posted
I have to say once again what this site means to me.
Like I have read in some other posts, you are now my family. I mean that; more than friends, you are my family.
My illness has cost me many of my relationships, relatives, friends, co-workers, etc.
I don't say that to be a whiner. I say it because it happened.
I totally agree that unless someone has walked in our shoes, they really cannot fathom what this illness can do.
I admit my part in it --- times that I was too sickly, too irritable, too confused, too "taken over" by my symptoms or their results that I could not be the family member, friend, girlfriend, or worker that I needed to be at the time.
I didn't fully understand why. So obviously I don't think they could either. It causes alot of frustration and can fracture relationships.
However, back to my point. Again I have to keep reminding myself (since my neuro and psych symptoms are my worst) that it's the illness, not me, in many cases.
(Yes, TC, I still have the "I am not crazy" in lipstick on my forehead! LOL!)
But again, forgive my wandering brain and back to my original point ---
The holidays this year are really hard. I know, I'm a grown up and it's silly to imagine feeling angry and hurt that this Christmas I am sick, broke, and alone (EXCEPT FOR YOU GUYS!!!).
You know what I mean. I wish I had gotten a card, other than from my physical therapist that I havent seen in 5 years.
I wish I had gotten a phone call from my relatives or friends.
I wish someone had offered to come see me.
I wish I could count on getting a gift of some kind from my family or friends.
NOW I KNOW THIS ALL SOUNDS AWFUL AND DEPRESSING, but it is the truth. And again, this board is the only place where I can actually admit this stuff.
So, this morning I decided to come on here and see what I could find to feel better about this Holiday Thing, and what is the very first post I come across?
Geneal's Christmas Wish List.
IT WAS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED.
Again -- you guys are the best.
In many ways, you have given me more than my family and friends ever have.
Have a wonderful weekend!
OH -- and a P.S. to anyone who PM's me --- if you wouldn't mind giving me your email addy to respond since I don't always have computer access. At those times I can only respond by email
-------------------- The Bite: July 1995 Next 13 years: Treated for things I didn't have Symptom total: 45 1 faint Lyme IgM May 2000 5 More negative tests IGeneX says YES! 3/16/09 Finally feel human: 2012 Posts: 120 | From Plainsboro NJ | Registered: Feb 2007
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bettyg
Unregistered
posted
mari,
we understand perfectly! yes, geneal's timing of her spirtual post was just what we needed and do all year thru.
yes, we are walking in your shoes; we fully understand most of it IF we have that same illness, etc.
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Geneal
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 10375
posted
I am glad I was able to help you feel better.
The friends I have here always make me feel better.
Always.
I always say that family is the Best of the Best and the Worst of the Worst.
For some reason that I never will fathom,
Family members feel they can treat you worse than they would a stranger.
I don't understand it.
I have had to find my peace with it though.
Too much energy wasted on something or someone else's perception
That I cannot change. I won't even try anymore.
I have gently closed that door.
I leave a window cracked in the hope that one day our relationships will improve.
I am okay with that.
You have family here.
Family that has walked a mile or two (or 3 or 4 ) in your shoes.
You are never alone.
Hugs,
Geneal
Posts: 6250 | From Louisiana | Registered: Oct 2006
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