posted
Mama and Daddy were attending a Baptist church in Concord, N.H. and one Sunday the pastor got up and said,
“I’ve got the flu and I feel sick and because I don’t feel good, neither will some of you. I would like to know how some of you can pay rent, utilities, buy food, clothing and gas on $30 or $40 a week?”
Daddy said people were murmuring and looking at each other and the pastor like “What are you talking about?”
Pastor said, “No really! How do you make it on $30 a week? How can you afford to live on that?”
Again people are questioning amongst themselves and wondering if his fever had gotten the best of him. Then he said,
“How can I ask how you make it on $30 or $40 a week? Because you’re only putting in $3 or $4 in offering! That’s the tithe on $30 or $40! So how do you do it?!?!?”
Daddy, who faithfully tithed and gave above leaned over to Mama and said, “He ain’t talking about us!”
-------------------- I have a good time wherever I go! Posts: 665 | From Lost Wages, NV | Registered: May 2006
| IP: Logged |
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
| IP: Logged |
LisaK
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 41384
posted
I don't get it.... am I stupid??
-------------------- Be thankful in all things- even difficult times and sickness and trials - because there is something GOOD to be seen Posts: 3558 | From Eastern USA | Registered: Jul 2013
| IP: Logged |
posted
I guess he was averaging everyone's supposed incomes based on their tithes. If they're only giving 3 or 4 dollars a week, then they are only making 30-40 dollars a week (assuming they are tithing).
Obviously they weren't tithing.
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
| IP: Logged |
LisaK
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 41384
posted
oh, ok I got that. I thought I was missing something. that man at the end confused me- as to why he's say it wasn't him.
-------------------- Be thankful in all things- even difficult times and sickness and trials - because there is something GOOD to be seen Posts: 3558 | From Eastern USA | Registered: Jul 2013
| IP: Logged |
She was the one who told him (when they got married) he was going to tithe. Imagine that!
Another true story about giving: My pastor in Loo-zee-ana, was getting ready to start the offering and told us, "Just reach into your pocket, like I'm about to, and take out the first bill you feel and put that into the plate!"
He did just that. Unfortunately he had a $10 in one pocket (for the offering) and a $100 in the other. You can guess which one he pulled out!
He still put it into the plate!
-------------------- I have a good time wherever I go! Posts: 665 | From Lost Wages, NV | Registered: May 2006
| IP: Logged |
LisaK
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 41384
posted
that's funny... every time I tithe I think that same thing :just don't even look" I tell myself, but I dont' listen to myself. becasue we need money to live. but maybe I should start doing so and watch the blessings flow in!!??
-------------------- Be thankful in all things- even difficult times and sickness and trials - because there is something GOOD to be seen Posts: 3558 | From Eastern USA | Registered: Jul 2013
| IP: Logged |
posted
One Sunday as the lead Deacon was preparing to take up the offering, he noticed the town miser sitting in the back pew.
The deacon passed the plate and the miser looked at it and passed it on.
The deacon took the plate from the other end of the pew and presented it, again, to the miser.
Now the miser looked hard at the deacon and passed it again to the next person.
The deacon took the plate again and as he presented it to the miser he said, "If you ain't going to put any in, take some out. It's for heathens you know."
-------------------- I have a good time wherever I go! Posts: 665 | From Lost Wages, NV | Registered: May 2006
| IP: Logged |
hiker53
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 6046
posted
Tx--too funny about the heathens!!
-------------------- Hiker53
"God is light. In Him there is no darkness." 1John 1:5 Posts: 8880 | From Illinois | Registered: Aug 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Soooo, I’m pastoring in rural Idaho (let’s face it, most of Idaho is “rural”) in a cute, little, white church in a town of 300 people.
Before I got access to the net and learned “cut and paste” I would type out my verses. Sometimes . . .
I was quoting the verse where the Apostle Paul is talking about Deacons and their qualifications. The verse says the Deacon should not be given to much “wine”.
So there I stand in the pulpit proclaiming the Word and I read these words, “ . . . Deacon should not be given to much WIND . . .”
Our 80+ year old WWII Veteran Minn-e-soda Deacon says to his wife (in a stage whisper) “Yah chure, the Deacon should not be too windy.”
-------------------- I have a good time wherever I go! Posts: 665 | From Lost Wages, NV | Registered: May 2006
| IP: Logged |
The Lyme Disease Network is a non-profit organization funded by individual donations. If you would like to support the Network and the LymeNet system of Web services, please send your donations to:
The
Lyme Disease Network of New Jersey 907 Pebble Creek Court,
Pennington,
NJ08534USA http://www.lymenet.org/
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
![[lol]](graemlins/lol.gif)
![[bonk]](graemlins/bonk.gif)
Printer-friendly view of this topic