posted
First, it has been a rough week physically. Too tired and in too much pain to go out for birthday dinner Thursday.
Then, the "belated gift" arrived via an email on Friday.
In an email, I was told that I would not be offered a teaching contract next year. I taught there, at an independent school for 20 yrs. I have had to be on leave since Thanksgiving due to all the health problems.
The email said it really hurt them to let me go, but that it was necessary, oh, and they'd wanted me to make some changes but I hadn't demonstrated that I would/could because I wasn't there. In other words, legally said I wasn't performing to there expectations.
Here's where I am. Feel beaten down lower than I've ever been. No income. Having to make medication choices, etc, as we all do. Now, no job to return to when I get able. Husband and kids have been great.
I'm asking for your prayers for my health, and now for help discerning what my next chapter will be. (I feel scared as well as sad, because I have been praying for God to send me clear signs of what my next parts of my life should be. Maybe this email is one?)
I do not want to dwell in bitterness or questioning myself and beating myself up because part of me interpreted that I must have been a terrible teacher for them to handle it all this way.
Your prayers are desired. Know how much I appreciate all of you. This will pass, but now I have a combination of physical and emotional pain that is overwhelming.
-------------------- 'Hope' is a thing with feathers, that perches in the soul-- Emily Dickinson Posts: 160 | From Indiana | Registered: Nov 2012
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BoxerMom
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 25251
posted
Oh Dove! I am so sorry. Loss upon loss. Heartbreaking.
I have to ask, was it legal for them to let you go? Are you on FMLA or short-term disability? Have other teachers taken time off for medical treatment (cancer?) or maternity leave?
You may want to consult an employment attorney to make sure they had just cause. Don't assume they did just because of the wording in the email. And print that email!
You did NOT deserve this. I have no doubt you are a great teacher. 20 years? Looks like the school thought so, too.
I'm sure the decision was financial, if you are at a private school. That is not your fault! Lyme is not your fault!
If you cannot or choose not to fight this, take a deep breath and relax. Focus on your treatment. Think of the extra time you will have to devote to your recovery.
Teachers have many options. Changing schools? Subbing? Teaching at community college? Tutoring? Developing educational materials? Furthering your own education to specialize?
Following a dream, maybe?
Your life is not over. When you are feeling better, you will come up with all sorts of options.
For now, grieve and recover. I'm glad you have a supportive family. We're thinking of you.
posted
Boxer mom, thanks for your perspective. Yes, private school, not up to a fight; they said they "had concerns" about my teaching this year.
I had gone to them early on to tell them that my doc wanted me to do less when I asked not to do an extracurricular I had done for years. I expressed concern on being able to do all of my duties do to the Lyme, which had been diagnosed in August 2012.
As my husband keeps saying, there were some good years and memories there. My daughter says to remember that I wanted to teach to the top when they wanted to make students and parents happy, a change from years past.
Yes, now is the time to focus on getting better. FMLA ended on Feb 28, so I got a letter about that last Tuesday.
Grief and pain right now. Just need to know I'm on the right path, both medically (treating for Lyme and parasite and some other issues with my back) and with using my talents.
What will be my purpose in life now?
-------------------- 'Hope' is a thing with feathers, that perches in the soul-- Emily Dickinson Posts: 160 | From Indiana | Registered: Nov 2012
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posted
You will find your purpose. God will help you!! I had to retire from teaching after 21 yrs .. thanks to Lyme. It was very painful to leave.
I still miss not teaching. By the time I got well from Lyme it was too late to go back .. at least for me, it was.
Perhaps you can teach in another capacity once you begin to feel better. Think about the things you love to do. Maybe something will come to mind that you are able to do.
God bless you. I know you will get thru this. Your family will help!!
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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lax mom
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 38743
posted
All I can say is there must be something greater for you on the other side of this.
Silverwolf
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9196
posted
Hi <<<<< Dove7 >>>>>,
I'm praying for you,and sent a PM.
many cyberhugs,being sent your way.
Jus' That Silverwolfi
-------------------- 2006,May-August2006 Dx w/ Lyme/Bartonella/White Matter Lesion Disease on Brain. [ Clinical Dx w/ two positives and several IND's on the tests from Igenex ], Prior Dx of CFIDS/CEBV 1992, and FMS '93-'94 Diabetes*2 Dx 10/'08 Posts: 3581 | From SE Idaho | Registered: May 2006
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momindeep
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7618
posted
I am sure that the Lord has a great plan for your life and I hope that after the dust settles you will be able to take a more objective look at this truth and be open to the changes.
Remember God is only good,,,that isn't some flip statement...you can rest your heart, mind and soul on that.
Posts: 1512 | From Glenwood City WI | Registered: Jul 2005
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Dekrator48
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 18239
posted
You will find your new path.
God loves you and He has good plans for you.
It's best not to try to figure things out (as I always used to do), but to pray a lot and let God lead you.
There are some good suggestions above.
I find that when I feel hurt by someone (like the people who let you go), it helps to pray for them.
I'm sure you are a really great teacher.
You will come out of this a stronger and better person.
Praying for you!
-------------------- The fibromyalgia I've had for 32 years was an undiagnosed Lyme symptom.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11 Posts: 6076 | From Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
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posted
I just finished reading Joel Osteen's book, "I Declare - 31 Promises to Speak Over Your Life". Very powerful and uplifting! Highly recommend it.
Posts: 8981 | From Illinois | Registered: May 2006
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sutherngrl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 16270
posted
So sorry for your loss. I can relate because I had to quit a job that I absolutely loved due to being so ill with Lyme Disease. That was over 6 years ago. I was devastated for several years after loosing that job.
Now my husband who is a few years older than me is ready to retire and build a house on a golf course. So things have worked out in the end. I now just tell people that I am retired, and not that I had to quit my job due to illness.
Its like finally I can move on. We can start a new season of our lives and it feels so right. I know that God has lead me through my journey to this point. Just trust in Him. He will lead you to where he wants you to be. He has a purpose for your life.
Don't mourn the loss of your job. I did for years and yet it all worked out in the end.
Posts: 4035 | From Mississippi | Registered: Jul 2008
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posted
Sutherngrl, thank you. I was questioning so much today. Should I have told them I was so sick? Should I have struggled on? etc.
Hope&praying, I haven't gone to the library in a long, long time. I'll see if I can get Olsteen's book on audio.
I've talked to our pastor about a future pt-time ministry career. She asked if I'd help her shape some worship ideas. That gave me some purpose and hope. Of course, I overdid it the very next day looking for some of the skits and children's moments she and I discussed.
Got to remember little steps are okay, and so are naps!
-------------------- 'Hope' is a thing with feathers, that perches in the soul-- Emily Dickinson Posts: 160 | From Indiana | Registered: Nov 2012
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lpkayak
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5230
posted
"Got to remember little steps are okay, and so are naps!"
exactly. when i stopped working i made immediate plans to volunteer. i want to go into the schools and read to kindergarteners and begin a lyme support group.
i thought these would be easy. they werent. even the first year i missed to lyme meetings due to health...and i never did get into the schools. too many issues with daily life.
eventually i found ways i could help at church functions and food bank. it feels good to give back something.
little steps and naps...i like it!
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
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