that's where i'm at tonight. self pity, scared,pain,leftarm paralysis, confusion.

started to get no turn back fatigue abt mid weds. yesterday was hard but pulled through. almost caused a major accident getting home last night. I'm a good driver. It scared me.

Announced to family that I would be home today...no driving, it did'nt feel safe. they didn't believe me. needed to ask neighbor to pick up my son. So hard to ask for help.

Nurse came out to change my needle today, but didn't offer to wait so I could get a quick shower.

one minute i'm ok...the next pain , then can't stop crying.

yes, it's 4 wks since starting zith iv. I guess it's working, huh?

I miss school and work and christmas shopping and remembering.
I miss intimacy and friends. I feel like i'm falling of f the face of the earth.

Well, you're in good company here. It's hard when no one believes you except people on the computer, but it's better they don't make you drive and find out for themselves, right?

I hope your herx won't last long.

This sounds absolutely awful for you! I am so sorry that you are feeling down and out. I remember those days too well.

Zith really did a number on me too. But, I was too stubborn to back off when needed. Please take it from me, if this gets much worse, please contact your doc and let him/her know what is going on, OK? You may need to cut back a bit if this doesn't remedy itself in a few days.

I know it is really difficult for independent minded ones to ask for help. I was that way too. But, what you have to remember is that the ones who love you REALLY do want to help you! It makes THEM feel better if they can do SOMETHING for you. Now is the time to look after yourself, including letting those who have offered share your burden, OK?

Are you drinking plenty of water with real lemon juice?
What about a hot soak in Epsom salts?

Hope you are feeling better real soon! Let us know if there is anything we can do.
Melanie

My family and friends didn't believe I was sick because I have no broken bones or anything visual. They told me not to be lazy and sleeping all the time.

I was very frustrated, sad, and feel so unloved so I stayed away from everyone. I was cast away from the civilization and dealt with my illness. After 2 years my family understood because my sister read an article about the illness. They are now very supportive and loving.

If you could have your family read some articles for them to understand, please, do it. Asking for help is not hard, my dear. Just do it for you and especially for your son. It worths it.

I also discovered I receive so much comfort during my difficult times is to pray or having a conversation with G-d. I actually felt better.

I hope you feel better soon. Take care. Many healing thoughts to you, Achey.

I so hear you...I feel like I'm falling off the end of the earth as well.

I'm on Mepron and Zith now and feel like I'm herxing every day. I cut the Zith back to 1/2 a pill a day. My body couldn't take a whole one, and I'm still a "herxing" fool!

We are all dealing with symptoms that cross all the body's functioning so we experience physical, mental, emotional, as well as neurological issues...ALL AT THE SAME TIME!

People and families see us and we look fine so they just don't get the suffering that goes on here.

Thank God we have this community to vent, get information, and help one another! I'm looking forward to finding myself again and I know it's going to take a much longer time than I thought. I'm glad for my good LLMD!

You take care, we're all thinking about you!

Well, things got worse...I ended up with hrs of paralysis yesterday and a trip to the ER. Turns out the die off was overloading my immune system.

LLMD said take a 2 day abx break. I deaccessed myself last night when it felt like the convulsions and paralysis was going to start up again..... I felt like I was allergic to the needle!

So, I have now had my first lesson in die off toxicity. I guess when the incredible aching in my legs starts again, and my shins and ankles start to itch, I'd beeter back off.

Fortunately have appt at LLMD's on Tuesday am. gonna work out a plan.

today is rest, hot bath, lots of green tea, and self appreciation.