Some of you may remember I posted about my husband's sleeping problems.
He had a sleep study done and was dx'd obstructive apnea due to the relaxed position of his jaw during sleep.
A mouth piece would probably work best for him. The insurance company mandates that he first try the C-Pap.
He hates the machine.
Meanwhile, after talking to "others" and researching on the internet - he acquired a medical card to smoke POT!!!!!
-a little history here - my husband used to smoke pot - for years - and drink and it made him lazy and mean - seriously.
So when our daughter was 18 and I was going to leave him - he stopped it. Turned back into the nice and fun man that I married years ago.
Now 8 years later he's smoking pot again. He sneaks out to the back yard. Leaves his "stuff" laying around and it's making me crazy.
He says he is sleeping now and he wants me to try it because he says he read on the internet that it helps Lyme symptoms.
1. I'm afraid he'll get mean. I'm unhealthy now I can't take that.
2. I hate the sneaking around and little lies to excuse himself from family functions so he can go take a few "hits".
3. I hate the strange friendships that result from sharing with fellow pot smokers.
My mom keeps asking about him - how's he doing. I feel like I should just tell her the truth. Afterall, he has obtained the pot legally.
I figure some here have experience with this - some smoke it and some may live with someone who does.
Can you all give me some sage advice as to how to deal with this? I've been bottled up and am about to blow---
-peedie
Posted by just jan (Member # 16285) on :
Peedie, It sounds like you are having a really hard time. Maybe try some Al-Anon meetings. They teach you how to let go of what the person using does so you can get some peace for yourself. We can't change anyone but ourselves. I hope this helps. Blessings, justjan
Posted by Melanie Reber (Member # 3707) on :
Well... there certainly are other ways to obtain the benefits of the drug w/out the health risks of the smoke.
Perhaps see if he is open to other forms that may help the issues and not harm either of you in the long run?
they have this sleep snoring thingie they advertise on tv that's supposedly guarantted to work. apparently you soften it in hot water and then put it in your mouth.
not cheap, but it's about 60 bucks i think.
would he be willing to try this?
i understand your concern, i'd be freaking out.
what a mess? is there anyway you can talk to his doctor without him knowing?
i'm sorry to say that it may come down to either his drugs or you? are you prepared for that choice?
i don't have any easy answers, but maybe others will.
i sincerely wish the best for you.
oh, i used to date a pilot many many years ago. he drank big time, i mean a 6 pack before we'd go out and then he'd hit the big stuff.
i loved him something fierce but i realized he had a problem i couldn't deal with, well, that and all the women.
i dropped that situation adn never looked back, but man, it hurt. i could just see a lot of problems ahead.
wonder whatever happened to him tho.
Posted by Peedie (Member # 15355) on :
just jan - thanks for the tip - I used to go to Al-Anon meetings. I don't believe they were of any benefit to me.
No one is allowed to talk about their experiences from a "responsible" aspect. No one talks about solutions.
Altho I see the merit in being able to separate yourself from the problem person - and not let things hurt you - I really don't see any long term solutions there.
Please forgive me if I sound ignorant. I just don't see this in my future.
Melanie - thanks for the link. I was having a panic attack reading it - so I had to stop. I'll revisit it later.
Randibear - Gosh I think I once dated the same guy! LOL
One of my friends from my school days, her dad was a commercial pilot and was never sober a day in his life.
The laws have changed a lot - hope he was forced to retire or something.
Now, My husband is being careful concerning his behavior. He is still the same sweet guy -- so far. But it has only been two weeks.
He drinks in moderation. A couple beers or a beer and 1 glass of champagne.
I won't think of preparing to leave him at this point - don't even want to go there - unless things take a turn for the worse.
But what do I do in the meantime?
I've seen that commercial for the mouth piece! I think I'll order it for him - couldn't hurt - right?
Posted by 2roads (Member # 4409) on :
Peedie,
I would like to do some research and acquire pot that easily....really??
Just kidding, but it is quite impressive.
They sound to me like to separate issues...maybe i am missing something here.
Is the pot for pain?...it can't be for sleep apnea. If he says it is, I would get on him about the validity of that, espy with his history. I believe pot is necessary in certain health situations, and I am glad that in those cases, it is legal. However,....
You may go through all the trouble to deal with the apnea and find out he is just regressing back to a good high.
Sounds like you two need a heart to heart. I want to offer up more, but I would start with the motive again. Work out from there.
I think if he is sincere, he will try what therapies are recommended first.. the machine and if it is not tolerated (atleast smooz the system and try it) , then push for the mouthpiece with some excuse.
...and if he gets mean taking pot it is your problem, and if he loves you he will try the medically recomended options first. This is not castration, it is a mouth piece,hopefully, in the end.
Best to you-
2roads
Posted by Pinelady (Member # 18524) on :
Has he had his thyroid checked? My husband would
wake the dead before he found his was terribly low.
I had to sleep with him to keep him alive as he
quit breathing all nite long. Got his thyroid up
and he no longer snores and does not need a cpap
any longer. And I don't have to sleep with him either.
Posted by Peedie (Member # 15355) on :
2 roads - good point. His musician friends are into it. Must be hard for him to tough it out. I wonder...
He is convinced it helps him sleep. Apparently there is an assortment. A type will help pain more - a different type for sleep...I don't know.
When I say he got mean - He would never physically harm me - I should have mentioned that at the start.
Pinelady - I never knew that about the Thyroid. I asked - he hasn't had a blood panel in about a year and half.
Wouldn't you think his PCP would have done that? Oh well, so I will try to get that done.
Thanks for all your help, -peedie
Posted by farraday (Member # 21494) on :
Peedie, Years ago I had a doctor put me on the pill version of pot. It totally knocked me out. So maybe he could try that.
When my late husband was dying of pancreatic cancer he tried smoking it for the nausea and it really helped him. I also baked brownies with it for him. He was not a smoker so he had to experiment until he learned to do it. He was able to keep some food down and I think it extended his life. A doctor told us about it.
My current husband can wake the dead, too. He had the throat surgery, but has returned to the old snoring. The cpap can help a lot, but you have to use it awhile to get used to it. And he resists. I have to wake him and roll him over so that ruins my sleep, too. He is planning to have another sleep study.
I think you are right to stop this behavior. It sounds to me like an excuse, not a solution. And drinking can't be helping at all! I would sure try the thyroid test. Then I would call the sleep clinic and ask for their help.
Peedie, you must take care of yourself. Ask him to help you do it. It doesn't sound to me like he has your best interests in mind.
BTW I would be interested to learn more about the mouthpiece, if anyone cares to PM me. Thanks.
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