Any married 35+ year old females also in the same boat?
Anything that you found particularly helpful in making sense of this situation?
Thank you all- in advance- for both your kindness and for your considerate (hopefully gentle!) replies.
-Lymebulldog
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beaches
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Well, hugs to you firstly. And there is no need for you to apologize at all for posting this "heavy" topic.
I think think the issue of childbearing is import
I think we might need a bit more info about your particular situation before commenting further.
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beaches
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Well, hugs to you firstly. And there is no need for you to apologize at all for posting this "heavy" topic.
I think the issue of childbearing is an important one. Many here are mothers who have given birth prior to their LD dx, and their kids have been born with TBD. But just as many have given birth after their LD dx and they and their kids were treated for same.
Scariest of all as far as I�m concerned, are the kids being dx�ed with �juvenile fibromyalgia� and other crap like that.
I think we might need a bit more info about your particular situation before commenting further.
But I myself will go further and tell you to just go for it. As far a I am concerned prospective parents like you are ahead of the game, so to speak.
Best wishes and best of luck to you!
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BoxerMom
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I'm in this club, too. It's late, so I'll try to write more tomorrow.
It's pretty straightforward really...and maybe that's why it's so difficult for me to accept.
Admittedly, I never grew up daydreaming of the family that I might like to have one day. Perhaps the desire just finally came in time...with age.
I have a wonderfully loving husband who has been wholly supportive throughout it all; the many years-long journey with tbd's, that is. Today, I was just thinking to myself how many times he has calmly joined me in the ER (when I have had to be transported via EMT assistance) with his warm and comforting smile. He'll arrive with a packed bag of fresh clothes, additional meds, etc. A real gem of a man, indeed.
The reality of the situation seems to have sunk in all the more, lately, as it just so happens that I have been constantly bombarded with family/friends/acquaintances (even if only from a distance), who are very busy rearing-- and discussing the lives of-- their own children. While I continue to be genuinely happy for them, I can no longer deny the fact that the situation doesn't completely chew away at me on the inside. I just feel very sad over these unforgiving circumstances.
What I would deem to be one of life's greatest joys/miracles has been literally 'robbed' from me due to these diseases. But yet- it's more than the fact that Lyme, Babs, etc. doesn't make for good company in the womb...it honestly goes back/boils down to the failure of the mainstream (medical world) in allowing acutely ill individuals to progress to a point of chronic sickness (like was/is my case).
I'm really trying to process this 'loss' through the lens of..."it somehow serving a greater purpose/calling for me and my husband in our married life." For example, perhaps this path has been chosen, say, because one of our elder family members might one day require great care/oversight that we would have otherwise devoted to our own baby/child.
Does this further explanation better help to define where I'm coming from? I surely hope that this post doesn't come across as overdramatic, or ungrateful: that is certainly not my intent on the Forum.
As always...thanks, all, for sharing your invaluable wisdom!
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beaches
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Hugs to you all.
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beaches
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Hi again BD,
I never grew up dreaming of having a family of my own.
In fact, I always dreamed I'd be a career woman, traveling the world.
But life threw me a curve ball and I ended up having kids. I was sick myself (pre-Lyme), which was bad enough. And my kids ended up sick too with Lyme, etc, which is a whole other story.
As you say, perhaps this path is being chosen because one of your elder family members might end up needing care that would have otherwise gone to your own child.
But I don't know if that should be THE reason for you not to have a child. Of course only you can determine that.
And you have to ask yourself if you will regret a decision to not have a child, when you are older. Continue searching your heart and soul for the answer that is right for you. It's a tough choice for sure.
I have one child who was born before I became ill. We pray that means I contracted this after she was born, as she hasn't shown any symptoms.
However, we did have to make the painful decision not to have more children. I grew up as an only child, and I never pictured that for my own daughter.
The most painful part is trying to answer for her why she doesn't have siblings. On the days when I feel terrible, it isn't so hard to answer - I cannot imagine the exhaustion I already feel compounded by that of a baby.
But, when I feel "well" it is much more difficult. Then I start to almost consider the risks and weigh it out in my head - for two seconds.
I wish I could give you a way to deal/cope, but as has been wisely said above, it is personal to your situation. It sounds like you have an amazing husband!
Sending you a hug and some empathy.
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Ellen101
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Have you thought about adoption? I have 3 Adopted children and they are the joys of my life:)
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bcb1200
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Sorry..I think this is a mistake. My LLMD is a very famous one. Both he and the famous pediatrician, Dr. J, state that as long as you are on 2 different abx during pregnancy then the baby will be fine. Completely fine. One drug isn't enough, but 2 are. Typically they are Zith and Omnicef or sometimes Zith and Amoxy.
My wife has TBD's and we had a baby born in 2012. She was on meds the entire time. We had the cord blood, cord, and placenta tested for TBD's from CLongen like Dr. J recommends and it came back all clear. We have a happy healthy baby!
There are ways to reduce and/or eliminate the risks.
-------------------- Bite date ? 2/10 symptoms began 5/10 dx'd, after 3 months numerous test and doctors
IgM Igenex +/CDC + + 23/25, 30, 31, 34, 41, 83/93
Currently on:
Currently at around 95% +/- most days. Posts: 3134 | From Massachusetts | Registered: May 2010
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surprise
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Yes, please read Dr. J's information- TF has graciously copied and pasted it on more recent pregnancy threads-
You do not want to look back with regret. And, us women do have a certain time frame.
I had 2 children while untreated unknown Lyme disease- best things that ever happened to me- and only 1 has had some health struggles.
Knowledge is power- God bless.
-------------------- Lyme positive PCR blood, and positive Bartonella henselae Igenex, 2011. low positive Fry biofilm test, 2012. Update 7/16- After extensive treatments, doing okay! Posts: 2518 | From USA | Registered: Nov 2011
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Tammy N.
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My husband and I made the decision to not have children. It wasn't a risk we were willing to take. The extended periods of mysery we have felt with this disease..... we wouldn't wish it on our worst enemy, and it made it clear to us that we didn't want to risk passing this on to an innocent child that we would love more than anything. Also, there were times that we were concerned of how we could care for a child when we hit rough patches ourselves. And then the thought of perhaps dealing with a chronically sick child while we were sick ourselves just made it obvious that we didn't want to gamble with that.
Having said all that.....we still have a lot of love in our lives. We have a very happy, healthy stable marriage, and we have several neices and nephews we love tremendously.
Also, because we don't have all our attention going out to children, we are able to put that energy into our marriage. We feel lucky and blessed to have the relationship that we do. So there is an upside.
Do we wish we were healthy all along and could have had children? Yes. But we are okay with it now.
God bless you as you figure out what is best for you. No one should judge you on this.
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posted
Thank you to all who have shared insight on this topic with me.
beaches- although I am happy to hear that you were gifted with children, I am sad to learn that both you, and they, are afflicted with tbd's. I really believe that those with LD or similar illnesses who happen to have families (whose members might be sick as well), are some of the toughest individuals around. Hopefully a level of healing has come to you all, or will very soon.
rera- thank you for opening up about your situation. It's pleasing to know that you were able to have a seemingly healthy daughter. I'm sure that she brings you lots of joy. I can only imagine how difficult it must've been for you, feeling fine during/after baby, to then only be 'railroaded' by this disease. I hope that you are able to fully restore your health: I'm sure that your daughter would want nothing more as well.
Ellen- What a terrific example you have set by means of adoption. Congratulations on your children! My husband and I definitely think that adopting is a lovely option; it is currently beyond our means, though. However, knowing that you have successfully integrated children into your home environment is very encouraging! I hope that your own illness has not detracted from the meaningfulness of your selfless actions!
bcb- What awesome news that you and your wife were able to have a healthy baby! Many congratulations! I wholly agree with you that this positive result can be achieved (and duplicated). From an earlier exchange that we had on the Forum, I know that we also share physician, so I do know/trust that I'd be safely covered on that front. For me, the decision becomes more unsettling knowing about my infection with Babs. It has, and is still, causing great inflammation/swelling in my body's tissues. As far as I know, certain drugs used to treat Babs have either not been deemed safe in pregnancy, or have not had their associated risks in utero well defined. Atop of this, my heart rhythm issues (despite targeted medication) and ANS dysfunction place a major roadblock in front of us in terms of even thinking about having a baby. I am restricted from taking Azithromycin and many of the Floroquinolones because of their cardiovascular risks (already have wreaked havoc on me in the past). That all said, I certainly appreciate your friendly reminders on this topic!
surprise- thanks for the womanly wisdom! I am also glad to learn that you were able to maintain your pregnancies. I wonder if sometimes with certain situations, the adage is really true: that ignorance is bliss. Earlier into the disease process when my health wasn't yet so compromised, whose not to say that I wouldn't have allowed the then milder (and then unknown) illness to stand in the way of having children? Heck- whose to say that I couldn't have gone unscathed- delivering a healthy baby- back in those days. But alas, I digress. Such "should've, could've thinking" is futile. Anyways, I hope that the health of you and your affected child only improves.
Again, all, thank you very much for weighing in with your sound input!
[ 03-15-2013, 11:49 PM: Message edited by: Lymebulldog ]
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posted
Tammy- seems as though you have really hit the nail on the head, so-to-speak. I feel that I am literally in your shoes (and my husband in your husband's shoes)!
We have newly arrived at the place where the rawness of the decision begins to turn into acceptance. Like you, we have been able to maintain a strong dating relationship, and then marriage, despite the many challenges posed by these diseases. And now, without children in the picture, I only see this trend continuing (if not even with renewed vigor).
The decision to not risk pregnancy/child-rearing, is yet another hurdle that I would have never imagined to arise from an incident so otherwise trivial as a stupid tick bite.
I really can't thank you enough; the fact that your post hits the closest to home, makes your comment that much more meaningful. Thanks for taking the time to reach out. I will undoubtedly go through today with a little more lightness in my heart.
Best to you!
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Tammy N.
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It's nice to connect with like-minded individuals. It definitely helps with the big challenging things....to not feel alone, and to support each other.
Hey, we're in the Northeast also. If we're close enough, we should go on a double date:)
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Just tried, but your mail box is unfortunately full.
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surprise
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I am going to be very honest:
If I were faced with the choice of having children, I would be much more concerned and scared
about the autism epidemic, than I would Lyme disease.
Just a thought for those who are deciding not to have children-
-------------------- Lyme positive PCR blood, and positive Bartonella henselae Igenex, 2011. low positive Fry biofilm test, 2012. Update 7/16- After extensive treatments, doing okay! Posts: 2518 | From USA | Registered: Nov 2011
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beaches
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Oh goodness, yes, I feel the same way surprise! There are SO many kids on the "spectrum" these days it is very disturbing to me.
And, despite so-called facts, I think the vaccination schedule they put babies and toddlers on is ridiculous and I do believe this could be a connection to autism. Three shots at once? Every few months?
I can tell you that having kids with Chronic Lyme and coinfections is no walk in the park to say the least. Watching their struggles and taking care of them has been difficult for me in every way.
But I wouldn't trade them in for healthier models! They have brought great joy and a whole new meaning of "love" into our lives. And despite illness, we manage to have fun and laugh. We are just working a lot harder (and spending more!) than most to regain health. My kids will be healthy again because there is just no other choice as far as I am concerned.
BD, just wondering if you've explored herbals/homeopathics to conquer the coinfections and if these would be a safe option should you decide to get pregnant?
Also, have you consulted with one or more high-risk OB/GYNs? Of course most of them won't be LL, but at least you'd have the opportunity to lay all your concerns/symptoms out there and get some feedback from an MD. Just another thought.
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Tammy N.
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Emptied my mailbox a little.
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