AliG
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9734
posted
I may have a window of opportunity for educating my DD's school. She just told me this morning that one of her teachers had asked yesterday how long I've had Lyme disease. I sent in a little note with several brochures.
This is following a serious incident on the playground at school. My DD was bullied (actually more like terrorized by so-called "friends", though not really physically harmed), during recess. The school was totally unaware of what had transpired until the children recounted it and those involved admitted to what they'd done. (I'm thinking lack of adequate supervision?!!!) I don't want to post the specific details.
I don't know whether the problems these other children are having could have to do with parenting or if there is a possibility that playing in the wooded/grassy areas right around the vicinity of where I picked up my multiple TBDs may have led to these children becoming infected via these darned ticks.
I don't want to sound like a nut case to the school, but I DO believe that there is a SERIOUS tick problem in this area and think that they need to be made aware. I just don't know how to accomplish this.
My DD is a very sweet girl and very forgiving. She is very insistent that she wants to remain friends with these girls. If I try to encourage her to give these girls a "time out" from friendship when they treat her poorly and instead add some new friends she becomes very upset & tells me she doesn't want NEW friends.
I'm thinking that she may have some self-esteem issues. She puts herself down and accepts this from other kids (as "forgiving" and "understanding"). I don't believe that there is any reason for her to have low self-esteem or put herself down. Perhaps I need to explain that just because she forgives them and understands that it's their problem, doesn't mean she should be accepting or dismissing what they are saying.
She is a little bit heavier than these other girls, though she is NOT obese & they've called her "tubby". They've found out that some things frighten her & then have gone out of her way to scare her. These girls think it's OK to slap/punch/hit/kick/pinch others and when they do this to her, she doesn't do it back.
They try to encourage her to do things that would get her into trouble. With friends like them, she has no need for enemies. I teach her how friends should behave & she is a WONDERFUL friend to these undeserving, ill-behaved, mean girls.
I've always heard from her teachers, friend's parents & CCD teachers what a great kid she is, so I know it's not just because I'm her mother that I think so.
She is very intelligent and these other girls all have "basic skills" classes after school, so maybe jealousy motivates them to pick on her.??? I know one of them was very mad at her,last marking period, because she "always gets good report cards". Or perhaps Lyme may be interfering with their school performance & social interaction???
One of the things that REALLY gets to me is that ALL of these girls belong to our church parish! I'm pretty sure that their behavior IS not what the church is trying to teach as acceptable.
If I say "NO" and cut off her contact with them, when she still wants them for friends, I am in essence punishing her for being open with me. I need to get her more involved in other activities away from these girls so that she might form some healthier friendships.
If these girls are exhibiting "normal" behavior for 8-9 year old girls, then the school would think I'm making something out of nothing if I were to suggest they consider whether Lyme might be a possible factor with any of them.
I'm afraid that if I say/do the wrong thing, I'll end up having this backfire and, instead of "educating the educators", I'll have them somehow blaming ME for my daughter feeling too strong a need to keep these friends.
Anyone have any good successful diplomatic approaches that have actually worked to get some awareness going in their schools?
-------------------- Note: I'm NOT a medical professional. The information I share is from my own personal research and experience. Please do not construe anything I share as medical advice, which should only be obtained from a licensed medical practitioner. Posts: 4881 | From Middlesex County, NJ | Registered: Jul 2006
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bettyg
Unregistered
posted
wow, ali; that;s alot for your daughter to handle & you.
boy, too bad she FEELS these girls are her friends vs. for what they truly are: cruel, take advantage of what scares here, gets her in trouble, etc. her own WORST enemies disguised as friends.
you asked about the school, i can't remember if i've recently sent you this or not, but i'm going to send these 2 things in general for you for school:
1. my 2 lda brochures combined w/lots more of good info in there...lots pertaining to kids;
2. geneal's KIDS SYMPTOMS LIST she compiled
************************
CHILDREN'S LYME SYMPTOMS compiled by Geneal 6-07 From ``GENEAL'' June 2007
I have been doing some research regarding Lyme and signs/symptoms in small children.
I know many of you have small children that you may be concerned about. I believe my youngest child (4yrs old) may have gotten this disease from me.
For All Children
-dizziness -neck pain and stiffness in almost 90% -sore throats -swollen lymph nodes -excessive thirst, -Chest pains in at least 70%, some have palpatations -Sense of air hunger or shortness of breath, dry cough
-abdominal pain in about 50%, can mimic acute appendicitis -sometimes vomiting, heartburn -rashes that come and go, malar rashes, new psoriasis
-migratory arthralgias, joing pain in 50% to 100% -myalgias in over 80%, back ache, morning stiffness, pain at rest, muscle weakness
-frequent illnessses, dark circles under their eyes -intermittent red, hot pinnae of ears -sleep disturbance in over 80%
-Neurological symptoms are protean and can appear AT ANY TIME during the course of infection *hypersensitivity of skin, scalp and hair *Hypersensitivity to noise, light, smell *Alterations of taste *poor balance and coordination *Uncharacteristic behavior outbursts, mood disturbances, depression *social withdrawal *New onset phobias *Oppositional behaviors *Obsessive compulsive disorders *Deterioration in school performance in over 90% *Difficulty with concentration and attention in school with easily distractibility as well as "brain fog" in over 80% *New onset of ADD
*When measured with formal neuropsychiatric testing, children demonstrate defects in auditory and visual sequential processing
Less Commonly:
*Movement disorders-spaticity, ataxia, motor or vocal tics *Cranial neuropathies, e.g. Bell's Palsy or optic nerve neuritis *Peripheral neuropathies-numbness and tingling, distal parathesias, subtle weakness
Pre-Schoolers and toddlers
- Modd swings, sudden emotional outbursts - Irritabiity - Personality changes - Regression of motor and social skills (developmental milestones) - Changes in play behavior, tire easily, less active
- Trouble falling asleep, frequent awakenings - Nightmares, new phobias, recurrence of seperation anxiety - Diaper rash unresponsive to normal treatment - Frequent URI's, ear and throat infections, bronchitis, pneumonia
Congenital Lyme Disease
* Infants can be infected with Borrelia transpacentally in any stage of pregnancy and/or via mother's breast milk.
* The co-infections: Babesia, Bartonella, Mycoplasma and perhaps even the Ehrilichias can be transmitted transpacentally to the developing fetus.
* Gestational Borreliosis can be associated with repeated miscarriages, fetal death in utero, still births, hydrocephalus, cardiovascual anomalies,
intrauterine growth retardation, neonatal respiratory distress, and maternal toxemia of pregnancy.
* Infants either infected congenitally or from breast milk can have
- Floppiness with poor muscle tone - Irritability - Frequent fevers and illness early in life - Joint sensitivities and body pain - Skin sensitivity - Gastro esophageal reflux - Developmental delays -Learning disabilities and psychiatric problems
* Infants bitten very early in life will have many of the same symptoms - loss and decline in developmental milestones.
I found this to be a pretty inclusive list of signs/symptoms for small children, infants, and those suspected of congenital Lyme.
Sadly, my two children do exhibit many of these symptoms and both have positive bands for Lyme via Igenex diagnostic lab in PALO ALTO, CALIFORNIA. Geneal, 2007
Also, see Cheryl''s LYME INFO extensive web sites on: LD DIAGNOSIS, SYMPTOMS, & TREATMENT ... wonderful! Read the area on CO-INFECTIONS! You could have from 1-10 other illnesses that tick is carrying...lyme, malaria, etc.
If you are showing symptoms of co-infections, I would like to suggest being tested for co-infections when you have LYME western blots done. It isn't cheap!! But if you are positive, you can treat the co-infections first, and then work on LYME symptoms.
Pronunciation of common co-infections from lymetoo/tutu 12-13-07
Ba BEE' see oh sis (Babesiosis) or commonly known as Ba BEE' sza (Babesia) bart un EL a (Bartonella) er LICK' ee oh sis (ehrlichiosis
___Joint pain and stiffness (often both Left and Right sides as opposed to Lyme which is often on one side only with pain and stiffness that changes locations)
___Muscle pains especially the calves; may be twitching and cramping also
___Foot pain, more in the morning involving the heels or soles of the feet (sometimes misdiagnosed as plantar fasciitis)
___Nerve irritation symptoms which can be described as burning, vibrating, numb, shooting, etc.
___Tremors and/or muscle twitching
___Heart palpitations and strange chest pains
___Episodes of breathlessness
___Strange rashes recurring on the body often, red stretch marks, and peculiar tender lumps and nodules along the sides of the legs or arms, spider veins
___Gastrointestinal symptoms, abdominal pain and acid reflux
___Shin bone pain and tenderness
Bartonella is a bacterium that causes illness, the most commonly known of which is a disease called "Cat Scratch Fever."
Thousands of known cases of Bartonella occur in the U.S. each Year, with the vast majority of known cases due to bites from fleas that infest cats or infected dogs (may also occur directly from bites and scratches from infected dogs or cats).
Bartonella can also be transmitted by ticks that transmit Lyme Disease.
In fact, in a study published recently, deer ticks from New Jersey had a higher prevalence of Bartonella organisms than of Lyme organisms.
It is unclear whether the organism that we see transmitted along with Lyme disease is actually a Bartonella species (such as B. henselae or B. quintana) or is "Bartonella-Like Organism" (BLO) that is yet to be fully identified.
While BLO has features similar to organisms in the Bartonella family, it also has features slimiar to the Mycoplasma and the Francisella (causes tularemia) families.
ali, i just copied this for someone else, and it's more than i promised but there are some things that may help too!! ******************
Betty G's LYME/TICK BROCHURE with 2 LDA brochures combined together plus other stuff from Betty including:
lyme books, support groups, lyme/co-infection illnesses, symptoms, diagnosis, treatments, hunting/gardening ... how to dress; how to remove ticks, etc.
prints out to 9 pages 2 columns per page!
i also used on page 10 the front/back side of TICK CARD that lda has!! very helpful!
Dekrator48
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 18239
posted
As far as the girls and bullying, it may help your daughter to roleplay different situations with you so she can see how you would handle any more threats/namecalling, etc.
As terrible as it is, it is very common behavior for kids to be cruel to other kids.
She may have more confidence to handle whatever comes up with these girls if she feels more prepared.
-------------------- The fibromyalgia I've had for 32 years was an undiagnosed Lyme symptom.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11 Posts: 6076 | From Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
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And all mothers of girls. Read the book, "Queen Bees and Wanna Bees" this book is excellent in explaining the girl world.
The girls start establishing a hiarchy at young ages. Each position picked in the hiarchy in turn can cause your daughter to have different issues. Some even as strong as saying, "girls whow accept this behavior in school are more likely to be abused by boys in their latter relationships.
It also helps the moms help the daughters how to deal with it. It is a GREAT book and I recommend it to all moms!!
Shalome
Posts: 893 | From Florida | Registered: Dec 2008
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Your situation is specifically addressed. I say read the book because I just can not relay all the good information in there.
Shalome
Posts: 893 | From Florida | Registered: Dec 2008
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bettyg
Unregistered
posted
wow, kathy; good rebuttal/informative, suggestions galore!! thx for taking the time to write from your personal experiences to help other parents and KIDS! xox
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bettyg
Unregistered
posted
kathy,
may i suggest to you to start a post yourself dealing with this issue SUPPORT, and then copy your link to TREEPATROL'S NEWBIE ARCHIVE so others can be helped by your most useful comments. xox
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bettyg
Unregistered
posted
kathy,
when i see good info that will be helpful to others, i hate seeing it be a 1-time thing where many more could be made aware of it and helpful suggestions.
that's why TREEPATROL'S HUGE ARCHIVE is outstanding so it goes there, and people can find it eventually.
his post also has exceeded lymenet's maximum capacity so he can NOT add to it and it be updated. but NEW REPLIES can have valuable info in them, and people just need to take the time to read/skim thru to find articles pertaining to THEIR PROBLEM area !!
a win-win situation for all!
my newbie package links had to be totally deleted since it MAXED OUT, and i couldn't delete several items that needed to be removed; so it all had to go unfortunately for the users here.
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AliG
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9734
posted
Thank you all for your thoughtful suggestions.
Every time I think about this I feel like I want to vomit.
I can't stand to think about people being cruel to one another, let alone little girls. It breaks my heart to think that you are speaking from experience. I'm so sorry that you know what this feels like.
I had posted this in Activism because I was looking for a way to use this incident to address what I believe seems to be great unawareness in our school system. I thought I'd find some resources with cited references or school education materials that I could use.
It never occurred to me to look for support in handling the actual bullying situation. I was deeply touched that you would all reach out to help me deal with this situation. You all have such wonderful advice.
In thinking about this, I guess I really didn't want to believe that at SUCH a young age girls could be so mean and devious without there being a medical excuse. After reading your posts, I realize that Lyme disease may have absolutely nothing to do with this.
That might be just wishful thinking on my part, somehow hoping that these girls could be cured of their anger management problems with antibiotics.
Betty- Thanks for all of the links & info. It made my head spin, trying to read it all. Thanks also for keeping up with the thread for me.
I'm so sorry to take so long to get back to posting. I just kept getting too upset thinking about this whole thing.
Dekrater, CathyMary & Grandmother- Thank you for your valuable input & suggestions.
Need Lots- Thank you so much for the book idea. It sounds like something I should definitely check out to arm myself for what may be to come.
Kathy- Thank you so much for your incredibly thorough and insightful post. It is really wonderful to have such detailed perspective and direction at a time when my head is swimming with disgust.
As my calls to her teacher and guidance counselor went unreturned last week, when the girls were verbally picking on her about her weight AGAIN in retaliation for her having told two classmates about them having been punished for what they had done, I am heeding your advice to put this all in writing.
I do also believe that it would be best if none of these girls were placed in class together next year and request that as well. Even though that alone would not remedy the problem, it might make it easier to determine if one is actually responsible for instigating the abusive behavior in other girls.
If it were to continue next year, the "Queen Bee" would likely find new drones and draw the attention she should be getting from the educators.
I am also going ask what they intend to do to prevent something like this from ever happening again to any child entrusted to their care. This is disgraceful! I still can't believe that something like this was able to be executed in a supposedly "supervised" environment.
Are school ratings so important that education has become totally focused on test scores and the emotional wellbeing, social development and safety of our children is being sacrificed? I sincerely hope not, but the fact that an incident like this has occurred does make me wonder where these children are being shortchanged.
Thank you all again for your support and perspective!
[ 05-26-2009, 11:58 AM: Message edited by: AliG ]
-------------------- Note: I'm NOT a medical professional. The information I share is from my own personal research and experience. Please do not construe anything I share as medical advice, which should only be obtained from a licensed medical practitioner. Posts: 4881 | From Middlesex County, NJ | Registered: Jul 2006
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