my husband's brother has suffered a stroke. he's in a medical coma. he will be paralysed but they dont know how much.
husband says they cant turn off life support if hes going to be paralyzed even if him and his wife want it. they only do it upon possibiliy of death and since he could live even ho be paralyzed they wont do it.
I know bill would not want to be in a wheelchair.
can they force his wife to keep him alive if they dont want to?
sorry but mycomputer is screwed up.
i dont think they have a living will...
[ 03-24-2015, 08:22 PM: Message edited by: randibear ]
Posted by Keebler (Member # 12673) on :
- You say you don't think he has a living will. It all depends on that document, whatever it's officially called. I sure hope he has signed one because without that, he has no rights at all. Nor does his wife.
A medical coma is not necessarily the same thing as life support.
But, if he is being kept ALIVE by a machine, yes . . . IF he has signed the proper papers, his power of attorney should be allowed to disconnect the power sources.
The tube feedings (nutrients has to be provided somehow if he's not awake to eat) would also be covered in the document. While not the same as mechanic "life support" it has it's own category that requires the patient's signature to reject.
Much comes down to the exact & specific language in whatever papers he has signed and filed - that medical legal document that is for such situations.
The hospital is pulling their "grey area" card here. It's not so much the point as to if he could / might survive but the issue must be kept to the
artificial means of life support. Period.
It's not up to anyone else, it's all about what he has signed. I assume his wife has that document and a copy should also be with his GP.
IF the artificial means of support (machine, feeding tubes) have been signed by him previously (of course) and if they are removed . . . he could still survive and require intense treatment.
Yes, then, nothing could be done other than palliative care and nothing that could hasten the end - unless one lives in a "death with dignity" state.
The affiliations of the hospital can also sometimes play into this. -
Posted by Keebler (Member # 12673) on :
- I'm sorry to hear of this. It also reminds us all that we need to be sure our own documents are proper, signed, up to date and all the copies are where they should be.
So much comes down to that document. And, regarding finances, if a hospital refuses to honor such, it would certainly be debated if the patient / their family would be responsible for the bill after the time at which such document had been made known to the hospital.
It's a terrible time to have to think about the financial soaking that most often occurs in such situations but his wife also needs to think about that. Billing procedures, insurance coverage is not very clear at such times.
Best of luck to them.
And, also know that, at one time Christopher Reeve had wanted to disconnect. Later he changed his mind.
And, many can recover from strokes, to varying degrees. Of course, if the brain scan says lights are just so very much "out" in key areas, we all do have to look at the reality. What I'm trying to say is that sometimes doctors can get that part wrong, about how much recovery could be possible.
Still, I hope he's signed the key papers so that his wishes will be honored.
We all not only need to be sure our own papers are signed but also those of our loved ones. If they don't sign then the family is left with such situations that can leave them few if any options
and legal responsibilities that can be crushing in various ways. Each spouse needs to know exactly what the other signs and how to access the original documents required.
Still, here's hoping all that is in place. If she is not sure, she should ask their family lawyer if maybe he signed papers that she just did not know about. Or if he has a safe anywhere, etc. -
Posted by Keebler (Member # 12673) on :
- I thought that I had read this past year about the family of a young man who had a stroke (or it may have been some other kind of brain trauma) and very high doses of fish oil fueled a remarkable recovery.
For a start to that possibility, it would be best if a naturopathic doctor is on one's team so they would be inclined to search out possible alternative methods that most hospitals would shun.
Just one link in a basic search. And if he has a feeding tube, this would be possible.
Fish Oil May Help Recovery -
Posted by randibear (Member # 11290) on :
got word that they put screws in his brain and he will have paralysis. they tried to disconnect breathing apparatus but he couldnt breathe on his own.
his wife wants them to try and resuscitate long enough for h im to tell them what to do.
man.she doesnt want to make any decisions. sounds like they dont have documents. she is saying she cant live with decision to stop treatment.
i feel for her. personally I think there will be a funeral. dont think they can get him conscious enuff.
Posted by Keebler (Member # 12673) on :
- Sorry to hear all this.
If she thinks hospital staff will even listen to him if he wakes up enough to mutter a few words, they most likely will not - for many reasons.
A formal document would need to completed - of course he'd have to be declared fully able (and of sound mind / not depressed or overcome with pain / not affected by any mind dampening Rx) to direct his power of attorney to formally record his wishes. And there may need to be a third party witness.
She should find out what would be required. Or other family could get legal advice for her - starting with their attorney seems the best place.
Also find out what kind of communication system the hospital might have for those who cannot speak. An occupational or speech therapy department might be best for this with communication "boards" on computer screens.
He would have to direct the communication somehow. -
Posted by randibear (Member # 11290) on :
ain't gonna happen in my opinion. I feel for her but she's going to have to make this decision.
you are so right. we're all coming up on facing these decisions.
tough call.
Posted by Keebler (Member # 12673) on :
- Yeah, we all face such decision.
And we will also be tied with the decisions of others in our immediate circle, too.
Even if there is no life - death disconnect dilemma, if someone is injured we can be responsible for them the rest of their / our life. Better we sure we really do "love the one you're with" as that that old CSN song goes. And that who ever is on our team will be there as a good support, no matter what.
Many years ago, when I was in the ER with what might have been a life-threatening matter, it sure cleared up my mind regarding whom I would - or would not - want around me in such tricky times.
But few of us really talk in detail about all this with our loved ones. And then when something happens, that leaves them at a harsh disadvantage. -
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
I feel so badly for his wife and family. That is really rough and makes it so much harder if they don't have a Living Will.