We cannot control what others are going to do, but does that mean we should not help them in their time of need?

The Gov's of these countries want cash. Lest we forget the food for oil scandal.

I think that it is perfectly acceptable for us to add strings, if the strings are that we demand to know where the money is going and how it is being used.

It is ok to make sure that the money goes to victims and not to Islamic forces around the world.

These Gov's do not care if they skim money off the top and leave their citizens without aid.

And I doubt any aid will change the mind of the wearer. What part of infidel dont we understand?

That is so true. I've seen it in less developed countries wehre I've worked, but it seemed less so in Indonesia than in Africa.

My comments above on giving are not about giving money to governments. I was thinking of personal giving to reputable charities that will translate that money into food, water, medicine, and shelter for the people.

As for the fellow in the objectionable T-shirt, there's a good chance he will bow to peer pressure and keep on the same path, but maybe not. I will still give from the heart with no expectations of the recipients.

A thank you is nice, but I dont expect it.

You never know what is going on in someone's life.

[This message has been edited by JillF (edited 10 January 2005).]

That was why I put up my post to thank all of my kids' santa's - felt wierd writing a thank you note to 'green santa' on an envelope.

But I want to thank the two of you for your efforts - I know how much the Green santa's did for my kids and I can't imagine how it would be to shop for someone especially having lyme.

And Jill, 3 kids, that's amazing. You are both very appreciated.

Unfortunately, because of this I probably won't be doing it again next year. I did it last year and this year, pretty much against my husbands wishes. He felt I was already doing too much for the holidays and didn't need to be adding another person to buy for, so this is just another reason for him to use for me not to do it. And to be honest, and this may sound awful, but it makes me really not want to do it again.

And AK, I know how much your green santa's appreciate your thanks! You are so sweet!!!

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest! I really felt bad that I was thinking this way, but glad I'm not the only one.
KB

I appreciate the appreciation. I was not a GS to your little sweeties, but I was touched that you and a couple of other parents came online to say thanks to the nameless Green Santas.

I'm glad your kids were well taken care of this year by caring lymies. You're a great mom to allow others to share in their joy.

Sue

I do understand how you feel and don't blame you at all - I can't imagine how someone can not thank you for being so wonderful to their precious children.

I know how incredibly grateful I was to have these amazing and special gifts from people my kids didn't even know - I couldn't imagine not thanking them.

Hopefully, some people are just late on their thank you notes - I know my Christmas cards just went out yesterday due to how sick I was at Christmas. (maybe?)

Also, please realize not everyone is taught that it is proper to send thank you notes.

And sometimes people just forget. Maybe they thought they sent a thank you note but didnt.

When you give to the salvation army person with the bell...do you expect a thank you?

If it bothered me that much (if I didnt get a thank you) then I am not sure I would give, because there is always that possibility.

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kara Tyson:
I am sure all of us have seen the angel tree at the mall. When you buy a gift for an angel...do you expect a thank you?

When you give to the salvation army person with the bell...do you expect a thank you?

If it bothered me that much (if I didnt get a thank you) then I am not sure I would give, because there is always that possibility.

Things get lost, people forget, heck...they might even be embarrased to have taken "charity".

---

Thank you Kara

He sings it about the kids - he and his sister have helped those kids - this has nothing to do with what you were talking about, just that Kara mentioned paper angels and I had never known they really existed.

I think its awesome!

quote:

---

Originally posted by Kara Tyson:
I am sure all of us have seen the angel tree at the mall. When you buy a gift for an angel...do you expect a thank you?[/QUOTE}

NO, and this is probably what I will do next year.

When you give to the salvation army person with the bell...do you expect a thank you?

---

NO, but you get one anyway! Every time I give they go out of their way to say thank you.

If it bothered me that much (if I didnt get a thank you) then I am not sure I would give, because there is always that possibility.[/QUOTE]

I did this without expecting a thank you. I didn't realize I would feel bad about not getting one. I hope that doesn't make me a rotten person, but unless you've been in this situation, you don't know how you would feel, so please don't judge. I'm not trying to pat myself on the back, but I give to as many charities as I can and don't expect a thank you, but this is a personal thing.

As far as I knew, it's "green" santa not "secret" santa. Maybe I got it wrong.

And AK, he's always mad about something anyway! (Just kidding, LOL.)

Almost everyone has been in the position of giving and not receiving a thank you.

And the Salvation Army doesnt always give a thank you. Many times there is just a bucket and no person.

There is no such thing as levels of giving. A drop in the bucket is just as personal as wrapping a present and sending it. And one quarter is just the same as giving $1000.

Either give willingly, honestly, and joyfully. Or just dont give. It is that simple.

But give people the benefit of the doubt.

Guess what I got yest. in the mail??

Someone elses Christmas present--the postal service had lost the package (sent early Dec) and not only did it arrive late--but to the wrong person!

The package was filled with what was supposed to be fresh pears--they werent. They were rotten and leaking out of the box.

i know many many people would feel the same as you do. i personally feel that giving 'in the spirit' does not keep score and wait to be thanked, rather do good and forget it.

i guess it depends on the giver's motives for giving. to help make a child's Christmas a little brighter? or to help them selves feel good? to be admired for their generosity perhaps?

many reasons are possible i suppose. i am not trying to scold, just to suggest that if your needs were not met by giving maybe you should not give. my bet is that you gave for reasons other than what you think you did... hmmmmm.

if your needs were not met by giving maybe you should not give.

my bet is that you gave for reasons other than what you think you did... hmmmmm."

dear sue,

evidently you read much more into my reply than is intended to be there.

i certainly didn't call you or anyone else a monster. i just presented my opinion of giving, that's all. i am sorry you were offended. maybe i would have been too, i don't know.

btw, i also have the opinion that it is nice to say thank you when someone does something nice for you, or your family. i don't think they're monsters for not thanking you, either...

quote:

---

Originally posted by Loribelle:
sorry disgruntled santas

---

my bet is that you gave for reasons other than what you think you did... hmmmmm.[/QUOTE]
Please don't take this the wrong way, but just what does that mean? Please explain.

I think what you all did was wonderful.

I know what it's like to have an entire family severely ill.

The financial devistation and the day to day is unbelievable, don't know how I got through 2002-2004. I really don't, and can't remember allot of it..

I'm lucky I remebered to pay my phone bill, or give the kids all their medcines. (no..wait..I didn't remember that all the time either) In fact, it isn't uncommon as a Lyme family to have lots of friends and relatives peeved at you for all the things you forgot to, just couldn't, or just didn't do..

I could not get it together this year or last to help with the Green Santa Project, and have never been a recipient, either..

But I do know how incredible the kids must have felt having a nice, "normal" Christmas day..especially for the "older" kids..who are plagued with not feeling normal even moreso than the littler ones.
..it must have been a wonderful day for them and I'll thank you for them. OK?

I have a strong feeling that they either have not gotten to yet, or have a good reason for having not done so..a very good reason I'd wager.

Anonimity is important to some, but also I know if anyone had sent to us last year, I'd just now be getting around to a long thank you note..a year later. And I'd be justified in my poor manners.

Then again, we are also talking about TBD's here...if serious mood and cognitive disorders are present, they may not realize how grateful they are at the moment!

Just remember..the degrees to which families are suffering we can't really know or judge. That's why you gave, right?

I think you all were incredibly wonderful and extremely caring to do this kind of personalized giving, and you should feel very, very good about it.

Mo

Thanks for your input Mo, but you don't have to explain to me what it's like to have lyme. Having lyme for 19 years, I know what it's like to suffer from it. Take everything you said about the effects of lyme, and add to it shopping for your own family and shopping, packing and mailing for a complete stranger and that would be MY situation.

And I'm not "judging" anyone. My gosh, why are we being made out to be horrible people??!!

And just FYI, As far as being able to function, I made something personal for this child and I had some questions for the mom. I e-mailed her through Barb a few times and she always managed to get back to Barb almost immediately with her input, so I guess where there's a will there's a way.

Once again, all I said was it would be NICE to have a thank you. I'm not mad at these people, I don't hate them, judge them, loathe them, dislike them, think they're bad people or wish then any ill will. Okay??!!

This whole thing has been made into so much more than it actually is. Why is every one so quick to put themselves in the recipients shoes and not the givers? Sorry I don't get it. You all don't know the whole situation, so don't be so quick to judge ME!

This year I did pick an Angel from the Angel Tree. I asked for a girl my daughter's age (7) and one that was asking for a modest toy. Hoping that her age would help me figure out what she would probably like.

I spent at least $100 on her and could have easily gone over board. It was fun. I look forward to us doing it again next year, if finances alow it.

I want my daughter's to know about the spirit of giving. It does make you feel warm inside.

I can't imagine how degraded these posts have made some feel. Sorry if I have offened but that is how I would feel.

Maybe these people have no stamps. Maybe they can't drive out to get any. Maybe it is like Mo said they had forgoten due to their lyme and if they had read this and remember, I surely would be less likely to send one out now.

I was a green Santa but never announced it at any time. Barb and a couple of friends over email were the only ones that knew I was a green Santa. I didn't want personal recognition or acknowledgement. I Didn't get a thank you until the other other day but it didn't bother me I was just happy knowing that I was able to help another family at Christmas. Christmas is about giving unconditionaly. Finatially we were strapped but I still felt my family was better of that some others so I did it because I wanted to help someone else.

Lets do drop this as to not further pursecute the recievers of these Green Santa's gifts.

I am sorry if I was ugly in any way but as this kept going on I can not help but think about the feelings of the people who swallow their pride and take part in this wonderful program that Barb has set up.

I knew what it was right away. I was so excited - it was almost as if it were a present I was waiting to open.

I got tears in my eyes when I read the card! All that I went through and all the money I spent was worth that one thank you card.

THAT'S ALL WE SAID! C'mon, give us a break! Show us the same understanding and charity you're showing to the recipients, with whom we were happy to share, AS WE SAID.

Can we let this go now?

And PU-LEEZE, no one degraded or persecuted any of the GS recipients. I think you're being a bit dramatic here.

May I suggest this?

To those of you who did not receive any type of a thank you, could you click on that person's nickname, and ask if they got your GS gift?

Did their child like what they received?

Hopefully, they will take 1 minute to respond to you and you will be reassured that it did arrive for their kids.

Betty G., I won't be back to read any followups.