had another terrible week, and now this one starts off today with the death of a 50 something year old woman found dead in the river. my dd friend's mom.
missing for a few days.
the day before , my dd was with her/them. so crazy. autopsy being done .
my dd said "this doesn't happen to people like us".... oh, yes it does. we all die. so so so so sad. not sure what to say, but needed to get this off my chest
Posted by momindeep (Member # 7618) on :
Yikes...such a sad situation. Hits a person hard when it happens so close to home...
Sorry Lisa, I know you have been struggling.
Posted by LisaK (Member # 41384) on :
thank you.
and my stupid anxiety is really peaked because of it now. I wish there was a pill to make it go away. trying to stay the mom during a trial is hard when your body makes no gaba.
Posted by Dekrator48 (Member # 18239) on :
So sorry to hear that. Prayers for your family and theirs.
Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
Very sorry to hear this, Lisa. I hope there wasn't any foul play involved. That would really be horrible.
Prayers for all of you!!
Posted by linky123 (Member # 19974) on :
In our thoughts and prayers Posted by Keebler (Member # 12673) on :
- Reframing can be helpful. The image, of course, and all that visceral & emotional reaction can be very strong.
However, if possible to bring into it love and tender thoughts for that person and hope that, somehow as they "transitioned" they had some angels or maybe some bit of nature was soothing to them.
My brain and hands cannot put words to it but most counselors are pretty good at this kind of reframing -- after, of course, one has a chance to express their true feelings and move that.
Were I to be found in such a state, I would hope that whoever might be the first to find me would be able to feel a sense of my character and know that it was just my time to let go.
Accidents or just happening to have the end life "event" happen out in public happens sometimes. We just all hope that somehow for those around, they can feel some kind of peace about it.
I've had so many falls and seizures out and about (often by myself) and often thought I might just die -- in that odd space during a seizure it sure can feel like that.
I don't go out anymore but when I did, Most people would freak to the max. A few would not. Of course, actually checking out would be a game changer but I'd just hope that somehow any strangers that might happen to be there would be able to put it in a whole different light. Somehow.
When it is my time to go, I'd actually like to be out in nature. Trees, water, sky, clouds.
But back to your daughter and how to process this now, the circumstances matter as much as the ability of a good counselor.
Reframing is not painting a fairy tale but being able to see what spark of good or beauty might have helped the person at their time and also feeling love, even now. When love or tender thoughts can become part of event, it helps. -
Posted by Keebler (Member # 12673) on :
- Adrenal support can also help the body recover from such a shock. -
Posted by Keebler (Member # 12673) on :
- Rapid Eye Movement Therapy might also be of help. Decades ago, when my mother died, I had a hard time clearing the last "picture" out of my mind. It dominated. And no one had told me what a person looks like after they "are gone" -- it was a shock.
Rapid Eye Movement therapy helped, in addition to talk therapy and reframing.
And there is a drug (short term) that I think I'd read about helping stop reactions to a shock from someone who was a victim of a violent assault if given soon afterward. It helps the brain. to help prevent PTSD from taking hold. It may have some application here --
or a naturopathic doctor might have some ideas. Acupuncture can be very helpful for such emotional shock, too. -
Posted by LisaK (Member # 41384) on :
thanks everyone.
they ruled it a suicide. seems she had depression for ever and had made a promise to her children man y years ago that she would never take her life. but now she did.
my daughter said she talked to her on Thursday and she seemed a little "off" as she rambled and ran on with chatter. I am pretty sure she was on some kind of meds. too bad it came to this.
my other child (19) last night came to me and asked if I might kill MYSELF. o boy. aw I feel so sad she had that on her mind! but if a mom seems fine and then does this of course it would launch any child's mind into a tizzy about their own possibly unstable mom. and God knows I have had my rough days!
to top it all off.... a friend of my son's was just killed yesterday from a car accident- jr in high school, and one of my good friends' brother just OD'd on some drug and put into induced coma state.
life is just so fun.
sure makes you feel surreal.
I really hope a death doesn't come in threes to us. Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
When you said "river" I got worried. So terrible for her family. They will be scarred forever.
I'm glad you had a chat with your daughter.
You know, some of these psych drugs are really dangerous. They mess people up EVEN MORE. Most of them cause serious magnesium depletion and that is dangerous on so many fronts.
May God keep all of you safe and appreciating life as you didn't know it before.
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