randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
you all know without me telling you that when i get sick, he goes off. he doesn't believe in lyme and i hear about it. usually ends up in a big fight.
we had looked at a new camaro and we both fell in love with it. it was fully loaded. he told me i could have it if i wanted it, but i can't cause i worry about finances all the time.
so today he says "well you never do anything for yourself and you're sick all the time, if you don't want the camaro, i'll buy you a corvette".....i'm not lying.
he says we can get one and it will be yours, you pick it out, but if you want the camaro, then we'll get that.
maybe it's his way of trying to be civil, hell, who knows.
i told him well we'll see when i get better. i'm just too sick right now. so he said when i get up and around we'll go car shopping.
but i'm not going to buy. my honda is in perfect condition and it's a 04 fully loaded and she's really pretty.
but at least it cheered me up for awhile.
certainly made me feel better. so do you often find yourself getting these unexpected little glimmers of what life could be or maybe would have been?
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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If he's has that kind of $$$$ to buy a fancy car, then I guess finances are pretty good!
I will send you a tick, you can stick it on him, then he'll believe in lyme! Posts: 872 | From New York City | Registered: Jun 2008
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joalo
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 12752
posted
I've been debating whether I should post this or not...
My sister's emotionally abusive husband of 35 years bought her a beautiful, brand new, shiny, white corvette.
Then he left her for the woman he had been having an affair with for two years. Sis sold the corvette and invested the money.
She was devastated at first but now she is happier (without him) than she had been for many years.
-------------------- Sick since January 1985. Misdiagnosed for 20 years. Tested CDC positive October 2005. Treating since April 2006. Posts: 3228 | From Somewhere west of the Mississippi | Registered: Aug 2007
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
well i have to admit he fell in love with the camaro. it was white with orange stripes. i liked it but not the color.
hmmm, i think it was a beau geste....
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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posted
Maybe he doesn't know how to show you he cares. Maybe his "language of love" is "things." Take the car. Now.
-------------------- sixgoofykids.blogspot.com Posts: 13449 | From Ohio | Registered: Feb 2007
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- I normally hesitate with such personal words. However, based on many of your past and current threads and your openness with all this . . .
I just have a hard time ever trusting anyone who has bullied me. It is a pattern and whether the car is a way to show affection or not, it will not correct the underlying reasons and his drive for emotionally abusive behavior.
Being practical, though, do corvettes appreciate rather than depreciate in value? It could be a good investment, actually.
I assume he'd be paying if full as, otherwise, if something happened to him, you'd be liable for paying the balance yourself.
This is a gift for YOU, after all (right?), so be sure the title is in YOUR name and that you are the sole driver listed for your auto insurance - so as to protect your gift (and lower your insurance rates).
You have put on that telfon shield and protect yourself. If he goes through some sort of counseling or anger management, he may be able to be trusted sometime in the future. But this is a guy, who just days ago, treated you very badly. And that is just the latest of such "conversations" you have posted here, through tears.
That pattern can't be stopped by the most beautiful car in the world - unless he is aware and promises to behave with respect. But he may not even know how.
How one is treated and how one treats others - well, what can be more important than that to our overall health, well-being and safety? Material objects pail in comparison to the language of respect.
It would be great if the two of you could go through couples counseling - or call it communication counseling. Communication is the hardest skill in the world and we get no training in it.
Communication counseling can be a very positive approach and a way to help breath fresh, clean air into your relationship. Learning how not just to verbalize our thoughts but also listen really requires an objective coach - for both of you. -
[ 11-22-2009, 05:33 PM: Message edited by: Keebler ]
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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