we stop talking about it?" Somehow the whole thing became about her; how upset *she* was about my symptoms, how bad it made *her* feel to not go do normal activities, how depressed *she* was when she would come to stay with me.
It's very difficult when the one person who is really supposed to understand you best just doesn't seem to get what you are going through.
I felt like my symptoms were underestimated in severity.
Oh well...
Posted by GretaM (Member # 40917) on :
Anthro-bless you and your gentle kind heart X0X0 Your kind words...bless you and thank you.
VV-exactly. And the worst part was, is I tailored our time together on the days I was at my best. Never incorporated lyme into the conversation.
He didn't see me the days I spent on the floor etc. So it was a lowdown lazy excuse in my situation.
I am sorry that happened to you as well VV.
Posted by MADDOG (Member # 18) on :
Wow! this is a great thread ,i did not know there was dating places for the disabled.
MADDOG
Posted by randibear (Member # 11290) on :
I wish we all could take a trip or cruise together.
while married, I understand what many of you go through. the comments can be devastating.
I love the ole "well at least you don t have a terminal illness" or "well it's hard to respect somebody who's always got an excuse. you would do things if you really wanted to."
Posted by Anthropologista (Member # 35483) on :
VV--another approach is to work the numbers and go for high volume dating sites like Match.com. So many people use it that you have a better chance of finding someone. Given 300,000 new cases per year, many people on it will have Lyme.
You can let people know that you have Lyme in your profile, and that you're open to others with Lyme. You can do a nationwide search with the word "Lyme."
People find good relationships this way. But it may take a while. I would take the 6 months option, which you can extend free for another 6 months. 6 months seems to be the average time to find a relationship, and Lyme dating will probably take longer.
It took me 6 not-great months, but I eventually found the wonderful person I'm now married to--who didn't know he had Lyme.
Posted by OptiMisTick (Member # 399) on :
[ 11-16-2014, 08:31 PM: Message edited by: OptiMisTick ]
Posted by paleogal (Member # 45991) on :
This is an old thread, but I had to read it today. Thanks.
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