I have been reading some hot and cold information on whether or not Lyme disease can be sexually transmitted. My partner wants to be tested.
This has hit me like a ton of bricks and I don't know exactly how to react. Of course he should get tested. But the thought of me giving him this god awful disease makes me disgusted with myself.
Is it or isn't it?
Posts: 113 | From Hollywood, Florida | Registered: Aug 2016
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This is one article that says it is NOT sexually transmitted. (read about 3/4 down the blog post)
But I've also read some that say it is. Is your partner symptomatic?
Posts: 798 | From Cincinnati, OH | Registered: Jul 2016
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randibear
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get it done but use igenex. worth it for peace of mind.
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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Keebler
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- Yes, it is possible for lyme to be sexually transmitted. Possible, though, is not the same as always. To be clear. Yet, it's not the norm for all couples. It is for some, though also both often have vector bite history, too.
He wants to be tested . .. "This has hit me like a ton of bricks and I don't know exactly how to react" (end quote)
Well, your feeling are how you are reacting. Be careful of those thoughts, though as those might be creeping in from who knows where.
You say: " . . . the thought of me giving him this god awful disease makes me disgusted with myself. . . ." (end quote)
Being 'disgusted' with one's self can be a toxic state. Please reconsider other ways to look at events that simply can happen in a loving relationship regarding a health matter.
Where do those assumptions come from? No answer needed, of course, but it's dangerous to your very being to jump to self disgust. Why order a coat of stigma?
So, be kind to yourself. You two have created a loving relationship. Focus on that.
First of all, why assume you would have given it to him and not he to you? That's possible. One partner just might not exhibit any symptoms.
But - for any condition that might be shared with intimacy, it's time to say "no shame" -- as there was no awareness of the issue or your diagnosis. When you became aware you shared detail. There.
You can likely never know how, when, where, it started etc. and 'so what?' if you could. It's no more shameful than sharing a cold. Yes, lyme is more severe yet this is absolutely nothing -
absolutely nothing to "disgusted with" yourself about. Self hate has no place in our lives. Love matters. Sure, feeling sad that one's partner might turn out to have lyme is appropriate but you will never ever know how that might have come about.
First, though, proper assessment before jumping to all kinds of scenarios. He may not need a test if he is not symptomatic.
There is no test that can prove someone does not have lyme. Sorry if that takes you back a bit but facts matter. Testing is just not to that point.
Symptoms would matter most, though and if he has symptoms, a proper physical assessment and test might be in order.
Things happen. We learn, we grow, we move on. Safety, now, of course.
Second: It's not so likely when both partners would turn out to have lyme that it would necessarily be from each other. It could yet
Vector bites would still be the primary source. And it could be that one person just would not exhibit symptoms clearly in relationship to the timing of a bite. It can take years for lyme to surface.
And there is no room for blame.
Maintain your personal dignity with this issue. It really matters. Maintain your love.
Stick to the facts and where the facts are not clear, do not fill in the spaces with assumptions. Never substitute an assumption for an undetermined factor.
Some things in life we just don't know. We move on to learn more and live in love & respect for ourselves and others. -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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Keebler
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Also what Keebler says! rejoice you have a loving relationship. You never know how things come about for sure. Love yourself and love your partner. Posts: 798 | From Cincinnati, OH | Registered: Jul 2016
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This question gets asked at support groups all the time. The answer seems to be that half of couples share the illness and half do not, as in only one of the two is ill.
Perhaps the partner has a very good immune system, or is a good detoxer - ie has good genes for dealing with the byproducts of the illness.
IGeneX is a good lab to test with, but keep in mind that not testing comes back positive even though someone might have the infection.
See Medical Questions, sticky at the top, Important Information about Lyme and Co-infections - scroll down for the 27 reasons why the test might be negative for positive people.
So I think couples both treat, if they're symptomatic. And many get along very well with each other!
Posts: 13116 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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Keebler
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- Re: link to Robin's reference in post above:
The Lyme Disease Network is a non-profit organization funded by individual donations. If you would like to support the Network and the LymeNet system of Web services, please send your donations to:
The
Lyme Disease Network of New Jersey 907 Pebble Creek Court,
Pennington,
NJ08534USA http://www.lymenet.org/
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