LymeNet Flash: If you ever think of suicide!

This is topic If you ever think of suicide! in forum Medical Questions at LymeNet Flash.

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Posted by BostonLyme2005 (Member # 7680) on :

If I reach for your hand
Will you extend it to me?

If I embrace your body
Will you reflect the warmth?

If I catch your fallen tears
Shall I return them to you?

If I speak to your suffering heart
Can I expect a response?

If I could lift the mountains
Would you run under them?

If I could give my life to save yours
Would you ask me to die?

If I offered to cry with you
Would you turn me away?

If I showed you the path to God
Would you say I dont have time for him?

If I showed you the Devil
Would you make time for God?

If I bleed my life for you
Will you be grateful?

If I enter as a friend
Will you cast me out, an enemy?

If I could soften your sorrow
Would you harden your heart?

If I take from you your pain
Will you ask for it back?

If I offer you a kiss
Will I join cold lips?

If I could speak for you
Would you have me remain silent?

If I loved you endlessly
Would you say that is not sufficient?

If I could show you greater pain in others
Would you turn and feel worse for yourself?

If I were to promise hope
Would you feel hopeless?

If I cured you from your curse
Would you then curse me?

If I bore witness to your death
Would you ask me to forever morn?

If I opened a window to heaven
Would you close it before the angels entered?

If I were to bathe your body
Would you feel dirty anyway?

If I could bring you a laugh of joy
Would you elect to cry in sorrow?

If I were!
Would you?

Posted by tothepoorhouse (Member # 8595) on :

Rob..the answer is a good no on some and yes to the good answers on your questions. [Smile]

While we all feel bad, taking the final end is not the answer. It will come soon enough naturally. Tomorrow could be better if we think outward, rather than inward.

Inward is a condition we all seem to fall into......we have to look outward, right?

I thought about all of this lyme stuff today, after I saw that I might have been bitten again.

Ok, so what do I do? Panic, cry, scream?

I actually decided that this week, I will attempt to do one thing I used to do and do it again! Even just a walk, either in the sunshine or the rain.

We need to TRY to break out of this life that encapsulates us. We don't get points for giving in. We win by doing something* to show ourselves we are still "me".

I hope this helps. I actually just made plans with my husband to go to the local planetarium this week...I could hope I'm ok enough to do it but what is the alternative? Sit here and worry about my circumstance?

I say no.......I can sit in a theater in the dark and look at the stars and planets. [Smile]

I'll likely sleep later the next day but I'm good with that. I would have slept late the next day anyway.

WE WILL SURVIVE AND LIVE TO THE BEST OF OUR ABILITY PLUS ONE STEP FURTHER THAN WE THOUGHT WE COULD TODAY. [group hug]

Posted by Cobweb (Member # 10053) on :

BostonLyme- I loved your poem-thanks, very thought provoking. Interesting. As deep as lyme!

I could also identify with a lot of what you talked about Poorhouse ,too.

Thank you both .
Carol

Posted by Michelle M (Member # 7200) on :

Evocative stuff, Rob!

Michelle

Posted by shutterbug (Member # 10333) on :

Yes, I do think of suicide on on a daily basis, only reason I don't is bacause it would kill my mother. And a few other family members. And my 3 year old needs me.

If it were just for me, I'd do it, I don't want to be here just to hurt 24/7. I'm tired. I can't even clean up my house. My favorite passtime is quilting, which I have a hard time doing since my fingers are so swollen and hurt like they are on fire.

But I have bought some cheater quilt panels that I don't have to piece, I can just quilt them, so at least I get to play on my sewing machine some, haha!

Guess I'm just having depression promlems but they are here to stay, have been here for soo long. I am already on a ton of depression meds, don't need any more.

Only thing that will fix me is a cure, and I am working on that. Just got a precription for bicillion LA. I have taken my first shot. Wow it is a huge needle! Made my hip sore as heck. I had no trouble giving myself the shot.

I only wish I could find a cheaper source to buy the Bicillin LA. I cost $652.10 at CVS drugstore. My husband picked it up for me.

My husband seemed really mad about the cost of the bicillin. I have no insurance that will pay for it. That makes me feel really guilty about having to take the shots. Stress as always.

Does anyone know of an organization that helps people get medications like bicillin? I won't be able to stay on it but for a few months at this rate. [dizzy]