quote:

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Originally posted by surprise:
Yes, you are on a whopper full of stuff.

I'd say please discontinue something-- it's not worth it.
I, for one, could not do that combo all at once.

If there is anything I can do, let me know.
Also know, we care about you!

Take a med break. Do something pleasurable- massage, rent some funny movies-
Seriously.

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I agree! Call your Dr and discuss it with him/her.


 

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Posted by linky123 (Member # 19974) on :
 
Will keep you in our prayers.
 

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Posted by poppy (Member # 5355) on :
 
Some people have found that low dose naltrexone can help with pain issues.
 

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Posted by sixgoofykids (Member # 11141) on :
 
Please call your doctor.

Are any of your meds new? With Lyme affecting the nervous system, if there were any med changes recently, I would think it could cause these kind of thoughts.

Do you have people helping you? Do they know about these thoughts? If it's bad, you really need someone to be with you constantly until this passes.

I hope you get a break in treatment soon. We all understand how hard it can be. I had times that I didn't want to live (not in the sense of being suicidal though), and now today, I am well and living a normal life. It can turn around.

I got tired of the meds and just fluctuating but not getting better, so started considering other treatments. If may be time to be open to new ideas.


 

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Posted by sixgoofykids (Member # 11141) on :
 
I also want to point out that it's a full moon. It's been crazy here from a moderator perspective. That could be contributing to how you're feeling.
 

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Posted by Spindleshanks (Member # 32556) on :
 
Maybe its from the malarone I felt like that more than usual while on Mepron.

I hope you make it through this dark time. We are all understanding and are pulling for you.
 

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Posted by mlg (Member # 35383) on :
 
Hang in there maybe take a breather for a few days. Do more natural things garlic grapefruit seed extract. Juicing take a break go outside and get fresh air. Find a naturalpathic doctor. Talk to a friend or pastor.

Take care my prayers are with you.
 

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Posted by RZR (Member # 20953) on :
 
Thanks for all the kind words.

I was doing ok with pain until this week. Herxes are always bad for me.

I just feel suicidal because I can't get anything to remission....feels like no end in sight.

Not sure if I need a med break or not. I took Rifampin 6 months before starting Levaquin, so herx was not bad. Had to discontinue Rifampin because babs relapsed. Been on Malarone and Levaquin 5 weeks, doxy 9 months, Tidamax pulse since end of July.

Only new thing I added was cryptolepis 2-1/2 weeks ago. Can crypto also hit yeast? I will stop it for a few days.
 

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Posted by PatriotM (Member # 38493) on :
 
I am concerned that your suicidal thoughts could be caused by the medicine that you're taking or some combination of the medicines. It seems like every other medication advertised on TV has suicidal thoughts as a side effect.

I also think that you should call Dr. R and discuss this ASAP! She has a lot of arrows in her quiver to use against Lyme and Co. and I'm sure that she can do something to help. Maybe it's time for a change in the plan of attack! At any rate, call and discuss it with her.

Things will get better, you've just got to hang in there until they do and keep communicating with your doctor. Also, maybe you need to make more frequent trips to the doctor until you're over this rough patch.
 

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Posted by Carol in PA (Member # 5338) on :
 
You're on Malarone, which is like Mepron.
There have been a number of threads talking about the "Mepron blues."

Mepron and Malarone work by oxidizing.
This makes you feel awful, because your cells are bathed in more waste products.


You need antioxidants to counter this, but taking them while taking the medication means that it won't be as effective in killing Babesia.

Also, Levaquin depletes magnesium, and you may have more pain from joint and tendon issues.
I've read that you should load up on magnesium before starting Levaquin, because of this.


If you decide to stop meds for a bit, be sure to take lots of magnesium and antioxidants to help your body recover.
I don't think you can take mag along with Doxy though, as it affects its absorbtion.


Babesia lives within the red blood cells, and causes the red cells to break apart and die.
Because of this, your blood cannot carry as much oxygen as usual.

When your body's cells do not get enough oxygen, they do not function as well.
You get fatigued, short of breath, with more pain and headaches.

The spleen filters out components of the dead red cells to recycle them, and the kidneys filter out a component that will make the urine look dark.
 

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Posted by jarjar (Member # 8847) on :
 
RZR so many of us have been there....I'm sending you a PM.
 

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Posted by sometimesdilly (Member # 9982) on :
 
Hey. RZR.

Dig deep.

Many years on, I've long since reached a point where I'm convinced I won;t ever get better than what I where I am. So be it.

Dig deep. Maybe you have a long way to go before you reach any kind of similiar point. Maybe you'll never a reason to get there-- keep on trying therapy, and maybe you won't.

But, even if docs and meds can't get you back to 100%, there is still a life to have, adjustments made.

Live on. And hope.
 

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Posted by Lymetoo (Member # 743) on :
 
I was thinking "malarone" too.

Mepron Blues
http://flash.lymenet.org/scripts/ultimatebb.cgi/topic/1/89042?

But the combo of what you are on could cause just about anything.
 

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Posted by jackie51 (Member # 14233) on :
 
I think we all get those feelings every now and then. You must not give up.

Hang in there!
 

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Posted by Carol in PA (Member # 5338) on :
 
This is a support group, but we do not want to "support" our members into killing themselves.

PLEASE stop the antibiotics for a day and call your doctor.
Give your liver some time to catch up with detoxifying the poisons in your blood.


Take magnesium, fish oil, and antioxidants.
 

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Posted by hopeful4 (Member # 8486) on :
 
Those of us here understand what you are going through. Please contact your doctor right away.

Suicidal thoughts can come from the treatment. It could be that the treatment you are on is too aggressive at this moment in time, and you need to back off (reduce or take a break from antibiotics) and regain your balance. The toxins produced by dieoff can also play a part. Detoxifying and supporting the liver are essential.

When my thoughts turned to the dark side during treatment, my doctor had me stop the antibiotics and support the liver and detox. When I felt better, she gradually re-introduced the antibiotics, one by one, and at dosages that I could tolerate. It helped greatly!

Please take care. There is help for getting through this battle.
 

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Posted by lymenotlite (Member # 33166) on :
 
I have not been suicidal but I have felt before that my life was barely worth living. I believe I was on mepron both times. I now think of it as a dark night of the soul. Amazing how much better I felt when off the drugs.
 

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Posted by Rumigirl (Member # 15091) on :
 
I second everything everyone has already said. I have certainly been there myself, as have many of us.

In addition a few other things to consider:
DETOX is critically important with these infections and heavy duty die-off. Coffee enemas are life-savers for me. There is also lemon water, liver flushes, clay, clorella, and many other methods of detox. Pick one or two methods, they help enormously.

Definitely call your dr. You may need to have him or her change your meds.

Definitely talk to a therapist, friend, counselor, or pastor.
And, yes, if the feeling is strong, you need someone to stay with you during this time.

Do you have a local support group?

sometimes we need either a natural antidepressant (sam-e, 5 HTP) or a med antidepressant during treatment to help bear it.

Feel better!
 

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Posted by Robin123 (Member # 9197) on :
 
The homeopathic remedy pulsatilla 12x helped me reduce depression - I forgot I had taken a tablet of it the night before and woke up, well, happy, and couldn't figure out why - hope you can figure out how to get some relief - good suggestions above.

It's hard to get through all this, and it really helps when a combo is found that works, like detox suggestions, or whatever - we have to keep finding out what's going to work.
 

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Posted by lax mom (Member # 38743) on :
 
RZR,

Are you feeling any better?


 

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Posted by RZR (Member # 20953) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by lax mom:
RZR,

Are you feeling any better?

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Thank you so much for asking!

I don't really feel any better yet, but trying my best to get the bad thoughts out of my head.

I am going to skip meds for a couple of days and focus on detox.
 

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Posted by Tammy N. (Member # 26835) on :
 
RZR - my heart goes out to you. I've been in that dark place myself before, many times. I hope you can pull out of it soon.

I think it's great that you are going to take a break and focus on detox. That's what I do when the going gets tough.... and I always feel better once my body has had a chance to purge and rebalance itself. (Daily coffee enemas have been a life saver for me.)

Pleasure/happiness in our lives is so important. With this disease it's so easy to lose our way. Try if you can to find those little pockets of happiness.... even small things that bring you joy. For me it can be simple things like tossing a handful of peanuts in the back yard and watch the chipmonks and beautiful birds enjoy them. Or picking up a few flowers from the garden center and potting them for my front porch. Reading a great book from the library (a daily pleasure I enjoy.) I try to do lots of little things like this throughout my days. It's not that these things solve my problems, but they give me wonderful blessed distractions from the difficulties of this disease. I've been working very hard to shift my thinking away from illness. It's not easy, but I'll continue working on it until healthy thinking is my habit (and my sincere wish is that a healthy body will accompany.) Wishing the same for you.

Sending hugs your way.

God bless you,
Tammy
 

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Posted by lax mom (Member # 38743) on :
 
Glad to hear you are going to take a small antibiotic break.

Just know that you are not alone.
 

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Posted by Ellen101 (Member # 35432) on :
 
So sorry you are having such a rough time. I hope with a few days off of antibiotics you will feel better. I find I have to take a break every one in a while when I feekl things getting to be too hard to handle.

I was severely depressed awhile back and new it was probably the mepron. After stopping all the meds for a few days it lifted.

Please know you are not alone as we are all here for you.
 

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Posted by lymetwister (Member # 19590) on :
 
RZR, PM Sent !
 

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Posted by RZR (Member # 20953) on :
 
Thank you all so much for helping me through this.

The suicidal feelings are gone. I am really embarrassed that I even let myself go there. It really helped to take a couple days off abx.

Hugs to all!
 

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Posted by dbpei (Member # 33574) on :
 
So happy to hear this RZR! I think a lot of us have been there and we understand. Glad you are out of that dark place.
 

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Posted by Tammy N. (Member # 26835) on :
 
RZR - there is NOTHING to be embarrassed about. Please don't feel that way. You are SAFE here sharing with us. We've all been there (or should I say most of us have been there).

So glad you are feeling better. I hope it continues and continues.
 

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Posted by Catgirl (Member # 31149) on :
 
YAY! I agree with Tammy, zero to be embarrassed about. We understand. :)
 

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Posted by beths (Member # 18864) on :
 
Don't ever be embarrassed. This board is a lifesaver for many. I think only those that have been thru this "get it".

Glad you are doing better
 

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Posted by hopeful4 (Member # 8486) on :
 
So glad to hear that you're feeling better! There's absolutely no need to be embarassed, you're in the company of people who have been there. We understand, and are happy that you are lifted up out of the darkness.
 

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Posted by RZR (Member # 20953) on :
 
Thanks to all....you guys are great!
 

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Posted by beths (Member # 18864) on :
 
Your mailbox is full!
 

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