randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
house partner
excellent cleaner (persecutes doesn't clean!) old fashioned southern cook takes out trash does modest landscaping excellent with laundry, ironing good for running errands good at organizing absolutely loves pets loves to decorate
downside must feed not real good with babies must be in bed by 8 or 9 loner needs lots of bath time has to have cable or satellite tv NO SMOKING..... must supply with romance books
description vertically challenged, can't reach top shelves
well, anyway it's a thought...
got any takers!!
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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posted
Babe, Silverwolf and I would love to have you however
Can you make fried chicken? Good grits? A decent pecan pie? Is 8 or 9 CST or MST? Must: like to watch Survivor, Iron Chef America, Holmes on Homes, and Chopped (we do have cable and our favorite channels are Food Network and HGTV)
We'll need to get our porta potty out of storage (only one bathroom here).
Long, hot, baths not a problem as our water heater is quick.
I'm 6'2" so the vertical challenge is not an issue (besides, we have grabber nabbers from the med supply place for hard to reach items)
We are frequently sidelined by migraines and very frequent trips to the potty (for Silver, I have other "things"). Splendid suppliment shopping forays available on request!
-------------------- I have a good time wherever I go! Posts: 665 | From Lost Wages, NV | Registered: May 2006
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- All matters of consolation implied here but, when I see a fire I run first; console later.
See an attorney. You should not be the one required to leave your home for abusive circumstances you've described over time. It should be the other way around.
See an attorney and also a good counselor to help you better frame all this and reconcile what you can, both as a couple and also within yourself. Both professionals are really essential. -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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Tracy9
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7521
posted
I am looking for a roommate. You are more than welcome....if you think you can tolerate living in the midst of 26 wooded acres in CT. I am serious.
Having just split, I am kind of lonely. I have an empty guest room, huge house, and beautiful home.
13 years Lyme & Co.; Small Fiber Neuropathy; Myasthenia Gravis, Adrenal Insufficiency. On chemo for 2 1/2 years as experimental treatment for MG. Posts: 4480 | From Northeastern Connecticut | Registered: Jun 2005
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Tracy9
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7521
posted
I need a cook, I'm too sick to cook
I have a jacuzzi tub and steam shower
I need landscaping more than anything!!!
Inground pool and hot tub to be completed in spring
In fact, everything you listed is everything I need
No one smokes Have tons of romance books Don't have cable in guest room but we'll get it hooked up No babies YOu can go to bed whenever you like, girl We are night owls but will supply you with earplugs.
13 years Lyme & Co.; Small Fiber Neuropathy; Myasthenia Gravis, Adrenal Insufficiency. On chemo for 2 1/2 years as experimental treatment for MG. Posts: 4480 | From Northeastern Connecticut | Registered: Jun 2005
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
i believe you live near hartford, right?
what's your weather right now?
anybody got pets, dogs or cats? i love animals, gotta have those.
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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posted
Randi.. You're not really leaving Mike, are you? ( not that you shouldn't!! )
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
well, let's put it this way. if he doesn't shape up, i am outtie..
maybe at least for a couple of weeks, could be months...
i talked to my one sister and she wants me to come to ohio. she's in a big ole house and she's remodelling adn has 5 (egads) cats. her house is kind of old but neat. unfortunately i can't buy all the stuff she wants to do. i can do food, gas, cleaning, all that stuff, but i can't pay for remodelling. so there's ulterior motive there. and besides, she smokes and lives in a very bad neighborhood. i wouldn't stay one night without a security alarm.
so yeah, to answer your question, if i thought i could get out of here for a while, i seriously, seriously might do it.
might be nice for change to meet some new people.
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
oh, tex, i make killer pecan pie, cherry, apple with walnut sauce. great waffles, breakfasts, meatloaf, and love grits for breakfast.
yeah, love to cook. anything. have to order pizza tho, don't do that.
gotta eat out at least once a week -- texas roadhouse, or outback, chili's, chinese and mexican. love indian food. but prefer steak and potatoes.
oh yeah, will bring tons of own medicine and herbs.
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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posted
I left my first husband in MD. I took my two little boys (2 and 4) and moved to CA. No house, no car, no job. But we survived! I got very sick for awhile, but landed on my feet.
Looking back, I realize I could have kept the house and sent him packing. I could have made him pay for my lawyer, etc. But I needed a change...a complete change. So I did it. Best decision I ever made!!!
So listen to Keebler...she is absolutely right. It may be best if you do that, if only to get things settled legally....ie a separation agreement.
If you want to check it out, Nolo Press has a few excellent books on this topic. I took a terrible financial beating because I moved so quickly. But I had to get my boys out of that environment! And me, too!
Both of them have thanked me several times for doing it. And I kept up their relationship with their father...but they realized what had happened and pronounced him to be "crazy"! Even my ex apologized to me many years later.
My heart is with you, Randi. It always takes courage to make changes in our lives. But many times we do it and then wonder what took us so long! I wish you the best of luck!
-------------------- DOCTOR: "I don't think you are sick." PATIENT: "We are all entitled to our opinions. I don't think you are a doctor." Posts: 697 | From Northern California | Registered: Jul 2009
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posted
I had to move to a shelter with my 2 kids and I was the one paying the bills. He wouldn't move out! I don't know how to do it, but it would have been nice to make him move out, but it was very good for the kids to be in a shelter around a bunch of other kids instead of home and lonely like their dad was (ha ha.) Anyway, I'd love to make Tracy's house a house for single lymies. When my youngest son moves out, I'll die of loneliness. I think life like this sucks. How does one socialize with people and make friends? It seems on-line is the only way.
-------------------- Dying is easy. Living is harder. Posts: 257 | From owensboro kentucky | Registered: Mar 2008
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kam
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 3410
posted
Sure hope you lovely ladies find peaceful and safe places to live and heal.
Posts: 15927 | From Became too sick to work or do household chores in 2001. | Registered: Dec 2002
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map1131
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 2022
posted
Sometimes we must eliminate a HUGE toxin from our bodies to begin any healing.
Pam
PS- sorry we aren't taking any boarders now. We have had 3, my adult daughter and two grandsons in our home for 18 mths. Grandchildren bring you joy but man oh man.
-------------------- "Never, never, never, never, never give up" Winston Churchill Posts: 6478 | From Louisville, Ky | Registered: Jan 2002
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I left my abusive ex a decade ago, way before I had Lyme, but I had other health problems at the time that were triggered and exacerbated by the stress of living with him.
Maybe I could have fought in court to come out economically better off, but I did not want any more stress that was already killing me.
I took the debts and the minimum I needed for myself, made a divorce agreement that he was willing to sign, and had my divorce filed and done in 24 hours. There was still a waiting period until it was final, but no court and no fighting over who got the dining room table.
I was so conflicted about my decision beforehand that I thought I would be afterwards, too. Instead I got happier every day after I left him.
More years later than I was actually married to him, I am still paying off some of the debts, so it's worth a thought to fight for the house or money if you can stand it--up to you what would do you the most good.
I just wanted to get away and have no more contact with him, and I succeeded, and started recovering my health and my self esteem, which he had taken away from me.
But I got it back and then some, so there!
I was doing great with that plan until I got Lyme last year, oops. But I've still got the self esteem, so I'll be okay now.
You're not alone going through this. You be strong and do whatever you have to do to take care of yourself.
He does not deserve you. No one should have to be treated the way you've described that he's treated you.
PM me if you want to chat.
Hugs,
Light
-------------------- Don't forget to laugh! And when you're going through hell, keep going!
Bitten 5/25/2009 in Perry County, Indiana. Diagnosed by LLMD 12/2/2009. Posts: 756 | From Inside the tunnel | Registered: Jan 2010
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kam
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 3410
posted
Light...good to hear your story. So many get stuck in the victim role. Good to hear from someone who went from victim to victor.
Posts: 15927 | From Became too sick to work or do household chores in 2001. | Registered: Dec 2002
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sutherngrl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 16270
posted
I too left my first husband of 18 years. He drank and became psychologically abusive; and one day I had just had enough. I realized I am worth more than that, and Randi.....so are you!
You don't realize how toxic those kinds of relationships are when you get all caught up in the middle of it. But once you walk away from it and see it from afar, you will.
I hired an attorney, big surprise to him.! Didn't ask for much and he signed, and 90 days later he was history. Best decision I ever made.
My life was so much better after that. No one around to put me down constantly. No one to drag me down with them. He was so toxic!
I swore off men after that, but.......
A year and a half later I met the most wonderful man on earth and 2 years after that we got married. In March it will be 9 great years.... with a "real" partner; someone who respects me and stands up for me. There is no reason under the sun to live with anyone that doesn't.
Posts: 4035 | From Mississippi | Registered: Jul 2008
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posted
A major problem I had back when I was married, and continuing until the last couple of years, was very bad bronchitis every November to March.
My ex-husband frequently threatened to leave me if I didn't stop coughing and let him get some sleep.
Occasionally he would even put a pillow over my face while I was sleeping, because he was angry that I was snoring.
I would wake up flailing around, in fear of my life, and he would laugh.
Fast forward various years until I had a really nice boyfriend who I dated for a couple of years.
He said his brother had asthma when he was a kid. When I would start coughing, he would rub my back and make me a cup of hot tea.
We broke up for "normal" reasons unrelated to either abuse or illness, and stayed friendly.
I am not in a relationship right now, but I have a very good male friend who tells me I'm wonderful and important and nags me to stay on my diet, take my meds and take good care of myself.
I just wanted to point out that there are good ones out there somewhere, who have compassion for sick people. Sometimes they or their relatives have been sick, too.
Nobody should have to stay with someone who responds to their pain with derision instead of compassion.
-------------------- Don't forget to laugh! And when you're going through hell, keep going!
Bitten 5/25/2009 in Perry County, Indiana. Diagnosed by LLMD 12/2/2009. Posts: 756 | From Inside the tunnel | Registered: Jan 2010
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sutherngrl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 16270
posted
When you live in a toxic relationship long enough, it becomes hard to believe that there really are good men out there. It also lowers your self esteem to live that way, and soon you are convinced that you don't deserve a better life.
Once you escape that lifestyle, you look back and wonder what in the world was I thinking???
Posts: 4035 | From Mississippi | Registered: Jul 2008
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- It is also quite possible to be totally happy alone (but with good friends, of course). Amazing but true. We don't really need mates.
Oh, when it's a good match on all the right levels for all the right reasons, that's great. But you do not need someone else to make you happy. Life can be very enjoyable as a solo act. There was a time I never would have thought that but I have found it to be true - and that is very nice, indeed.
(Speaking independently of lyme, of course - lyme's a drag to live with, for sure.) -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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sutherngrl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 16270
posted
Very true Keebler. Only "YOU" can make you happy!
Posts: 4035 | From Mississippi | Registered: Jul 2008
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Hoosiers51
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15759
posted
I agree with Keebler. I believe that marriage is not for everyone. People should not just assume they need to be married (not saying anyone here is, speaking in general).
Some people are much more productive, and are better at serving others, and have happier lives, as single adults. Look at Mother Teresa. Good thing she didn't get married! She wouldn't have been able to do all the things she did. (not that she was "single," because she was a nun. But you get the idea...she chose a different path).
Posts: 4590 | From Midwest | Registered: Jun 2008
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Tracy9
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7521
posted
Randibear, I'm about a half hour from Hartford, 20 minutes from UConn...my son's high school is actually on the UConn campus.
I have two cats, had two dogs but was too sick to care for them and after so many tickets for them "roaming" into the nasty neighbor's yard, I had to finally relinquish them. I am still heartbroken; I had Bailey, our golden retriever, for 8 1/2 years.
We do plan to get a little house dog when I get better, and I was promised visits from Bailey, but I am so worried I'll just break down and sob I haven't gone there yet, but I digress.
Anyway, I can send you pics of my house or you can see them on LymeFriends I think....it's truly like a private retreat....hate to see someone as kind and giving as you in a bad situation. You can come get a break whenever you like.
13 years Lyme & Co.; Small Fiber Neuropathy; Myasthenia Gravis, Adrenal Insufficiency. On chemo for 2 1/2 years as experimental treatment for MG. Posts: 4480 | From Northeastern Connecticut | Registered: Jun 2005
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