LymeNet Flash: A dog's letter to God

This is topic A dog's letter to God in forum Off Topic at LymeNet Flash.

To visit this topic, use this URL:
https://flash.lymenet.org/ubb/ultimatebb.php/topic/4/6885

Posted by randibear (Member # 11290) on :

You will LOVE this!!!!

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' the 'Chrysler Beagle'?

Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog?

Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog.
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

'Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened'

Posted by liesandmorelies (Member # 15323) on :

OH I just loved this. It made me laugh and laugh.

Thank you!!!!

PS my dogs do at least half of those nasty things. ARGH!!!

Posted by sammy (Member # 13952) on :

Oh my goodness! I love my dog but she really drives me nuts sometimes. She's smart but oh so stubborn. And I thought that she was the only dog in the world that liked to eat and snort cat litter! Apparently she's not alone since it made the top 10 list. Life is never boring with pets:)

Posted by mustluvdogs (Member # 18273) on :

Hi. I'm new. But I loved it. Sammy you are not alone with the cat litter thing. My dog doesn't do it now, but when he was younger he'd go get a snack and come sniff my face. GROSS OUT CITY. LOL

Posted by Geneal (Member # 10375) on :

I used to say I wasted my money on doggie treats.

I should just get a "snack" out of the cat litter box. [Big Grin]

Thanks for the laughs.

Hugs,

Geneal

Posted by Meg (Member # 22) on :

Very Cute, very cute [Smile]

Posted by astriapage (Member # 17120) on :

Man I loved this-it made me laugh and laugh which is very rare!

Thanks!

Posted by DakotasMom01 (Member # 14141) on :

Thanks This is Great!!

Posted by Silverwolf (Member # 9196) on :

That is Cute for certain!

Sihayah doggy is just certain,our clothng and the couch is in fact her face cloth!

Thanks for making me smile!!!