posted
About 9 or so months now I've had horrible worry/anxiety, highly bothersome intrusive thoughts and fears. Yes I've had this alot longer but this **** went into over drive around last spring.
It was bad enough my BP was high over the summer. Never had issues with BP before even at my highest weight of 225 10 years ago.
I have multiple " triggers" but they don't happen at once, thankgod. But when one comes around I get consumed by it, it will leave then another one appears. There's no break, it's back and forth.
I just can't shake this. I don't know if this is Lyme related or from years of psych drugs.
I see a new LLMD in a few months and I'm so worried nothing is gonna change. I'm cautiously optimistic but worried this will be another long dark road with more questions than answers.
My future looks so bleak. I'll be 37 in a few weeks and I feel everything has been a waste. I don't think I'll have what all my friends have. I'm not getting any younger.
I'm worried having a significant other and possibly a child someday will be tarnished by my constant fear of Lyme and spreading it. I feel this disease is a lifestyle and will always be with me. Who would want to be with me and take this on esp with it still being controversial? I've read horror stories on here of families being plaqued and crushed by this disease.
I'm exhausted, in pain everyday and my anxiety just won't leave. How I work fulltime I have no idea but that's where all my energy goes. It sucks. That's my life, work and sleep.
I don't see a normal and healthy life and future. Since first entering lyme treatment almost 3 yrs ago I'm not the same person anymore. Everything crashed down in 2019.
Nothing is helping or reassuring, even the psych med withdrawal articles.
Posts: 597 | From Massachusetts | Registered: Mar 2019
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Bartenderbonnie
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 49177
posted
I know it’s so hard to BELIEVE and UNDERSTAND the circumstances you find yourself in. Your life is currently unrecognizable. The only way out of this, is one step at a time. Day by day. Slowly, subtle gains towards your way back WILL come. Relax and do your best. You will see the light at the end of the tunnel, I promise you.
We all know how we got here, vector born infections.
You mentioned before that you had an indeterminate result on your Bartonella test. Your indeterminate findings mean the lab is seeing something but is not ready to call it positive, Many Lyme patients also have high Epstein Barr results, which makes the immune system to weak to be able to mount the antibody response on the Western Blot. Therefore many LLMD’s view indeterminate results as weak positives.
Little clues matter.
Thank God we have LLMD’s, they are the only ones that are willing to help us.
You can’t see you way out of this mess because you’re sick and you feel awful. It’s that simple. With treatment, you will get better.
I used to think the same way as you, who would want me with my broken body and severe muscle loss. I was deformed from being bedridden. I slowly starting see GOOD days. Then the gym and weight resistance training got me back in better shape than before I got sick.
There’s hope for all of us. Never forget that and you’ll make to the other side. Hang in there and keep up the good fight.
Posts: 2977 | From Florida | Registered: Nov 2016
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No lymetoo I'm not going to cancel with the new doc, dont worry, that's the very last thing I'd do. There are times I wish the appt was sooner. I should have asked to be put on a cancelation list.
Posts: 597 | From Massachusetts | Registered: Mar 2019
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hiker53
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 6046
posted
You can still call and ask to be put on the cancellation list.
-------------------- Hiker53
"God is light. In Him there is no darkness." 1John 1:5 Posts: 8887 | From Illinois | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
With everything going on the still rising cost of gas and everything else going up I may have to cancel and postpone this visit.
Horrible weekend. Can't stop crying, this is new.
Nothings getting better. I just don't see a good outcome with treatment My brains going a mile a minute, can't relax at all.
Posts: 597 | From Massachusetts | Registered: Mar 2019
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-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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Bartenderbonnie
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 49177
posted
I am fairly confident in saying everyone who has/had a Tick Born Infection has suffered from ANXIETY.
Anxiety/Stress is NOT a disease, it is a symptom. Inflammation is activating this response. You must address the ROOT cause of inflammation, it will not just go away on its own.
When I am in the thrones of ANXIETY symptoms, I tell myself, “Bonnie, this is not reality. This is happening because you are sick.”
This seems to work for me. A reality check so I can be in charge of my body. I am also in treatment, staying the coarse, with the ups and downs, and ANXIETY has been put on the back burner. At one point, I couldn’t leave my house, not even to the mailbox. Treatment = symptom relief.
So I want you to say “Kristyn, this is not reality. This is happening because I am sick.” Give yourself a reality check.
Lots of research has been published to validate we are legitimately SUFFERING;
Panic Disorder prevalence found in 82% of patients. Social Anxiety prevalence found in 70% of patients. Generalized Anxiety Disorder prevalence found in 50% of patients. Intrusive/ Bizarre images prevalence found in 40%of patients.
LymeNet’s ‘search’ engine is a great place to find ANXIETY treatments until you can connect with your new LLMD’s expertise.
Posts: 2977 | From Florida | Registered: Nov 2016
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But I hate to say it but it's not that easy. My anxiety is all situational. It is my reality. It's always been that way.
Posts: 597 | From Massachusetts | Registered: Mar 2019
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hiker53
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 6046
posted
Plenty of people have anxiety and overcome illness and other obstacles on their lives.
Try to keep that new LLMD appointment!
-------------------- Hiker53
"God is light. In Him there is no darkness." 1John 1:5 Posts: 8887 | From Illinois | Registered: Aug 2004
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