posted
Of course my husband has known all along what has been going on but now my family and friends are acting all weird...like I just told them I'm dying or something.
They keep asking me if I'm okay every 5 minutes. I'm like, yeah...I've been living with these symptoms for 10 years so it's a relief to me to have a dx!
Anyone else's family treat them different after dx? I dont want them to keep treating me like I'm helpless!
-------------------- Cutie Posts: 125 | From Atlanta | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
I don't know what's worse...THAT, or having them think having Lyme is like having a cold or the flu! Most don't get the seriousness of it, so your family is ahead of the game in that regard!
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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bettyg
Unregistered
posted
Cutie, how lucky you are that family members CARE to ask you how you are! Tell them how you are feeling as you go thru things. Let them show you their compassion. I'd trade you!
I have 3 mid-50's brothers who will NOT acknowledge I have anything wrong with me or that it is life-threatening. They have NEVER spoke of it to me. I have 3 including diabetes 2 and sleep apnea, stopping breathing. CPAP breathing machine doesn't help me at all; we have parted ways.
I did a local radio show 8-10 years ago about fibro & chronic fatigue. I called each of their wives since they work locally here. I asked that bros. they LISTEN to this show. They didn't.
1 slept in & perhaps heard 5 minutes. 1 who knows! other one had natl. guard drill so had excuse; however, someone could have taped it for them.
Before my only sister died of breast cancer in the liver, she told my hubby, "the FAMILY thinks it's ALL IN BETTY'S HEAD!" I couldn't believe that having gone to cancer for 9 years and PAIN galore that she couldn't understand either.
Perhaps the SPOON THEORY, "but you don't look sick" would be good for them to read. It's in TREEPATROL'S newbie links.
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hopeful123
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 3244
posted
i'm glad you finally got dx and people around you are taking you seriously.
they won't always treat you like you're dying. it's new to them, that's all
friends and family are still pretty clueless with me. i try really hard not to expect too much from them since it really doesn't do me any good to look to them for real emotional support.
good luck
-------------------- some days you're the bug, some days you're the windshield Posts: 1160 | From NY | Registered: Oct 2002
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cantgiveupyet
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 8165
posted
You are very lucky.
My mom just rolls her eyes and me and sighs when i limp around. She nags me about leaving dishes around (dont have a kitchen in my apartment) I can barely stand to cook. complains that she has to go shopping with me for foood. My friends email or IM me to see how I am...cant understand why im not getting better on abx.
Im still learning to detatch from negative family memebers....who needs it.
Your very lucky to have the support that you do.
-------------------- "Say it straight simple and with a smile."
"Thus the task is, not so much to see what no one has seen yet, But to think what nobody has thought yet, About what everybody sees."
-Schopenhauer
pos babs, bart, igenex WB igm/igg Posts: 3156 | From Lyme limbo | Registered: Oct 2005
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When I was dx'd my sis-in-law said point blank to me: "Now you'll eventually die from this, right?" and I wondered if she was marking her calendar or something?!!!
I was completely stressed out when I told her and then afterward, I didn't know whether to laugh or just cry! How tacky, you know?!!
Then I have family members who have run the gamut from thinking I might just drop dead to deciding that I was some melodramatic kook that was 'attracting' this misfortune to myself because of bad karma, a bad attitude, or some spiritual lack I had.
In other words, if I prayed harder, had a better attitude, and lived a better past life - perhaps I could just snap outta this whole Lyme broo-ha-ha!
Take their love & concern for you and cherish it, honey!
Hugs &
-------------------- DR. Wiseass NOT a real doc - just a real wise Posts: 792 | From USA | Registered: Jan 2005
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troutscout
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 3121
posted
uNFORTUNATELY i HAVE FOUND THAT SUPPORT WAXES AND WANES.
-------------------- Now is the time in your life to find the "tiger" within. Let the claws be bared, and Lyme BEWARE!!! www.iowalymedisease.com [/URL] Posts: 5262 | From North East Iowa | Registered: Sep 2002
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char
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 8315
posted
Hi,
My family is supportive, but they are still trying to get their mind around the situation. 5yrs in and they are thankfully catching on.
We moved to another state last summer. A couple days before we were scheduled to go I looke around and thought I can't get us together. My packing 1 box a day, which was a big deal, wasn't going to do it.
My project engineer ms energy called and said she was available to help. She showed up and took care of packing no questions asked, just got it done. Major blessing.
I admit a family member wants to come, but I don't have her as she is quite high-maintenance herself.
posted
I'm preparing to make this announcement, myself. I've been ill with "fibromyalgia/chronic fatigue" for about 16 years -- always hid it well, never complained much, only those really, really close to me even knew something was wrong -- most people just thought I was terribly introverted and liked my alone time. Finally got the Lyme dx early this month -- still waiting on the labs, but LLNP was certain it was Lyme and began treatment (I had ticks and bullseyes, so it is a no-brainer, even for the layman to comprehend. My NP is wonderful, btw!)
I'm waiting for the lab results to make the announcement, so hopefully I have "proof" that my family/friends will be able to understand. Plus, then I'll know a bit more about what, exactly, I'm fighting (co-infections, etc.) My immediate family and closest friends know what is going on, but no one else, yet. I'll be interested to see how they react.
I'm so tired of all the well meaning advice about reducing stress, thinking better thoughts, praying more, etc. I try to take it in the spirit in which it is given -- they really do want to help -- but it gets old.
-------------------- "Looks like freedom but it feels like death.. It's something in between, I guess"
Leonard Cohen, from the song "Closing Time" Posts: 822 | From California | Registered: Jan 2006
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Linda LD
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6663
posted
Anyone that gets a positive, synpathetic response--count yourself lucky.
My father (retired malpractice attorney for the Insurance Companies) and my brother (radiologist who refuses to look at any of my families Western Blot tests or to talk to my doctor), say that I am mentally ill.
I am a hypercondriact--even though prior to having my second child I never took any meds excet for sinus or birth control. I never went to the doctor and when my husband moved in with me I didn't even have aspirein in my medical cabinet.
If you research hypercondriacts--they always have that symptom--it doesn't just happen when they turn 40.
They say the sad thing is i am "projecting" my mental illness on my children. You find out who your friends are when you get this, so be happy if they BELIEVED you!
Linda
Posts: 1171 | From Knoxville, TN US | Registered: Dec 2004
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HEATHERKISS
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6789
posted
Yes,
I've been dropped like a hot potato by some freinds and some family.
No one likes to be around sick people. WHATEVER! What comes around goes around.
You just have to move on with your head high.
-------------------- HEATHER
Posts: 1974 | From ABERDEEN, NJ 07747 | Registered: Jan 2005
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posted
Hi I'm new here Thought I'd jump right in. Sad fact is what everybody else is saying rings true with me too.
I was diagnosed last July, & have been sick for 6 1/2 yrs.
My brothers { I have 2} and there wives seem to care less, and They don't want to deal with the quote " negativity".
My dad doesn't say much. My mom the drama queen tries to make it all about her. How sad it is for her to have a daughter with a chronic illness. Who can no longer help her with her own stuff.{She's a mess herself.}
At least I have an angel of a husband, and two beautiful babes.
Be thankful, and let them love you, worry, and do as much for you as they care to.
It doesn't make you helpless. It helps them deal with the facts of this messed up illness.
It gives them something to do with their own helpless feelings. Its just that they love you.
In the mean time baby just keep truckin'
[ 21. February 2006, 11:30 AM: Message edited by: Yemaya ]
Posts: 188 | From NM | Registered: Feb 2006
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bettyg
Unregistered
posted
quote:Originally posted by Yemaya: Hi I'm new here. Thought I'd jump right in. Sad fact is what everybody else is saying rings true with me too.
I was diagnosed last July, & have been sick for 6 1/2 yrs. My brothers {I have 2} and there wives seem to care less.
They don't want to deal with the quote " negativity". My dad doesn't say much. My mom the drama queen tries to make it all about her.
How sad it is for her to have a daughter with a chronic illness, who can no longer help her with her own stuff.{She's a mess herself.} At least I have an angel of a husband, and two beautiful babes.
Be thankful, and let them love you, worry, and do as much for you as they care to. It doesn't make you helpless.
It helps them deal with the facts of this messed up illness. It gives them something to do with their own helpless feelings. Its just that they love you.
In the mean time baby just keep truckin'
breaking up more for us neuros. Bettyg
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