map1131
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 2022
posted
Today was one of those days. My 32 yr old daughter and my 2 grandsons now 7 & 10 moved out of our home. She moved in almost 3 yrs ago after going thru divorce and trying to make it out in the world.
She moved in because she went to school to become a Dental Asst. Did great in school and loved it. It was about 5 month program.
Well the economy collapsed and dental office were hit hard by it all. People put dental way down their list of necessities. Insurance gone with jobs.
They were suppose to be here a year at most. Step mom had convinced her to go and get out of the restaurant server rat race. I thought it was great when it all started but....
We found that the $17,000 Sallie Mae loan to pay for this school was a rip off. These small speciality type schools/trade places have popped up all over the city.
$17,000 Sallie Mae paid them that much money for this school training? Sallie Mae had no business giving this divorced single mother of 2 that loan.
Our state is investigating all this little universities/schools and why the loan default rate is so high with these groups??????
Rip OFF.
But today they moved out into a very good situation for her and the boys. My husband and I are back to empty nesters.
My grandsons are my heart and soul. My daugher and I did develope a great mother daughter relationship again. Believe me it took me the last 6 mths of preaching and teaching and talking to get her butt in gear.
She's always worked. Great worker since she was 16 yr old. She works hard but she hasn't been smart enough to practice good money mgmt.
Spends it as fast as she makes it. Well I've done my last mothering role on that subject. She either gets it or she spends her life with tons and tons of clothes and crap or a roof over her childrens head.
50/50 custody which is good for children in most cases. Divorce is a nightmare for children and I didn't really see it when I divorced 30 yrs ago.
Seeing divorce through the eyes of your grandchildren is tough. So today I cried because I am happy but I'm going to miss them.
Good thing is they can't wait to come spend the night with us and we can just be Nana and Papa's sleepover special nights again.
TBTG for answering my prayers.
Pam
-------------------- "Never, never, never, never, never give up" Winston Churchill Posts: 6478 | From Louisville, Ky | Registered: Jan 2002
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posted
Hope things work out well for everyone!!!! How far away will they be??
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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map1131
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 2022
posted
15 miles. Not far. I feel good about where they are. Male older cousin's house, single father/solo parent. Plenty of space for 1 female adult and 1 male adult and 3 boys. lol
Pam
-------------------- "Never, never, never, never, never give up" Winston Churchill Posts: 6478 | From Louisville, Ky | Registered: Jan 2002
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Dogsandcats
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 28544
posted
I have shared lately my youngest is going to college in September. My other son lives up north and has mental challenges, he hurts all the time and I hurt for him. I am not ready for the dreaded empty nest, but it isn't a choice.
I would never want my sons to not have all the opportunities available to them. I don't want either of them to be mom's caretaker....but I will not like the too quiet house. So I guess like you Map1131, you will have great fun sleepovers, and that joy will restore your heart and soul.
Mine will be back with laundry when he learns it isn't much fun. But we will sit and laugh. So I guess it is bittersweet, blessed by God and another way we comfort one another....hugs
-------------------- God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he'll be there.
Billy Graham Posts: 1967 | From California | Registered: Oct 2010
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phyl6648
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 28522
posted
Map1131, this sounds like I had written it. Except it was my grandaughter and two great grans. Exactly the same career and why she moved. This is weird.
As far as the Sallie-Mae I co-signed for my grandson and he lost his job got behind on payments and they were coming after me bad.. So I had to take every dime I had and pay the darn thing off. They did settle for half.
I miss my babies but know this is best for them, well I think.
I so can relate like I said I could have written almost the same statement. Except I had two grandchildren involved.. My granddaughter got a grant for her dental assistant program since she had the two babies and no money. My grandson lost his job and was unable to pay.. All that money and now he is working for minimum wage..It sucks.
If our children can be happy and make it so can we but when they have problems etc. I had rather it be me cause seems I take it harder than they do.
Posts: 1058 | From VA | Registered: Oct 2010
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map1131
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 2022
posted
Well I have a note to self. First I'm calling Sallie Mae. I don't like my tax dollars being spent on fraud.
2nd I'm calling the state's Attorney General who has been investigating these rip off schools.
3rd I'm calling this school and speaking to the highest ranking thief I can get ahold of and telling them I have reported them to Sallie Mae and the Atty General's office.
I'm also going to write an editoral to the newspaper. I didn't co-sign for this loan. I was hoping step mom did since she had the brilliant idea.
I've told my daughter who has a 530 credit score you are screwed. It is much higher than 17 thousand now.
As Dave Ramsey would say.....Sallie Mae needs a bedroom in your home until you kick her out the door. I do not see that happening anytime soon and we refuse to pay Sallie.
We put a roof over their head, feed them and baby sat so tax dollars wouldn't be spent to keep this single mom and 2 kids.
Now, daddy-o was court ordered to pay for Medical Insurance. He didn't do it and the children are on Passport. I can't wait for the law to catch up with daddy-o.
Daddy-o has a rude awakening coming his way very soon. TBTG!!!! My grandchildren have to be exchanged between mom and dad by court ordered in a place that is ran by gov for abused and ill neglected children. Tax dollars at work, but they also survive by generous charity giving folks.
It is my number one priority charity org. I do not want this to be my grandchilren's life. The oldest knows why he and his brother are being protected by the law.
I will DO whatever I must for my grandchildren to have a good healthy life. Daddy-o you can't mess with my blood.
Pam
-------------------- "Never, never, never, never, never give up" Winston Churchill Posts: 6478 | From Louisville, Ky | Registered: Jan 2002
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phyl6648
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 28522
posted
I hear you Pam.. Keep me updated on Sallie-Mae.
My little great gran's dad has never been there for them. Never paid a dime so he is in jail hope he stays. Hope my granddaughter will ask him to give up his parental rights soon. Even though he is in jail still no money from state for child support.
I so hate little ones have to go through this.
Good luck
Posts: 1058 | From VA | Registered: Oct 2010
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