I find myslef doing this more and more, up and down all day here and there, lifting laptops and taking stairs.
I put on a smile so they dont stare. I allready went the route of self pity with writing a letter to me boss while I was on probation. It went over like a lead ballon.
Now a days I just "fake" being healthy.
Posted by lymeHerx001 (Member # 6215) on :
It doesnt help that Im in the tri-state area where everybody is competative and survival of the fittest reigns supreme.
Posted by seekhelp (Member # 15067) on :
I wish I could fake it and be at that health level. I can't function period. Posted by lymeHerx001 (Member # 6215) on :
Thats what I used to think and then I really had to push myself. I realized I can more, alleit in pain.
Dont know why I still pay for a gym membership when I cant work out.
Posted by seekhelp (Member # 15067) on :
Yeah, part of me gets sad because I used to go to Ballys. My membership expired 9+ months ago and I get sent reinstatement offers that are so incredibly priced. I always think I should sign up and then reality smacks me in the face and says how can you even go idiot. lol. Someday I hope I can again.
I'm glad you are able to function. As many say here, it's important for self-esteem and money. I think I could beat pain or tolerate. It's the endless neuro feelings that make life impossible to go through (dizziness, head pressure, lightheadedness, hot flashes, chills, and much more). I have a high-intensity job where being @ 25% will not get me through. Faking won't work. They expect results).
Posted by lymeHerx001 (Member # 6215) on :
Its funny you mention, because I think of myself having little self esteem and little money.
I work for a school and Im basically working for insurance and medication.
I know a thing or too about dizzyness, I have been chronically dizzy now for 6 years. Its not fun.
Went to Yale and they did all these tests. Came back normal and they gave me a saline spray. Said I could have migrane associated vertigo.
What I need to do is buy some more shovels for all the donkey crap that comes out of their mouths.
Posted by LymieLaura (Member # 19367) on :
I know how you feel I fake it everyday!
I even made up a blatant lie as to why I had to cut my hours. I work in a restaurant and it's just becoming too much for me, so I had them heavily cut my hours and I told them it was because I was doing an internship on the side.
My best friend, who tries to be supportive, but just doesn't really get it, couldn't understand why I lied. "Why don't you just tell them that you're sick" he asked?
I don't tell them because I know I look normal, and I know how people look at me when I say I'm sick. They look at me like I'm pretending, or lying. They look at me like I'm lazy and just don't want to do the job. So I don't even bother trying to let people know what's really going on anymore, because people just don't get this disease.
It's sad that I've had to resort to lies, but that's what happens when there's such ignorance surrounding this disease.
Posted by steve1906 (Member # 16206) on :
Good one: I never seen this question asked!!!
I've been able to keep my job but I do pretend to be healthy everyday.
When my big problems all started around 15 months ago I tried talking to people about it at work ``well'' AS WE ALL KNOW NO ONE Believed ME).
It's just part of having lyme; I think we all pretend each and everyday at some level so people don't feel sorry for US...
Good question herx001>
Take care, Roy from Boston, MA
Posted by Need Lots of Help (Member # 18603) on :
I used to try to hide it. Everyone thought I was so funny and a happy go lucky person who had problems, but was so strong she could overcome anything.
Then, I just couldn't do it anymore, and of course no one believed me. I am now home on disabiliy and I am having to fight for it because, I look ok.
UGH!
Shalome
Posted by lymeHerx001 (Member # 6215) on :
You know what they say.....................
fake it till you make it,
I dont know exactlly what we are making but we do try, dont we.
Posted by Beverly (Member # 1271) on :
Yep, I fake being healthy all the time. My boss knows I have lyme as my daughter got me the job, so she kinda knows when I am having a bad day. It's still hard tho my co-workers do not know.
I hide stuff all the time to get through it. And I did have to cut my hours, there is no way I could work a 40 hour week; job is way too stressful.
I am better now tho compared to when I first started my treatment or prior to starting treatment. Ambien and pain meds do help me to function at some level.
Posted by Elizabeth Erin (Member # 13866) on :
I fake it all day long......I work 40 hours....if I even say I don't feel well, I get made fun of and told to suck it up!
Posted by soleil16 (Member # 16326) on :
Everyone at work now knows I have Lyme. That's only 4 others... but I told them, especially since I have to miss a whole day for each LLMD appointment.
I tried to hide it at first, but they could tell... I didn't join their running club, can't eat certain things when we go out to lunch... it was just getting obvious that something is wrong with me!
At my last job they kept thinking I was pregnant, but after months and months and no baby... lol.
I just try to stay positive. They can all tell when I feel worse than other times and are sympathetic. Their expectations of me are still the same, but since this is such a huge part of my life, I'm not going to hide it entirely for 8 hours every day.
Posted by lymeHerx001 (Member # 6215) on :
quote:Originally posted by Elizabeth Erin: I fake it all day long......I work 40 hours....if I even say I don't feel well, I get made fun of and told to suck it up!
Thats new york for ya!
Its times like these that we wish we had cancer just for the respect.
Posted by steve1906 (Member # 16206) on :
Elizabeth... I laughed when I read your reply.
I fake it all day long...Would you like to tell us what line of work or in!!!
LOL - I'm just kidding; but you did put a smile on my face, THANKS,
Roy Posted by Elizabeth Erin (Member # 13866) on :
I could fall over in this place and they would walk over me, I am not kidding!!!! It's a sin!
Posted by steven (Member # 13101) on :
i also pretend to be healthy at work. i even go to the toilet when i have to take my pills. being seriously sick is too intimate. i dont want my colleges to know.
Posted by mookiewill (Member # 14743) on :
I have an online business and I have been faking it for almost 2 years. I would close my store everytime I started a new abx. I try to keep it going, one day at a time. Flagyl and CSM really take me down a few notches. I can't walk very well, type with one finger, hold the phone with both hands. Good times!
I'm an engineer for the state. I used to do more work than 90% of the people there. It used to make me sick that some people did nothing all day and abused the system, now I thank god I'm not in the private world.
I got sick 9 months ago and even though I want to work I sit there and zone. I do about a fifth of what I used to do. It gets done, but slowly. Luckily I have a job where I can get away with it for now.
I've told everyone at work about this and I think 70% of them think I've gone nuts. I could care less.
The pain isn't what hinders my job, it's the brain fog. I feel like I have a hangover every damn day.
I've decided if becoming a ghost is possible I'm going to haunt the IDSA. Wormser better hope I don't go before him.
Posted by bettyg (Member # 6147) on :
herx, are you a teacher?
john, i too am a former state employee; was one for 30 yrs. 7 months until my health got so bad 10 yrs. ago ...I QUIT with NO BENEFITS because i was only 49 and you had to be 55 to RETIRE W/BENEFITS.
hubby RETIRED 1 yr. prior to me so as a spouse i was COVERED BY BCBS! yippee on meds, etc., but not on lyme disease.
i was on of th top sick leave users in my division for many years due to 10 plus major surgeries, etc. while this was going on.
Posted by steve1906 (Member # 16206) on :
Hey John S....
you said> I've decided if becoming a ghost is possible I'm going to haunt the IDSA. Wormser better hope I don't go before him.
I'm ready John; lets go get them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Roy
Posted by soonermom (Member # 14494) on :
I started a new job a couple months before becoming sick, so...ya know.
I've been working there for almost 2 years now and was diagnosed about a year ago. They think I should have been "cured" about 10 months back.
I am currently off of abx due to elevated liver enzymes and it is really taking all this to a new level. I honestly don't know how I will make it the 6 more weeks until my next blood test.
I guess we all "fake it" so we aren't labeled NUTTY. I know I don't look sick but the muscles in my body are aching every day now(mostly back, arms & neck). I wake up in pain and go to bed in pain. There are of course many more sx.
Yeah, the gym is a distant memory. I am happy to make through each day at work and go home and hibernate in my bath tub.
Posted by Lymeorsomething (Member # 16359) on :
I've been doing that a good two years now. Remarkably, I've probably missed less work than most of my co-workers but it has taken its toll.
Of course, there isn't much alternative. I could work and have insurance or rest and have no means to fight the infections...
Posted by sixgoofykids (Member # 11141) on :
If you are healthy enough to pretend, you are blessed. When I was sick, I couldn't even pretend to walk by myself. I looked sick because I needed help just to walk.
It would be very difficult for anyone who is sick, at whatever level, to pretend day after day. Hang in there, and work on getting well. Posted by Elizabeth Erin (Member # 13866) on :
Perfectly said!!!!
I pretend nothing is wrong at all, when there is! As I said earlier, I am know as the anxiety ridden mess at my job. So I keep it to myself no matter how I feel. The president of my company actually mentioned medical costs in a metting, and the whole room turned an looked at me. I don't care, if they only KNEW what this was like....they would poke their eye out Posted by disturbedme (Member # 12346) on :
I don't know how some of you do it. I can't. I had to resign from my job and was so sad to have had to. I just couldn't handle the dizziness, lightheaded and wooziness, feeling like a zombie, feeling like I might lose consciousness at any time, and any other number of crazy symptoms that decide to plague me on a certain day.
Posted by Elizabeth Erin (Member # 13866) on :
I ask myself the same question everyday....
I drive to work 35-40 min each day with the feeling of doom!!! I hope to continue to work, if I stayed home & thought about it all day....I would lose my mind.
I have a daughter, she is 9, she keeps me going. The ridicule that I go through at work is so sad. If I passed out from a seizure (which I was dx w/ also) I have this horrible fear that they wouldn't help me.
Posted by lifewithlyme (Member # 4557) on :
Someone just asked me the same thing today; how i do it...luckily i work for the feds so my job isn't too demanding (not to say other federal jobs arent, but you catch my drift)...near impossible to hide the pain and the ice bag on my back/neck though. sometimes i don't know how i do it; just do.
Posted by Elizabeth Erin (Member # 13866) on :
My job is veery stressfull and crazy!!!!
Especially in the summer, and heaven forbid you asked for a day off.
I either rub icy-hot on all day, or sit on a heating pad. They make fun, who cares...
I love when they ask me...."How did you get "LYMES" lol disease....I just look at them and laugh to myself... Just keep our heads up....
Posted by lymeHerx001 (Member # 6215) on :
wow I never realized the big lie we are all caught in!
Its amazing.
Posted by lymeHerx001 (Member # 6215) on :
quote:Originally posted by John S: I'm an engineer for the state. I used to do more work than 90% of the people there. It used to make me sick that some people did nothing all day and abused the system, now I thank god I'm not in the private world.
I got sick 9 months ago and even though I want to work I sit there and zone. I do about a fifth of what I used to do. It gets done, but slowly. Luckily I have a job where I can get away with it for now.
I've told everyone at work about this and I think 70% of them think I've gone nuts. I could care less.
The pain isn't what hinders my job, it's the brain fog. I feel like I have a hangover every damn day.
I've decided if becoming a ghost is possible I'm going to haunt the IDSA. Wormser better hope I don't go before him.
\
John I have the brain fog every day too! Except I got sick at 13 and only had some clear days taking overseas memory drugs. Now EVERY DAY IS LIKE THAT>
You are right, the pain is one thing, but the fog takes away your life. You feel like a ghost. Absolute worst.
I think Im good for an hour after I have my morning coffee and then the fog creeps back in .
Posted by steve1906 (Member # 16206) on :
It is amazing!!! this is the year 2009 and they can't even fix Lyme!!!
Posted by Robin123 (Member # 9197) on :
I recall I tried to hide the pain when I had all those jobs. Finally, they ended it for me, asking me to take a leave of absence to "get better", but of course I didn't.
When people can understand, and we can tell them, it's a beautiful thing, but in general, I still find too much ignorance about this condition.
Posted by abigail (Member # 14936) on :
I work as a transcriptionist in a rheumatology office. There are 3 doctors there. I have to drive 7 hours to see my doctor. My boss's husband died of multiple schlerosis. It is amazing what these insurance companies have done out of greed. I think the word is murder.
Posted by JaimieB (Member # 19076) on :
Everyone at my office knows my situation. Although they know, they cannot relate. I function as much as I can. Yes, I do put on a smiley face at times when I really feel like crying and hiding under my desk.
My boss said he would do anything to help me out though and if that meant typing a letter for disabilty, he would. However, I cannot just live on disabilty and I think they would deny me because I can walk and talk. I just cannot freaking think amoung other things.
Posted by LisaS (Member # 10581) on :
I faked it for a long time. Then it got so bad I was really messing up at my job. I started to complain about my symptoms and could tell that it annoyed everyone. Eventually I started having fainting spells at work and I just had to stop. It is so hard to act like you well when youre not. And I think this is the only disease where you have to. Other diseases get sympathy!
Posted by Elizabeth Erin (Member # 13866) on :
If we had Cancer or HIV or something else, people would care!
Posted by tickssuck (Member # 15388) on :
Yep...I'm a daily fake job too, mind you, I work only half time. When I first got sick I wasn't working and there would have been no way, my functioning was severely impaired.
Now I can fake it. The really crazy thing is...I can also trail run with some running buddies...but, my neuro symptoms are still way out of control; but the balance at this point isn't so bad I can't run (it used to be difficult to even walk).
Anyway...my LLND is now discussing IV as my response to 13 months on orals hasn't been that great. I can't help but worry what others will think; I mean I actually "look" really healthy, I have the body of an athlete but the nervous system of a crack addict - which nobody can see, go figure. TS
Posted by Vermont_Lymie (Member # 9780) on :
Yes, that is what I have to do. I learned the hard way not to mention lyme to superiors at work.
Spoke to a sympathetic boss last year, and turned out that his wife and brother are ID doctors!!! So needless to say, this did not go well for me.
TS, lol! "I have the body of an athlete but the nervous system of a crack addict"
Posted by sonee123 (Member # 18632) on :
I am trying SO SO SO SO hard to keep my job. To keep going.....to keep working to keep my mind from going mental....it's hard!!! So hard when you have no money and all these bills. When you just want to go home and rest because your so sick, but you can't because you've missed too many days at work.
It's hard
All i know is there is a reason why we all are suffering right now.....I hope this pain will give us some justice in the near future.
Posted by bettyg (Member # 6147) on :
i really feel for all of you above! those of you on single income with children at home... Posted by ThatColorGreen (Member # 16016) on :
...maybe we should just tell everyone that we have a rare cancer that causes (insert lyme symptoms here).
I faked it for the 6 years it took me to graduate from college. the last year i swear nearly killed me.
i was able to fake three interviews to professional schools and gained acceptance to all three. Take that spirochetes!! I mean **cough cough** rare cancer that's difficult to treat.
Posted by Robin123 (Member # 9197) on :
That's funny, Green! My rare cancer has spread to my joints this week, it was in my lungs last week, and you know,
I feel like it's gonna move north to me noggin the following week, but only for seven days until it settles down in my big toe once again.
I try to irradiate it each time it goes somewhere else with natural solar radiation. See, I'm into living green. Seems to work - it moves on to a new area each time.
I like the sound of this explanation. It's so...je ne sais quoi...flexible...I've got the rare Gumby cancer, you know...
Posted by lymephobic (Member # 17556) on :
I am a pre-school teacher...no need to tell you about my daily stresses...LOL
I have to admit that everyone of my co-workers know that I have Lyme and some of the parents. We are like a family at this school and wouldn't know what to do if I couldn't share this with them. In this respect I am very lucky.
I do still believe that they are all in the dark about this disease though. I try to educate as much as possible, but I know they just don't get it.
I am also not as bad as most. After reading some of your stories I am extremely lucky to be functional for the most part.
I was just recently asking my co-workers if they would like to walk with me or donate for the Spotlight on Lyme walk and when a few asked me how I was feeling I broke down and cried.
As much as I have shared with them, I did hide all the pain I felt and the neuro stuff that I went through in the begining. When I first started treating I was an all around mess and I guess I hid that quite well because the responded with "we had no idea how bad you were"
We also joke alot about our afflictions (one other person I work with has had a pos WB and believes that she is ok, but I keep telling her she is not) because we all have something going on and that helps me cope without losing sight of the severity of this disease.
I am much better now and hope that each day I just get better and better and bring more and more awareness to my co-workers, friends and family.
Posted by Gerifrog (Member # 17990) on :
I've been out of work since Aug 08, I work at an answering service. I desperately need to go back. Short term disability has ended and we need my income.
You can't answer phones if you can't stop stuttering, find the right words or comprehend what someone has said to you (brain fog).
My speech isn't so bad now but my workplace isn't accessible and I'm in a wheelchair because my balance is so poor. We merged with a larger service & moved from 10 min away to 45 min just before I got sick. That's too far for me to get a ride.
I'm about to ask the owner to put a remote unit in my home. They did it for another employee when we merged & she took it to Florida when she moved. She wasn't disabled, just didn't drive.
It's expensive and I'm afraid he'll say no. I've been at the job for 10 years, worked during cancer treatment, filled in when needed (12-16 hr shifts), stayed during snowstorms when others wouldn't come in. Did a lot of stuff on my own time to make it easier for trainees. Let's see how my loyalty gets rewarded.
Wish me good luck folks, I'm going to need it.
Posted by Gerifrog (Member # 17990) on :
Oh yeah, I'm not telling them I have constant pain in my joints, headaches and days when I can't see straight. I need to work.
Posted by Wonko (Member # 18318) on :
I faked it for several months through worsening symptoms. But after my PCP blindly gave me steroids (before I figured out this was Lyme!), I got too sick to even fake it.
Around the time I first saw my LLMD, it was suggested at work that I take a leave of absence.
But I knew my treatment would take much longer than I could afford to go without income/insurance, so I compromised and managed to get approval to go part time.
Most ppl at work know I am sick, but not the details. I told the other people with my same title that I was reducing my hours indefinitely due to health. I didn't want them to think I was just totally lazy/disinterested.
I relate to how John S describes it. Lots of days, I stare at my monitor and just try to hold back the urge to cry and/or put my head down, because I am too foggy and in too much discomfort to concentrate.
I've noticed that if I have more engaging work with other people, I can fake it. But most (99%) of the time, I work independently. That makes it really tough to not zone out or get distracted by all of the weird symptoms.
Posted by lymeHerx001 (Member # 6215) on :
gerifrog thats terrible! But I know me saying that doesnt really make anything much better.
Posted by lymeHerx001 (Member # 6215) on :
this brings up a whole diffent issue of self esteem for me.
I have in my record a letter that I typed to my boss to try and justify why my performance was so poor. In it I stated all my symptoms
back pain vertigo chemical sensitvity mold sensitivity muscle pain leg pain dizzyness fatigue brain fog memory problems anxiety.
now Im thinking that If I go for another job and they ask to see my record they will hold this against me.
I just cant see working my way toward $10,000 in debt,
It makes me sick! I need to find a free counselor because paying for one bothers me too!
Posted by Gerifrog (Member # 17990) on :
Basically, we can't win.
I was told to file for disability. I can't afford my meds NOW. We need my income. I can't wait years, through all the appeals, in the hope SSD will be approved.
Since the "powers that be" don't consider chronic Lyme to exist it's a losing battle. I am very down right now.
Sadly, Gerifrog
Posted by lymeHerx001 (Member # 6215) on :
Yea, thats why I started this thread. We best "suck it up" and pretend rather then tell everybody the TRUTH.
Its like when people see you in public or at the work space, "Hi John, how are you?" and what do you respond with "well do you really want to know?"
NO~! We all say "good and you?"
Its like a question that is really just a greeting. People dont have the time or energy or capacity to really understand or appreciate how things are going in our lives.
How the world would be a different place if people actually spoke whats on their minds.
We are a country of LIARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And we lie and lie and lie to different people for different reasons and they are all justified lies depending on who you talk too.
We can never ever ever ever ever tell an employer that we are sick, especially if we are going for a new job.
WE LIE and tell them everything is copacetic.
Posted by soonermom (Member # 14494) on :
I guess I feel like a failure that I am not able to "convince" my GP or coworkers about chronic lyme.
I gave up a while back and just prefer not to discuss it because the is no understanding and very little sympathy.
It makes me feel like a coward, but I just don't have the extra energy to keep beating a dead horse.
Posted by randibear (Member # 11290) on :
i agree with everyone. i faked it the last couple of years and cried coming and going to work.
they thought i was a chronic whiner. i lived for the day i got my 30 years in and two days later, i said adios, i'm outtie...
i got to where i just sat there and didn't even bother to be nice to them...
thank the heavens, i made it and got my retirement...
Posted by Gerifrog (Member # 17990) on :
Randibear, You WON a battle!! I know it doesn't seem like much compared to the Lyme war in your body but we need to feel good about any victory.
Sticking it out till retirement is a great accomplishment. Be proud of yourself.
I bet it took a lot of strength and energy just to go in every day. Who cares what former coworkers thought, if they were friends they'd have been supportive.
I haven't even been able to return to work yet. And now it's being postponed again.
Congratulations on your retirement, Gerifrog
Posted by mazou (Member # 15319) on :
Yes, I have faked it to keep almost everything in my life!
I'm a big faker. Honestly.
Randi, I am like you, I used to cry to and from the office every day!
I work at home now, so if I am stuck staring at the monitor (JohnS), I can hide it. However, it takes me three times longer to do a task than it should. I end up making less than minimum wage by the time I figure out my hours.
I do find people are sympathetic when they find out, but I feel the need to push through as if everything is fine. Sympathy only lasts so long before people feel bitter and put upon. At least that is my experience, so I don't even bother seeking it out. Even from loved ones.
You are definitely not alone. Wishing you better days.
Posted by radfaraf (Member # 11909) on :
So what do I tell my employer when I get in the position that I need to take medical leave or work out reduced hours ? I don't want it to come back and bite me.
Posted by orrn (Member # 6672) on :
I am in the same boat, or was anyway. I was just fired from a job I had been at for over 11 years. I had FMLA and was fired anyway. I filed a complaint with the Federal Wage and Hour and the company I had worked for lied and it was "my word against theirs". At least that is what my investigator said. So why do they have anyone investigate then if they can just lie and get away with it. Now I am without an income and without health insurance. I am a single mother and I used to feel very blessed that I was still able to work. Now everything is a mess. I am now unable to afford my meds(not just Lyme meds). I am not sure what to do next. Cry some more I guess...... Take care all! I know it could be worse, but I have just had a rough last couple of months.
orrn
Posted by orrn (Member # 6672) on :
I am in the same boat, or was anyway. I was just fired from a job I had been at for over 11 years.
I had FMLA and was fired anyway. I filed a complaint with the Federal Wage and Hour and the
company I had worked for lied and it was "my word against theirs". At least that is what my investigator said.
So why do they have anyone investigate then if they can just lie and get away with it.
Now I am without an income and without health insurance. I am a single mother and I used to feel very blessed that I was still able to work.
Now everything is a mess. I am now unable to afford my meds(not just Lyme meds). I am not sure what to do next. Cry some more I guess......
Before this I was a faker I guess. Everyone knew, but had NO IDEA.....if that makes any sense?
Take care all! I know it could be worse, but I have just had a rough last couple of months.
It is so hard knowing my daughter is getting sicker, because I cannot afford her meds(she has LD too).
orrn
Posted by radfaraf (Member # 11909) on :
orrn: Did you have a doctor document for you employeer that you really needed a medical leave?
I think that would really help for people in this situation, but on the other hand do you really want your doctor to detail to your employeer exactly what you are going through?
Posted by orrn (Member # 6672) on :
radfaraf: Yep...have had 3 different doctors write for my FMLA(Family Medical Leave Act). Didn't help.....!
I had intermitent leave, meaning that I needed days off when my(or my daughter's) symptoms acted up.
My former employer lied and said that on 5 of those days when I called in I did not say it was because of my LD or FMLA related.
I knew that I had to do that so I always made sure I did, except for one time when I had the flu, but that was it.
I asked the investigator if they had the messages I left or a log of some sort(I know they don't cause I used to take the messages on some days) and she said "no".
So it is my word against theirs and the investigator took their side I guess. So much for employee rights!
I am just absolutely floored by all of this. And now that my insurance has run out I am off meds and can't think or act straight alot of the time.
I have applied for other jobs, but I think they are giving me a bad reference. So what do I tell people I have done for the past 11 years?
Why would they keep me for 11 years if I was such a bad employee? I am just crushed.
I did not mean to get off track with the original poster....Sorry lymeHerx001!!!!
Just got me thinking about everything!!!
orrn
Posted by John S (Member # 19756) on :
After I got this disease I started to wonder everytime I saw a homeless person if that poor ******* maybe just got some viral or microbial disease!
It definitely makes you more compassionate.
Posted by angrob75 (Member # 16942) on :
Yep, i definately fake it. The people at work know about the lyme but for the most part i try to put a smile on and just go about my daily work. I am having more and more trouble doing that though lately. I have been having seizures and had one at work yesterday so they pretty much know for sure now.
I always feel like i just want to be as normal as possible and i don;t think that people want to hear some one complain all of the time about how they are feeling so i just fake it.
I do think that it is just adding another stress to my life because i am sure that i am not going to be able to fake it much longer.
I have been thinking about ckecking into disability but i just hate to face that. Wish i could snap my fingers and just feel normal (what ever normal is).
Posted by Elizabeth Erin (Member # 13866) on :
I suffer from seizures too, I am afraid that the heartless ***** at my job would help me if I had one there??
They don't care as long as the work is done!!!!
Posted by buckfever (Member # 9876) on :
I know what all of you go through metally and physically , and I'm sorry to have nothing but the same stories to share ! It's a test I never sighned up to take , and I'm failing it!
The frustration of knowing that people just don't get it , family , friends , coworkers , nobody but our good llmd's , and us , wears me down even more .
Fakin it till I know another way to survive ! Hang in there , and good luck to us all !!!!!
Posted by lymeHerx001 (Member # 6215) on :
uhh!
The chemical sensitivity reared its ugly head again! I woke up at 5am in a sweat!
This time it was from the phthalates in the new office chair.
Gotta return that now. Great. This is hell, torture at best!!!!!!!
Posted by lymeHerx001 (Member # 6215) on :
Well its that time of year again for reveiews.
My review last year was good, but the one this year... not so good.
First they said I was negative! So I got a no in enthusiasm category.
Then they said that my work wasnt the neatest because I chopped of someones name on a piece of paper.
Then third they said that the they cant find me in the building sometimes because Im helping everyone out too much!!!
All this for $300 a week.
But they pay my insurance. Im killing myself for the stupid insurance.
I am so livid.
I wish I could just have a regular insurance so I can go from job to job and bypass these underpaying government greed mongers.
Posted by lymeHerx001 (Member # 6215) on :
anyone else?
Posted by keltyl (Member # 14050) on :
I still work b/c of the $ we have to spend to fight this DD.
PPL at work know I have Lyme and pretend to understand but they really don't. I try not to let it show when I'm having a real difficult time.
I work for the state of NY, and they do not carry disability on us. (For any other business in the state, it's the law to carry disability on your employees).
So I made a plan, saving up my time (vac, sick, holiday, and personal leave), then I'll take a medical leave now and then. My LLMD says anytime, just give him the word. Three or four weeks of rest now and then, and still getting a paycheck will be great.
BTW too, sometimes I just use my age as an excuse.
Posted by pepperspeck (Member # 18837) on :
I used to work but when I was at my worst, I took a medical leave that turned into my resignation for medical reasons. (lyme)
My co-workers were supportive and understanding but lyme is pretty well known here. (Just not treated appropriately 9 times out of 10!)
I was lucky in that my husband was able to hire me after a couple of years of healing. I was able to work from home, part time. Good because I could work around the brain fog and other issues.
I do not tell anyone how I feel at this point. I have tried to get my extended family to understand, but they seem to be in denial and would rather think that I just do not want to spend time with them.
My husband knows, because he sees me day to day. But even with him, I do not tell him everything. Lyme has taken the wife he knew away and I try to be as "normal" as possible for him. (which is pretty far from normal)
My kids don't really know the extent of it either. I just can not burden them with worry.
I have to go back to work because my husband's company has suffered terribly from this economy. I was just wondering if I should tell them when interviewed why I have not worked in my field for the past 8 years...or if I should just give them a story.
All the best to everyone here that are climbing that huge mountain. Just remember to stop and rest when you can.
Posted by Clint31 (Member # 16420) on :
I got put on disability for lyme then when my claim for short term disability got denied I was let go from my company. Now there is a lawsuit against my company for it.
I want to go back to work but I'm scared because I know I'm not there yet.
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