Went shopping yesterday. Hadn't had human contact in 3 days.
It doesn't really bother me that much but I know it's not good for me .
I have close friends or neighbors who visit me and I enjoy their company very much. But it just is so draining. I live in my pajamas and robe. I m sick so I don't care how I look.
I went 8 days without talking to anyone in the summer when I was so very ill. Literally too tired to answer the phone and talk.
I m not depressed. I just have no interest in anyone or anything that requires my attention or energy.
I know this will pass, as it has in the past. Does anyone else keep to themselves when they are sick.?
Posted by Tincup (Member # 5829) on :
You bet'cha!
I've managed to alienate most of my friends and neighbors by not being available or open to pop in visits anymore (for years actually). Or by not going out with them when asked.
BUT, and I'm sorry, I don't like people in my face when I feel so crummy.
LEAVE ME ALONE!
Like you, I need what little energy and ability I have most days to just get thru a day. I can only act like I feel good (or better than normal) when I actually do.
Being a people person, which I suspect you are too, may make this harder on ourselves (at least in our minds).
But why should we feel guilty when we are so sick we can't even get dressed?
Got to think, if it were others who were sick, we wouldn't intrude on them or expect to interact much.
And not to worry. Once you are feeling better, you will also be back to "normal" with relationships too.
Now go hide in the corner and suck your thumb, you recluse you.
Posted by HW88 (Member # 48309) on :
I am there with you. I use to purposely go to church late and leave early so I wouldn't have to spend energy talking to anyone.
People would want to help by visiting me, but it was SOO hard to have energy to carry on conversations, etc.
I'm definitely a people person, so this was a very weird thing for me.
Tincup, can I suck my thumb too? haha Posted by Bartenderbonnie (Member # 49177) on :
You hit it on the head guys.
Misery loves company but once again, Lyme breaks the mold.
Posted by Keebler (Member # 12673) on :
- I have never found that misery loves company. Yet to state it, claim it as being very real is important. From there, it can move.
Understanding, that's what I've found really helps. And ways others find to look at it and work around the bumps in the road.
I do think it's a given that misery is just part of lyme - in so many ways.
But I don't want to give misery any company or longevity. I may be miserable but I can also be in awe over other things.
When possible shifting "feeling miserable" to "doing what I need to honor that and take care of myself" - well, that shift can make big difference. Even when it's (so often) doing nothing at all. Purposeful resting is vital.
I can also look to the world, out the window and still look ahead. I hope some of this helps as it's taken a long time to work through some real muck. Likely just takes time for anyone, though. Like stages of grief. -
Posted by Keebler (Member # 12673) on :
- This one took me forever: do not compare self to others. In any way.
Do not compare self to the self I thought I was going to be - other than in qualities of character. -
Posted by Bartenderbonnie (Member # 49177) on :
Maybe it's my profession, in that, a lot of people can't be alone with their thoughts and feelings in times of despair. Men more than women, though I don't have a clue why ?
I only give advice when asked. And I m asked a lot. For a variety of reasons.
My standard reply, which works 99% of the time is : " Your asking me what I would do if I was in your position, yet I think in your heart, you already know the answer."
It's basic human compassion that everyone craves. But with Lyme, there's very little human interaction.
Posted by Keebler (Member # 12673) on :
- I hope there are ways you can find the right degree of human interaction for this point in time. Even just get out to a park and sit on a bench can be good, or your front step?
Some of the words here mean as much to me now as they did when I first heard it on a popular recording in college in 1972.
Desiderata - Wiki "profile" of the piece -
Posted by MannaMe (Member # 33330) on :
Yes, my hubby found interacting with people waaaayyyy too exhausting back in the worst times.
Unfortunately a lot of the people were the kind who thought they knew what was wrong with him and what he should do to get better.
The few who were understanding could spend a short amount of time with him until he was just completely exhausted. We had a note on his door saying to keep your visit to 15 minutes.
So yes, it seems Lyme is just really hard on a person.
Posted by Bartenderbonnie (Member # 49177) on :
Beautifully done Keebler. Posted by randibear (Member # 11290) on :
I'm glad this was posted. i feel very strongly about it.
I'm a loner. I prefer it. I'm too tired to entertain somebody, always wondering what I say or do. cause I mix up words and all.
my husband is gone 4-5 days a week and I don't mind. I shop when I have the energy, clean when I can. cook what I want. I read and watch tv. rest when I want to.
going out is tiring so I try to plan everything in one trip. costco shopping does me in. I cant drive for miles, then shop, drive home, and then put stuff away.
I don't see how I managed to work 8-10 hours a day and still did everything.
and yes, I often want to tell somebody "leave me alone. go away...now"
I'm jus too tired and hurt too much to deal with inane chatter.
back to cave now.....lol
Posted by Silverwolf (Member # 9196) on :
Hi <<<<< Bartenderbonnie >>>>>,
The isolation gets to me, so I get it.
And I cannot text, often I cannot do e-mail. It is embarrassing for me, because my brain wont remember how do do things all to often.
And I probably sound as tho' I am droning on and on, when I do try to talk with someone, especially to answer questions.
I have a different question on the Isolation issue,and will start a new topic thread, so as not to change subjects to drastically here.
Thank You for bringing up the issue!
Jus' Silverwolfi here
Posted by Jordana (Member # 45305) on :
I am exactly like you, Bonnie. One of the first things I noticed was that I stopped answering emails, stopped having casual conversations, stopped going out.
I just didn't have it in me, especially the phone which I could never stand anyway and now, because my jaws get tired and I have to pretend I'm more enthusiastic than I am makes me resentful. If I have to talk on the phone out of necessity of course I'll do it and I'll seem fine, but I could easily avoid it forever.
I've found myself grateful that I don't have to manage a romantic relationship or a job. I think if I had tried to keep up with all that it might have killed me.
I don't care if isolation is bad for me or not; interaction takes energy I truly do not have. I don't feel bad about it.
When the misery lifts for a little while I'll seek out contact and conversation, but not too much because I know the beast will be back.
But it's proven to me that the urge to isolate is a component of this disease. It seems like whenever I am doing more -- washing, cleaning cooking, talking -- then I actually am having a good day. I can't make a good day happen by just doing things or looking for company, it happens the other way around.
It's probably temporary and I've always thought it was necessary.I don't think people get better forcing themselves to do more. I get annoyed when anyone suggests that.
Posted by Robin123 (Member # 9197) on :
Yeah, when we need to hole up, we hole up.
I have also seen that facebooking in Lyme groups can be very helpful in breaking isolation, especially if you get to chatting with someone in real time - then it really feels like socializing with someone who understands.
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